


Raindrops and Dewdrops

by itsmsmellow, xaveriix



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Do-Over, Kirigakure, Other, POV Original Female Character, Pre-Canon, Rebirth, Slow Build, Slow Romance, The Village Hidden in the Mist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-08-21 19:36:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 54,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8257960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsmsmellow/pseuds/itsmsmellow, https://archiveofourown.org/users/xaveriix/pseuds/xaveriix
Summary: I'm a 32-year-old working at some dead end job. Drifting by each day without a thought or care, I was just waiting until my time finally runs out and just move on from this pointless life. One night, I got murdered by a delusional junkie - I think he got the wrong person. You would think that would be the end of my story, a pathetic story, but I woke up to a new world where Ninjas and magic are the norms. I also realize that for some reason, some asshole "up there" is not letting me stay dead. **Undertale influenced.**Character restarts from a "checkpoint" after they die.**Originally posted on FF.NET





	1. Rebirth

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first stab at writing an SI for the Naruto universe! I want to explore the culture of Kirigakure, and sort of write about the different missions that Kirigakure could go on. It's just, we know so much about Konohagakure, and the characters residing in that village - but what about Kirigakure? Amegakure? Iwagaure? There are just so many villages that you could work with to have an original story, but still loosely follow the canon storyline. As for whether my main protagonist will mess up the canon universe or follow true to the canon universe is really up to her. Sometimes, I feel like she just does something I really don't want her to. Haha.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy! This is definitely a BIG project I look forward to working on! I apologize for the amateurish writing as English is, unfortunately, my second language. Without further ado! Welcome to the world of Naruto where you experience the story through the eyes of an SI/OC!

I always believed that everyone had one life. Everyone had _one life_ to work hard for their dreams, their ambitions, or their goals. If they decided to waste away their golden opportunity then there were no second chances for them.

You die. You rot. You are forgotten.

Reincarnation? I always scoffed at the idea. I always thought that people who believed in such a convenient notion were just scared of the inescapable mortality.

Unfortunately, the truth of the matter was that you only got that one life and that one chance. Thinking about my life like this felt a bit bitter-sweet. I'm 32 years old; graduated from some no name college with a general arts degree.

Ah… what was my dream again? What did I once aspire to be again?

None of that mattered now. I made so many mistakes in my life.

_Nothing mattered._

"Jade! What did I tell you about upselling?" my supervisor looked very displeased with me. She was much younger than I, and she was currently attending school to be a nurse or something.

I looked up at our promotional poster. _Buy one, get one free_! The sign practically screamed with its bold, thick font colored in red and yellow.

Looking back at the small brunette supervisor, I laughed sheepishly. "I'm sorry. I will definitely remember to inform the next customer about our promotion."

The young supervisor gave me a hopeless sigh.

"Alright. Try your _best_."

Ah. That condescending little bitch. I had been working at this video rental store for three years and counting yet I was still a grunt worker. While she had been here for six months and they promoted her to a supervisor. I deserved some respect!

But the small voice inside of me tauntingly replied, _you never tried your best in ANYTHING. You always try to take the easy way out._

I heaved a deep sigh. I felt so numb these days.

I glanced at the computer monitor, and the time read 8:55 pm. Five more minutes and I could _finally_ go home.

_Time, run quicker so I can be done with this lousy life._

{+}

I finally left my workplace. There was a sudden rush of customers coming in that I had to stay an extra 30 minutes! Ugh, my precious time!

_Precious time? You never used your time wisely. You're just wasting away. What's another 30 minutes gone by to you?_

The moon was out. A half crescent shaped today. It was a beautiful night. There was a warm breeze flowing through my hair.

I walked past a Chinese restaurant. I was pretty hungry. Feeling too lazy to cook tonight, my body steered towards the small restaurant despite my better half telling me to cook a decent healthy meal for once.

A bag of takeout food in hand, I slowly trekked towards my one room apartment. It was a 15 minutes walk. I fished out my cell phone, _no new messages._ I could feel a small uncomfortable prick in my chest. _Whatever. It didn't matter._

I think Life had a funny way of deciding who would die and who could live on in this pointless existence. Life probably played darts to determine who was next to _go_.

My neighborhood wasn't exactly a bad neighborhood. It was pretty nice. The socioeconomic class was medium low, so I wouldn't exactly call it a _slum_.

"Is that you Kitty?" I heard a gruff voice behind me.

 _Kitty? Sounds like a stripper's name._ I turned around to correct the stranger. As soon as I registered the man's outer appearance, my body repulsed a step away from him. Don't chastise me with the bullshit moral of not judging a book by its cover. He looked sketchy and smelled sketchy; common sense dictated he was one sketchy motherfucker _._ This man was wearing a loose t-shirt matching with baggy jeans. He was dressed in a worn out beanie, and his face was very …unkempt. He was scratching his arms vigorously and I could see the angry red open sores all over his arms and face.

"Uh…" My voice got caught in my throat. _Speak! Speak!_ My head was screaming at me. The shady man took a step closer.

 _Run! Run!_ My head was urging my body to move.

He took another step forward.

Yes. I hated my life.

Yes. I thought my life was pointless.

Yes. I thought I was just taking up precious space and resource.

I know this may seem contradictory but… I didn't want to die.

No matter how crude my viewpoint of life could be, no matter how depressive my state of being was now – I didn't want to die.

"Kitty…" the man croaked.

I dropped my pathetic excuse for a dinner, and I quickly turned to get the hell away from this shifty stranger.

As soon as my vision turned towards an empty street, I felt my line of sight turn upwards to the half crescent moon in the sky. _Ow. My hair is being pulled out. Ow. Ow. Ow._

I fell on my back with a loud thud.

 _Help_. A small pathetic voice mewed inside my head.

"Ki-Kitty. I've been trying to meet you."

 _Help_.

"But you never returned my call. Why? Why? I loved you so much." He smelled of urine and sweat. His hands wrapped around my neck. Air. I needed air.

_Why can't I breathe?_

_Help me…_

My hands were grabbing this stranger's hands. _Air. Air. It hurts._

_Help me…_

_Why can't I breathe? Why can't I breathe? I need air. Air. Air. Air. Air. Air. Air. Air. Air. Air. Air. Air. Air._

_I WANT TO BREATHE. IT HURTS. HURTS. BURNS. BURNING. PAIN. PAIN._

I felt lightheaded now.

"..."

The books and the movies lied you know. You didn't think about your memories or the people you cared. You didn't analyze the individual who was slowly killing you. The only thing in your mind was fear and this raw, primitive urge to fight for your life.

I guess death wasn't so romantic after all.

"…"

"…"

_Ah. So this is how I die. Haha… hahaha._

{+}

I didn't believe in second chances.

I didn't believe in reincarnation.

I didn't believe in a higher calling.

You die. You rot. You are forgotten.

But Fate seemed to have other plans for me, Fate probably just wanted to prove me wrong and watch me struggle to comprehend the situation. Fate should probably find a better hobby.

The next time I opened my eyes; I saw unfamiliar faces. I tried forming words, but my mouth felt loose and foreign. I tried to push these faces that were way too close for comfort away from me, but my arms were bound tightly with some soft material. There was a woman with black ebony hair and the clearest blue eyes I have ever seen. She looked at me with so much… gentleness.

She cooed at me, and kept repeating the word " _Harumi."_ It was weird seeing her mouth upturned in such a big smile but at the same time, her eyes filled with tears.

I wanted to say, _"Who the hell are you? What are you saying? Where am I?"_ But instead, I was gurgling strings of high pitch _"gaga's"_ to my utter horror. _Oh God, was that my voice?_

I was stuck in a baby's body. Being held by an unknown woman. Surrounded by unknown people. That was my last thought before darkness enveloped me.

{+}

My physical age was three now. The first three years moved incredibly slowly for me. My mental age was 32, so I had three years to experience at least 50 different emotions related to confusion and dread. I was also being taught this country's native language. At first, I was scared to be labeled as a retard that couldn't grasp their _apparent_ first language quickly. But surprisingly, my brain absorbed the information swiftly. Also, the human brain had a weird way of accepting and adapting to a stressful and unknown situation quite readily.

I suppose it helped that I was having a pretty comfortable childhood. I was always fed till my stomach was full – though I didn't want to remember having my mouth full of another woman's nipple. I slept on a comfy cot. My "parents" constantly had a positive interaction with me as well as my relatives who babysat me and "played" with me. Well, they _tried_ to play with me. I just jeered at their pathetic attempt to make me smile.

One by one, my relatives all gave up. They would just make sure I didn't get hurt, and they didn't try to "play" with me anymore. That was all right by me. There was no need to get to know them. I was all right being alone. In fact, I welcomed it. I had a much bigger crisis that needed my immediate attention rather than trying to get to know my "family." Hello? I was stuck in a foreign body _and_ I was in a whole different era here!

Being in denial for the first two years kind of helped me out from breaking down, but in my third year I just gave up and sat there with a blank stare every time someone tried to talk to me. I was trying to gauge if they were real or if they were just a figment of my imagination. I was going to be an outcast within my "family," but I didn't care. After all, they weren't my _real_ family. I fancied the idea that this was just a weird dream and I was probably stuck in a comatose state. But somewhere along the way, when did I stop believing that I would just wake up?

For the lack of a better way to describe my situation and feelings: I was just confused. Like _all the time_ confused. I felt pretty unsure about everything, and I tread very carefully with how I approached my "family." I was trying to observe my surrounding and gather as much information I could about my state of being. But to them, I must've looked like a socially awkward meek child.

"Harumi-chan!" A soft melodious voice called me from my room. I was reading some fairy tale about ninjas saving princesses. It was...stupid. But entertaining since I've never read a fairy tale about magical ninjas that could control the elements. Typically ninjas just used a method of misdirection, threw some weapons, and… oh! They also wore all black.

I lifted my body up from the floor. I developed my motor skills pretty quickly in my three years of living with them so far, and my "father" would often praise me saying that I would be a great ninja. Yah, ninja. Alright.

Haha.

What a weird thing to say to a child.

This world didn't have wi-fi, and my "family" didn't own a phone or television. The house was a bungalow, and the flooring was all made of wood. We had a beautiful garden, so I guess that was pretty cool. Also, no one wore jeans in my household. We all wore some fancy _yukatas_ , which was a decorative robe to put it quite simply. I wasn't complaining! It was really comfortable. Breezy too. Plus, it looked cute on me which was a bonus.

I was also going to assume that I was born in a family with a pretty high social status considering the size of this bungalow. Maybe I traveled back in time? Ugh, it was exhausting trying to make heads or tails of my situation. The only thing I had was speculation.

"Yes?" I never called them "mother" or "father" unless they forced me to. It still felt unnatural for me.

"Do you want to help Kaa-san with dinner?"

"Okay."

For a split second, I saw her mouth twitch downwards. This was my conversation with them. Short. Curt. And to the point.

 _I don't want to know them. I don't want to form bonds with them._ That was my mantra for the last three years.

I saw my "mother" cutting up some vegetables. The knife looked sharp and shiny. I couldn't help my morbid thought of if I killed myself would I leave this place? It wasn't like I was having a horrid time here, in fact, it was probably better than my old life. But at the end of the day, there was a nagging feeling inside of me that screamed, _"I don't belong here."_

I never knew how important a sense of belonging was to me.

The pot boiling shook me out of my thoughts. I should probably move that away from the heat before it boiled over.

Sometimes it was weird how I don't account for the fact how weak and small this body was. I waddled my way towards the opened flame stove. I reached towards the handle.

I wondered why my 32-year-old brain didn't rationalize the fact that I was too short to reach the boiling pot of death comfortably?

The pot careened towards me. My eyes immediately widened in realization.

"Haru-chan!"

I closed my eyes, and I heard a loud metallic clang. I didn't feel any burn, but I was enveloped by a comfortable warmth instead. The first thing I saw was my mother clenching her bared teeth, and her eyebrows furrowed.

The second thing I saw was an angry red mark tattooed across my mother's forearm and hand.

My mother was hurting.

_It was my fault._

_I didn't mean to hurt her._

_I didn't mean to…_

How strange. I was 32 years old. I was an adult. Yet, at this moment, I regressed to a stupid confused three years old.

"Kaa-san! Kaa-san! Kaa-san!" My voice was thick with grief. That looked so painful.

"Harumi-chan, I'm alright." With her free hand, she assessed my non-existent injury.

My eyes burned with tears. Why? Why did she care about me so much? I shunned her. I caused her _so much_ pain. There were days where I could hear my mother tearfully crying to my father about how much I seemed to hate them.

I gritted my teeth. _That wasn't it mother. I don't hate you. You have shown me nothing but love and care. I…felt happy._

She was blaming herself for being an unfit mother.

_No… You're a wonderful mother. I'm just scared. I'm just confused. I don't know who I am._

My father was comforting my mother telling her that I was just _different_ , but they shouldn't give up on me.

I couldn't help but laugh bitterly at that. It _would've been so much easier just to give up on me. I was a useless daughter you know? I only knew how to run away._

Whenever they said, "Good Night. Good Morning. How are you? Are you hungry? Want me to read with you?"

Suffocation. That was what I was feeling. Why was I fighting their love again? Every time I rejected them, I saw how I was chipping away their strong front to act as if every rejection wasn't causing them harm.

There were days I wanted to burst out and pitifully embrace them and cry about problems they could never understand.

There were days I wanted to give in, and respond happily, pretending that my other life never existed… that Jade never existed.

Whenever they said, "I love you."

It killed me.

Once upon a time, my mother… my first mother said that to me.

It wasn't their fault. They didn't ask to give birth to someone like me. I just couldn't handle the fact that they were trying to act like my "real" parents. Deep inside, I was constantly trying to tell myself that if I accepted them as my real parents, then I was being selfish. That I didn't deserve to have loving parents. The fact that I walked away from my first parents showed that I didn't deserve this family. I couldn't accept them. What if I forgot my real family? This was my punishment. This constant torment of wanting to give in was gradually eating me alive.

Remember what I said about second chances? I didn't believe in them.

So…Why was it that she kept on trying? Why? Why? Why?

_Stop hurting me. Stop trying to take away my identity! Stop taunting me with what I threw away!_

"…"

A sudden realization hit me. It was a simple one. So simple, that it was pretty laughable.

It was because, in _her_ eyes, I was _her_ Harumi. I was _her_ beloved daughter. Jade Hallington didn't exist in this world. Jade was gone. Killed by a delusional junkie.

It was weird how my instincts and my thoughts sometimes get disjointed. Struggling to disconnect with my other self – as Harumi – seemed almost futile. I _was_ Jade, but now, I was Harumi.

Despite my rebellious thought of wanting to be left alone in this new world. Despite my need to punish myself further for abandoning my first parents. I finally gave into the loving embrace of a mother who protected this stupid, selfish, girl.

"Kaa-san. I'm sorry. Kaa-san!" My voice was thick with tears. My nose started to drip of mucus. In that moment, I forgot about my first mother. In that moment, the woman who I was clinging desperately to was my one and only mother, the only one who I learned to love first in this new world. Would she know? That my apology was actually for all those times I have hurt her. "I- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry…"

If being strong meant not caring, then I wanted to be weak. If being prideful meant I had to pretend to not care about my family or my boyfriend that I had once abandoned, then I didn't need pride. I was not capable of feeling jaded for the rest of my life.

Was it okay to live this life to the fullest? Was it okay to take on a new identity and be happy? Was it okay to form new relationships and learn to love once more?

Jade made so many mistakes and had so many regrets. I didn't want Harumi to walk the same foolish path Jade walked.

Goodbye, Jade. Goodbye, the once lonely and stubborn girl who thought so little of her first life. Goodbye, Jade Hallington.

This was my rebirth.


	2. Intersperse

After the embarrassing and a somewhat melodramatic moment I had with my mother, everything sort of went back to _normal_. By normal, I meant, they didn't really talk about my uncharacteristic outbursts or dwell on my stupid choice of going near the boiling pot of soup.

_Boiling hot soup is hot._

_Things that are hot can hurt you._

_Don't go near boiling hot soup._

_Yes. Duly noted._

A slap on the wrist and I was scot-free. I sort of expected them to yell at me for my mistake until the cows came home. But it was just a very, _very_ , soft-spoken lecture. I've realized that yes; parents who lectured you in a soft voice are kind of scarier than parents who screamed at you.

After that, I was back in the same monotonous routine. Woke up. Brushed my teeth. Ate breakfast. Went into my playroom with colorful assorted toys and children books. Ate lunch. Went into the playroom again. Ate dinner. Went into the playroom once more. Got tucked into bed.

Was that normal? Was that what all the kids were doing these days? Eat, poop, play, and sleep? Other than the occasional visits from my various cousins whom I have yet to remember the names of – which I have _many_ cousins mind you so you couldn't possibly expect me to remember _all_ their names – my life was pretty…

Easy?

Simple?

Relaxing?

"…"

_Boring._

I was _so_ bored. Simple as that. I think I read all the books that were on my shelf like at least a 100 times. _Each_. To the point where I basically could recite the whole story _perfectly._ I tried to ask my parents for more books, but they just gave me a small smile and said, "they will try their best." How hard was it to just buy a book from a bookstore? I mean, it seemed we were wealthy enough to be able to purchase a house _full_ of books judging by all these fancy ornaments decorated all over our home.

After asking my parents for the third time about getting more books and receiving the same response yet again, I concluded that perhaps books were hard to obtain. The stories were all drawn in this Asian brush stroke art style. You know the simple looking type of art that wasn't even fully drawn, but they drew _just_ enough hints for the observers to realize what it was? The papers were also very brittle, and the whole book looked like it was hand written. So I knew that the books were not manufactured like they were in _my_ – in Jade's world.

I looked at the pathetic pile of wooden blocks sitting neatly in the corner. There was a thin layer of dust covering them. Oh, has the shelf always been dusty too? Maybe I should give this place a good sweep…—oh my god, I had resorted to cleaning to ward away my boredom. I needed to go outside. Stat. Or at least _do_ something. Please, give me something to entertain myself with! At least in my old world, I could just sit on my couch for 8 hours straight and watch _Netflix_. Or I could just go on the Internet and consume a vast amount of useless information for hours on end. By the time I would retire to bed, it would be midnight or _past_ midnight. But in this world, time seemed to be moving very sluggishly.

I plodded my butt down onto the floor. Now that I thought about it, I really didn't know much about this world. The history. The people. The culture. The politics. Absolutely nothing.

Would it be weird if I showed interest in this type of information as a three-year-old? I looked down at my hands and realize how small, and how _soft_ they were. It really didn't look like my hands after all. My eyes traced up to my bare, skinny, and pale arms. _Not a single scar or a freckle huh?_ Suddenly, these unpleasant, intrusive thoughts began to worm their way into my head. _This isn't your body. This isn't your body. This isn't your body._ I took a sharp intake of breath, held it, and these small, soft, and cold fingers reached out for my neck. After a few seconds, I finally let go and hungrily took in as much air as I could. My neck felt like there were thousands of needles pricking and prodding the thin layer of my skin. Digging deeper and deeper each time until it was dissecting the sinews of my neck.

"..." A small quiver rolled down my spine.

 _Alright. Sitting in an empty playroom is definitely not good for my psyche!_ I stood up and decided to pay my parents a little visit. Perhaps I could make one of them take me outside of this house. I could argue that fresh air and seeing new things was good for a growing child my age. My lips turned upwards into a smile – a simple reason shouldn't make them too suspicious. That was exactly what a child would say, right?

...right.

Or was I over thinking this?

...I was over thinking this.

{+}

I opened the door slightly and quickly checked to see if anyone was in the hallway. _Left? Check. Right? Check._ Opening the wooden door slowly was the most agonizing three seconds of my _life_. The door just gave out such an unfriendly squawk as if it was trying to tell the _whole_ household that I was doing something _wrong_.

Wait a second.

"…"

Why was I trying to be sneaky again?

Giving myself a scoff for being so nervous, I straightened my back and proceeded my way to the common room first.

"…-sion out again?" That was my mother's voice. She sounded…upset?

I halted in my track. My back was glued to the wall. This sounded serious, and I didn't want to interrupt whatever this moment _was._ I could walk away, but as part of this family, I should also have the choice to participate in this conversation _without_ them realizing I was part of this conversation – so eavesdropping it was!

"It's just a patrol mission, Kazue – chan. You worry too much." Now my father was speaking. He spoke in his usual gentle and quiet voice. A voice that could lull you to sleep – trust me, he put me to sleep whenever he read bedtime stories to me. Well… he seemed to be doing less of that these days. I kind of miss it but nothing to cry over.

"But Daichi - san, you've retired from _Shinobi_ duties… you said… you said that you are going to focus on taki—" _Shinobi_. That word. It kept popping up in their conversations frequently these days. Was that a code word for something? Shinobi means ninja, but my dad wasn't _really_ a ninja, right? Perhaps it was an alias for a secret group?

I honestly should've taken note of the fact that my mother stopped talking. But before I could peek into the room from the sudden hanging silence, I felt a firm and heavy grasp on my shoulders.

"BOO!" A deep, _loud_ , voice rang through my left ear.

"Kyahhhhhh!" My body instantly froze up, my back went ramrod straight, and goose bumps were running down my whole body.

A raucous laughter soon followed after my ungodly high-pitched scream. I turned around to see my father clasping his stomach. _This man…seriously…so childish!_ My face bunched up, both from irritation and embarrassment.

"My little Haru-chan." He ruffled my hair, I hated when he did that, it felt like I was being treated as a _child_. Well, _technically_ I was. But… you get my point! "Only three, and already she's trying to be all sneaky like a _shinobi_."

Seriously.

No, _seriously_. How the hell did he get behind me? I was by the _only_ exit. I didn't hear him at all. I didn't see him leave through this door. How – wha –?

I looked back at the tall, built man towering over me. His hair was black and slightly tousled to the left. He had a clean-shaven face, and I saw faint lines of crow's feet slowly growing with age. He looked to be in his mid-20s or late 20s.

I wasn't going to lie; he was very attractive. Oh hush about him being my father, I was a single lonely 32-year-old woman – let me at least appreciate good-looking men! –

That sort of sounded wrong didn't it? Well, time to put this thought into a box never to be opened, and tuck it deeply into the far recess of my mind.

"Tou-san. That was not funny." I puffed my cheeks out; he almost gave me a heart attack! "Also…" now was the time to confront my curiosity as any, "There's no such thing as Shinobis tou-san." Ah, I wanted to ask a question, not make a statement.

My dad quirked his left eyebrow, knelt to one knee, and met his light blue eyes with mine. He had a small bemused look on his face, "Now Haru-chan, why do you think there are no such things as shinobis?"

Ah, crap. Crap. What can I say? That ninjas only existed a long time ago? Ah, but what if I went back into the era where ninjas do exist? I mustered all my 32-years worth of knowledge to come up with a competent response.

Shrugging my shoulder, I shifted my line of sight to his left ear, "I dunno…" I mumbled. Good job 32 years of knowledge. Really had my back there.

"Well…" He pondered for a moment before he finally said, "We live in a village full of Shinobis Haru-chan."

A village full of shinobis. Okay. That wasn't scary at all. Basically, I lived in a village full of people who could sneak up on me silently and kill me on a whim. _Wonderful_.

"Tou-san is a shinobi. Shinobi basically works for the village – it's a normal job like any other job you see Haru-chan!"

A normal job… Did he kill anyone with this _normal_ job of his? "Is…" I stopped and bit my tongue. Did you kill someone? How many have you killed? What sort of missions did you take? I shouldn't ask this. My father was expecting a question from me, urging me to ask anything I wanted. My lame question for the day: "Are shinobis… good?"

My father took in a brusque breath. I winced in response. Was that a bad question?

After a respite of silence, my father gave out a small chuckle. "Now, isn't that an odd question, Haru-chan?" He hummed quietly before he gave me a bright smile and said, "Shinobis are heroes in this village."

"…heroes?" I _almost_ scoffed at him. Ninjas were known to be mercenary for hire specialized in assassinations. Ninjas only benefitted those who were rich and powerful – and they had no sense of loyalty towards anything but monetary gain. I _highly_ doubt ninjas were morally good characters.

"That's right. Tou-san loves your kaa-chan and Haru-chan _very_ much." Another ruffle –attack on my hair. "And tou-san loves his clan and…" a short pause, "this village as well."

"…okay…" I hesitantly replied as I didn't know what to say to his sudden confession of what he loved. But from the look of his face to how slowly he was picking his words, I didn't like the sudden drastic turn of the mood in this conversation.

"Shinobis protect their precious people. Tou-san is a shinobi because Haru-chan is worth fighting for." He cupped my face, his left thumb lightly brushed my cheek, were his hands always _this_ callused?

_Hey… Dad? It's almost like…_

_…Almost like you're saying your final farewell to me…_

_Hey…?_

_…_

_Say something…_

_Dad?_

I finally found my voice, "So, are you going somewhere?"

A wry chuckle first followed by my father's poor attempt at deflection, "Haru-chan, you're very observant aren't you?"

My hands reached for this bigger, rougher hand that was currently caressing my face. I smiled as innocently as I could. "Where are you going?"

"Tou-san just needs to _visit_ somewhere far away." As my father spoke, I heard a faint strangled breath from my mother. "Tou-san will bring Haru-chan some souvenir! Ah… Haru-chan likes books, right?" His tone was bright, cheery, happy, and _fake_.

_I hated it._

"Tou-san… when are you coming back then?"

Another _fake_ laugh, "You just can't wait for those books, eh, Haru-chan."

_Stop it._

"Tou-san. _Are_ you coming back?" I wanted answers. Don't play this game with me. I finally accepted you as my parent. I finally decided to get to know more about you.

No. That wasn't it…

I _wanted_ to know more about you. Your silly side. Your serious side. Your caring side. I wanted to experience them. I wanted to know how you and mom met. I wanted you to teach me more things about this world, about _your_ world. I wanted to listen to you make those stupid, silly, falsetto voices as you try your best to impersonate the princess' voice.

Remember? The one book you read to me every night, just because I said it was _interesting_.

You sucked at voice acting by the way, but I didn't mind it.

A defeated sigh escaped from my father's lips. "Haru-chan…you'll understand when you're a bit older."

Something clenched my heart painfully.

A flash of memories of Jade and her parents were recalled:

_"Papa… where are you going? Papa who's that woman in your car? Papa when are you coming back home?"_

_"Sweetie, you'll understand when you're a bit older."_

What was this bitterness that I feel?

My small grubby hands tightened my father's hand. "Then explain it to me in a way that I _can_ understand, tou-san." I bit out acridly.

My father's face faltered slightly from the sudden angry shift of my tone. I blinked away the memories, and my hand that was gripping the larger hand desperately dropped back to my side in defeat.

"S-sorry," I said after a moment of hesitation.

Ah. I see. I was already attached to this silly, childish father. And this busybody mother who fretted over lots of things, long before I came to a conscious conclusion that they meant something to me.

I suppressed my sour chuckles of disbelief. "Ah, that's strange. I'm such a kid… hahaha…" I tried to wipe away the tears before he could see. But it was for naught. "Su-such a cry baby aren't I… Tou-san…hahaha." What was wrong with me? Why were my emotions so out of control? Sometimes it was like my mind, and my body were desynchronized.

_Stop crying._

_You're making yourself look foolish._

_Someone, make my tears go away!_

"Really. Haru-chan is very smart." Another tousle to my hair. Some of the pieces of my black hair fell in front of my eyes. I made no motion to sweep it away as my father tucked the stray strands behind my ears. "Tou-san is so lucky to have such a smart daughter!"

I didn't say anything.

He didn't divulge me of any more information.

I didn't want to know.

In the end, I just knew he was going far away. That and none of us knew when he would be coming back home.

The next couple of days, our family acted as if this whole ordeal never happened. We ate. We talked about a mundane topic such as the weather and the deliciousness of my mother's cooking. We slept. And after three more days of pretending everything was _normal_ and _fine_ , my father left during the night while I was asleep. Maybe I should've said something. Maybe I should've acted like a brat and screamed and cried for him to not go. I was entitled to that, weren't I? After all… I was technically a three-year-old. But let's be real. My body may be that of a child, but my mind had already experienced all of Jade's childhood and partway through her adulthood. From this life experience, you pick up a few things here and there. I'll let you into a trade secret. Once you've become an adult; it will much harder to talk about the things you wanted. You can't help but stifle your words because you were scared that they might turn away from you, or reject you.

_You don't have the privilege to say whatever you want to say without facing the consequences as an adult._

But that was just a convenient excuse, did you really believe such a bold faced lie? I couldn't speak for others, but I was a coward. Simple as that. Jade never spoke out her thoughts you know.

What happened with trying to be different from Jade?

I guess it was a lot harder to separate Jade's personality from intermingling with Harumi's personality than I originally thought.

{+}

A week had passed, and I could see the worrying taking a toll on my mother's body. Dark circles under her eyes and a permanent frown etched her face.

If father met mother while he was a shinobi, was she not used to him leaving for a mission? Or wait… she did say he retired. Maybe they met after he retired?

I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I wanted to ask my mom if I could explore outside the compound for a bit but, at the same time, I didn't know if talking about any form of "leaving" was a good idea with her.

I came to terms that my father left us for his job. I didn't know too much about the shinobi world, but if even my mother couldn't stop him – I had no chance in hell. The only thing I could do was wait for his return. Once, Jade waited for her good-for-nothing father for 4 years! So for Harumi, this should be a piece of cake waiting for perhaps a couple of months.

I walked around the empty compound, and I saw my cousins hanging around in the garden. I had nothing planned for today – or every day for that matter – so what was the harm in mingling with my beloved cousins?

"Hey, guys!" Still didn't know their name. _I know, I'm terrible._

"O-oh Harumi-chan?" One of the twins spoke up. They both had light blue hair – freaky – apparently blue hair was natural in this world. I kind of wished I were born with cool colored hair. Jade had light brown hair. Harumi had straight black hair. Basically, hair colors that screamed, "NORMAL."

"What are you guys up to?" I asked.

"Uhm…" The twins looked at each other before they grabbed my wrist and dragged me behind a large tree with a gnarled trunk.

"Woah, woah, hey!" I shouted.

"SHHHH!" The twins mirrored each other's action _perfectly_. Okay. Creepy.

" _Woah, woah, hey!"_ I stage whispered, three years old and I was already turning into a sarcastic turd.

The twins peeked from the tree, and after what they deemed to be as 'coast was clear' – clearly they didn't realize this was a motherfucking village with _ninjas_ as the norm. Privacy? What privacy?

One of the twins finally spoke up; she had a red clip pulling her bangs to the left. "Haru-chan. You know how we're not supposed to leave this compound?"

The other twin started to speak; she had a blue clip pulling her bangs to the right. Until I find out their name, I will dub their names to be 'lefty' and 'righty' respectfully. "Well, we found a small passage that will lead us out from this compound." Righty was trying super hard to contain her glee. Suffice to say, she failed miserably.

Huh. I did not know we were barred from going outside. Well makes sense. Ninjas and stuff. I guess.

The twins were trying to muffle each other from … what? I don't even know. "Let me guess. You guys were planning to try to leave this compound." I guessed their obvious intentions dryly.

"How did you know?" Lefty spoke out, her face filled with astonishment. "Are you a mind reader, Haru-chan?"

"…"

I squinted my eyes in disbelief, "Seriously." They both looked at me with a determined face.

Kids couldn't be this dumb, could they? Were they?

"No way, what am I thinking right now, Haru-chan!" This time, Righty pulled me towards her. They were so grabby.

"No- look. Guys. I'm not a mind reader." Ah, _this_ was the reason why I didn't hang out with them as much. They were a year older than me, but I had a troubled time dealing with their childish antics and their gullibility. They couldn't understand sarcasm. And trust me, when you spoke to them, it was really hard to control your sarcastic-ness.

"Oh." Lefty and Righty both looked crestfallen.

"Aaaanyway." I tried to catch their short attention span. "There's a reason why our parents banned us from going outside." I mean, maybe outside of the compound was dangerous? I grabbed their arms and tried to drag them out of our 'hiding spot.' "Don't get any silly ideas like going through your little exit. Come on." Seriously, someone needed to act like an adult here.

"Man, this is why everyone calls you a party pooper." Lefty pouted as she took her arm back – though I didn't really give much resistance in the first place.

"Yah, they also called you uncool." This time, Righty started to goad me a bit.

I will not let these kids emotionally manipulate me into doing their bidding. I will not let these kids emotionally manipulate me into doing their bidding. I will not let these kids emotionally manipulate me into… I took a deep breath and gave a _very_ wide, and _very_ forced smile. "Now, now. As much as I _adore_ gossiping about my low level of …coolness. You know that I'm right." _Come on Harumi. Be the bigger person here._

"You also talk funny." Lefty flatly said.

"Oh come on. Now you're attacking the way I talk?" I gave her an exasperated look. I simply cannot win here.

"Haru-chan. Just for once, just for _once_ , be cool." Righty said.

_I will not let these kids emotionally manipulate me into doing their bidding._

"Yah, Yah! Aren't _you_ curious about what the town looks like?" Lefty asked.

_I will not let these kids emotionally manipulate me into doing their bidding._

"Yah! And don't go thinking about telling our parents about this." Righty said. Ah, there laid their true reason for wanting to include me in their little escapade. They accidentally slipped about their little secret exit hole and are trying to keep me quiet by tempting my insatiable curiosity.

Those clever little bastards.

Well now that I knew their plan, there was absolutely no way I was going to let them go. The outside world _could be_ dangerous, and if something happened to them, it would be in my consciousness that I let them go.

_Adult-ing sucks._

"Guys. Seriously. Don't go. You guys can get hurt." Maybe trying to scare them a bit will deter them? But one look at their face of disbelief threw that idea out the window.

Lefty and Righty looked at each other once more. They needed to stop doing their twin telepathy thing. I swear I could see the gears turning in their head.

"Our tou-san left for a mission too, Haru-chan." Lefty's voice seemed a bit more somber now. I definitely did not expect that.

"We…" Righty looked at her sister before looking back at me, "we're going to ask the Mizukage when tou-san is coming back home."

 _Mizukage…Mizu…water…kage… shadow. What. Water shadow? What the hell is a water shadow?_ "Uhh…"

"Oh! Haru-chan, you could also ask the Mizukage about your dad too!"

_Insatiable curiosity. You will be the death of me._

{+}

 _This was such a bad idea. Why did I let them manipulate me?_ Another snarky inner - voice spoke out, _I can't believe you let a bunch of snot faced 4-year-olds best you. Weren't you supposed to be an adult_? Shut up me, you're making me feel bad! _On top of that, you lost sight of them_.

I was very astute it seemed.

As soon as we entered the shopping district, Lefty and Righty just went _crazy._ They were just visiting different stalls, completely immune to the people staring at us. Then they just bolted right out of my vision when a very grumpy looking old man pushed me. Stupid grumpy old man.

I was currently standing in the center of what looked like a shopping strip. The weather and the building were gray, gray, and maybe a lighter shade of black. The building shape was weird as well. It was cylindrical. Was that even efficient? It was also incredibly humid out here. My robe clung to my body, soaking up as much water from the atmosphere as it could possibly carry.

I had been walking around this shopping area for the last hour, I think. Ah, didn't I pass this fruit stand already?

I could feel a growing sense of fear, and frustration welding inside of me. People were _glaring_ at me. Not a glance of curiosity or a look of worry, but actually _glaring at_ me. Why were they glaring at me? What did my family or I ever do to them? I needed to quickly find dumb and dumber soon.

I looked through the crowd. A lot of their clothes were a bit worn out, and the colors of their clothes were muted compared to mine. I was wearing a very clean, very bright, and very _white_ yukata with gold trimmings. _It's almost as if…_ information started to connect together, and I could feel my extremities growing cold.

This looked like a shanty village in general. The majority of the population was probably poor. I looked at another fruit stand, or was it the same one? The fruits were bruised and sickly looking which reflected the people surrounding me. One look at my clothing and people could instantly spot me as a kid from a family who has _something_. There could be someone plotting to use my life for some ransom money right now. My heart started to beat just a tad bit faster. My glances became more frantic. I saw people sleeping on the streets, snuggled right in between the dirty alleyways. They all looked so disheveled, tired, but mostly _hungry._

"Hey, kid…" I started to turn around slowly. Sweat was gathering between my brows. My throat was dry. Multiple images of the crazed junkie killer staring right back at me were flashing in and out of my mind. My breath hitched. I didn't look at the person calling for me. I couldn't look. I was _scared_ to look.

I wouldn't make the same mistake again.

 _Run legs_.

As if I cast a powerful enchantment, I felt a surge of energy rushing forward, circulating like blood in my body. Without a single doubt, I ran as fast as I could.

{+}

I didn't stop running until I felt like I could cough out a lung. I collapsed onto my knees and hands, and I was just trying to breathe, and cough, and spit at the same time – just a whole utter mess. My sides were hurting so badly as if Satan decided to poke my sides with his sharp-ass pitchfork because why the hell not?

When I finally calmed my ragged breath, I took in my surrounding. Forget where Righty and Lefty were, where the hell was I?

Deep breath in.

_I'm outside of the shopping district, that's for one._

Deep breath out.

_Still no signs of Lefty or Righty._

Deep breath in.

_I have no idea where I am._

Deep breath out.

_I'm actually lost._

Deep breath in.

_Ah, fucking hell._

Deep breath out.

I bowed over grabbing my head and just screamed… internally. It took me a ... while to finally calm my little episode down. But once my head started hurting from thinking about all the worst case scenario all at once, I realized I was still on the dirt path. My hands rested on the ground; I didn't remember making any turns. I just ran straight and true, like an idiot mind you, but I could feel a small sliver of hope rising with every breath I took. Perhaps… if I just followed the dirt path back, I could make it to the shopping district, and from there I was pretty confident in finding my way back home. I think.

I finally stood up. There was a small dip of what you could barely call a hill next to my dirt path. At the bottom of the small dip there was a wide river, and just across the large river there were dilapidated houses taking root, and some kids were out staying idle by the river. The water was languidly rolling by, and small ducks were chattering in their little posse. A cool breeze washed over my sweaty body, and I shivered slightly. If I wasn't lost, stressed, or angry, maybe I could appreciate how calming this place seemed. I stood for a couple of minutes, basking in the setting sun and enjoying the small breeze that ruffled through my hair carelessly.

It was amazing how nature could calm your irate feelings. "Well, I better return – screw Lefty and Righty, I'm sure they will be fine," I spoke to no one in particular, nodded once for my own reassurance, and began my long trek back home.

Just as I was about to enter the poor shopping district, I heard a kid shout the word "monster" from behind me. I wasn't thinking much when I looked towards the source of the voice and noticed a small group of kids just down the hill. There were four kids in total. The three kids had their back facing me, and I couldn't really see the fourth kid.

One of the kids, the one with light brown hair tied in a small ponytail grabbed the fourth kid and pushed him to the ground.I had somewhat of a better view of the fourth kid. All I could say was, it was very… blue. Blue hair, blue skin, and well dark blue clothes. First, I knew that blue hair must be a natural occurrence, so I was over that. Also, choosing dark blue clothes… really was clashing with its' … _natural_ skin color? I took a few steps closer towards the group of kids until I could get a better look at _this_ unnatural phenomenon.

_Holy shit._

Was that _thing_ even human? The blue kid looked like some sort of mutant you see from _Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters_! The blue kid's eyes were mostly shaped roundly, and it had these putrid mustard-colored eyes. When it bared its' teeth from the frustration, I almost choked on my own saliva. I could see how sharp and pointed its' teeth were. I squinted my eyes even more; _are those tattoos on its' face?_ It had some weird three black-colored strips on each side of its' cheeks. I wondered if that blue kid had a gender? It looked like a boy because of the short hair, and stature but I could be wrong.

I kept seeing weird unnatural things one after another. Did I go back in time or was I just in a whole different universe?

"Monster! Get away from our village!" This time, a kid with messy dark brown hair spoke out. He looked around his surroundings briefly before he picked up a small pebble and whipped it at the strange looking creature – he missed pitifully. The blue creature was outnumbered clearly, and it was so much smaller than the three bullies.

The sun was setting down quickly now; I needed to get home before it got dark. One more glance at the spectacle in front me and I was ready to turn and leave. What? Did you think that I was going to swoop in and save the day? Let's be honest here. If you were strange looking or if you didn't follow society's perception of normal – then, of course, you would become an outcast. You couldn't be protected from the truth. If anyone told you that you were perfect the way you are, they were lying to you.

"I…" The blue thing finally spoke out loud. It seemed meek from the way its' body shrank back, away from the bullies. It stood up and announced as loudly as it could, "I… I'm not a MONSTER!"

Instantly the three bullies laughed maliciously.

"Hahaha, not a monster? Did you take a look at yourself lately?"

"Yah, yah! You're the only one with the blue skin around here!"

"Your mom probably died after seeing how hideous you are!"

Ouch. Holy shit. These bullies were savage as fuck

It stumbled a small step back, arms crossed, and its' hands splayed out trying to cover as much of its' blue skin.

"You're a monster." The ponytail kid bit out harshly. The finality of his tone and the poorly veiled show of disgust made me feel… not anger, but pain?

 _This is normal._ I weakly rebuked. _If you were truly perfect the way you are…_ My feet were now pointed towards the group of kids. _Then, why would people feel the need to point out your insecurities?_

I took a small step towards the group of kids.

_Your weaknesses._

I started to get back into my normal stride and approached the group of kids with more confidence.

 _Your fears_.

The one kid with dark brown hair and a distinctive mole next to his right eye took notice of my presence first.

_Things you can't change. Things you were born with._

"Oi, what the hell are you doing here? Scram little kid." The kid with the mole gave me this weird squinty look; I suppose that was his best attempt to try to look intimidating?

_Can I say something like the reason why people feel the need to point out your imperfection is because they see their own imperfection reflected back at them and because they hate their reflection, they take out their anger on the unsuspecting victims. Or is that too presumptuous of me?_

There was pressure increasing in my chest. Welling up. Fighting to burst out of my chest cavity. It was only for a moment, but I could recall once upon a time that someone had to come to my rescue when I was bullied. It was a pretty common story. The kid got bullied and was protected by someone who was much better than them in every way.

_"Leave Jade alone! YOU DUNCEHEADS!"_

Her words.

Her voice.

Why did I remember this now?

I looked at the blue kid, _his_ eyes were filled with wariness and curiosity - or perhaps those were my emotions reflecting from his eyes. I felt a bit doubtful now that I made my presence known. _What am I doing here? Why did I intercept?_

It was such a long time ago, and I didn't care to remember the days of when I was bullied. All I could say was that I felt all sorts of negative, and disgusting feelings. I hated everything and everyone. But most of all, I hated myself.

Hated myself for being the way I was.

Hated myself for being weak.

Hated myself for having to look so pitiful that someone felt the need to protect me.

I matched the mole kid's glares with mine, or at least I thought I did. I felt the burning sensation creeping from the edge of my eyes. " _Pathetic_." I managed to hiss out.

But within my ball of hatred, I did distinctly remember this one feeling that washed away all of the negativities brewing inside of me because of that single moment when someone finally stood beside me…

That one feeling of happiness for the fact that I didn't have to fight alone anymore was blissful, sweet, and merciful.


	3. Blue Demon

It was funny how some people could ignore other people's plight, while others would rush in to help without any regards for their welfare. I wouldn't call myself someone who needed to butt into other people's problems every time, but one lesson I always seemed to have trouble learning was that if I kept my head down, I would have a much easier time living my life. So why did I butt in to save this blue kid's bullying problem? What didn't kill you should theoretically make you stronger, or so the saying goes.

" _Jade, h-help me…" her voice echoed in the alleyway._

I blinked away the forgotten memory. It was almost laughable; I really didn't learn, did I?

I looked up to see the three kids towering over me. They were all squinting their eyes and sneering at me to make me feel intimidated, though I thought they just looked quite silly in my opinion. I glanced past the wall of the three bullies to see the blue kid locking his eyes with mine. I couldn't read his expression.

"What did you say? Kid." The kid with a mole stepped forward and puffed out his chest. I almost burst out laughing. Had I been a _real_ three-year-old, perhaps then he would actually _scare_ me. But kids who haven't even experienced the true pain and hardship of life; they seemed really lame for the lack of a better word.

I was not going to lie; I could feel pride swelling in my chest. I haughtily said, "I called you pathetic, do you have ear wax in your ears or something?" Yes, my taunting skills needed some work. It almost felt refreshing; it was like I was taking revenge on all the bullies who bullied me in the past. Those fuckers.

Looking at the kid with the mole's facial expression was absolutely priceless. I saw exactly what he was feeling from the way his eyes widened a fraction and how his lips tightened into a thin line. It was a mix of confusion and irritation. I loved it.

"H-hey. You watch what you say, kid!" The kid with the ponytail took a step forward towards me this time. Seriously, this was starting to feel like a terrible 90s cartoon show of three hooligans bullying nerds in the schoolyard.

"Listen, you guys should find a better hobby. Just leave the kid alone." I shrugged nonchalantly. Just keep cool and calm. A long time ago, during a bullying intervention program, they told my Grade Three class not to aggravate the situation by reacting violently. Kids have a harder time controlling their emotions, so really that advice was useless. But despite my three-year-old body, my mind was that of an adult.

The kid with the mole took another step closer to me. "Listen, kid, if you don't want any trouble, you best just to walk away."

My left eye twitched. This little twerp, did he seriously think threatening me will do any good? "Heh, what are you going to do if I say _no._ " At the end of the day, I realized that it didn't matter if my mind was 30, 40, or even 90-years-old. Due to my physical stature, and my voice, I didn't have any authority.

The next course of action happened in a blur. One moment I was looking smug and trying to be an _adult;_ the next I was on the ground clutching my nose. I hissed in pain. He punched me. Hard.

Tears brimmed my eyes, looming over the edge. Something that was warm and gooey trickled down from my nose. I was shocked; both from the burning pain shooting up my nose and the fact that this kid just punched a three-year-old girl. When Jade was bullied, it was just a shove here and there, and some harsh, mean words, but never anything that drew blood.

"Y-yew…p-punched meh…" My voice was nasally, and I could now feel tears streaming down my face. Every time I swallowed some saliva, I could taste the metallic tang that made my stomach churned.

The kid with a mole crouched down, making sure we were eye to eye. My chest clenched.

_Run._

_Run._

_Hurry._

_Run!_

He grabbed my hair bangs. I yipped in response. I felt a prickling sensation, and I heard each strand of my hair plucked out one by one. "One look at you, and I can tell you're a clan kid." He tugged a fistful of my hair and forced me down to the ground. Droplets of blooming scarlet red started to rain down slowly.

I couldn't get up; rather, I didn't want to get up. I was so stupid; if I ignored the bullies, then this would have never happened.

" _Jade… you… COWARD!" She screamed as I turned my back on her._

Why did _she_ keep popping in my mind? _That's right._ I was a coward. But what was wrong with being a coward? Not everyone could play the hero role. Not everyone was strong. It hurt… my nose, my head… it hurt. Someone grabbed the collar of my robe; instantly I gagged as the collar squeezed my trachea.

"Must be nice. To eat till your stomach is full." I felt another sharp pain in my stomach this time; instantly my mouth released bodily fluids involuntarily.

"O-oi Kenji…Stop. She's a clan kid." Another kid spoke out; I couldn't look to see who was talking this time. My breath grew ragged. My vision was fading in and out of darkness. My hands felt clammy.

"I'm going to teach this bitch a lesson." This Kenji kid tugged the front of my collar this time. I saw his brown eyes. I saw his eyebrows furrowed. I saw a type of smile that should never adorn a kid's face.

"I-it hurts…" I managed to spill out. Where was my pride a few moments ago? Where was my strength that I felt welling inside my chest? This was the real Jade, folks. Useless, cowardice, Jade.

His hand bunched up into a tight fist, and instinctively I closed my eyes. His fist connected with the side of my temple, and I fell to the ground again. It hurt. A lot. I didn't think I had ever been beaten up like this. It hurt. My whole face hurt. My sides hurt. Someone, please save me.

I choked up a sob.

 _Just what the hell are you doing Jade?_ My mind practically screamed at me.

 _Make this all go away, please…_ I pathetically begged inside my mind.

A sharp pain hit my abdomen.

"Ahh!" It was a hoarse scream. Was that my voice?

A sharp pain hit my abdomen once more.

My mouth was open, but no sounds were coming out.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

The pain wouldn't stop.

I felt like I was ready to puke. The world was spinning, and I could smell the earthy soil mixed in with a metallic scent.

 _You're supposed to be Harumi, the brave, young Harumi, who fights for the weak._ My mind mocked me.

I could hear the high pitch ringing in my ears. It was annoying. Go away.

The sharp pain in my abdomen started to dull, and the pain spread throughout my stomach.

"…"

 _Harumi, Jade is dead. Harumi, stand up and fight. Harumi…Harumi…_ A taunting voice, almost as if it was enjoying my pitiful state.

Shut up.

_Harumi, you're supposed to be strong…_

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

_Ha-ru-mi~ Why did you try to help?~_

I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes as tight as I could. No more… No more… I chanted over and over again.

_Useless Ha-ru-mi~_

SHUT UP!

Ah. The ringing noise stopped, and the kid stopped hitting my stomach.

With a resolve that was foreign to me, I commanded my arms to retract towards my body. My palm laid flat to the ground, and I strained my weak wrist to lift my upper body. I could feel some sensation returning to my legs. My head was still heavy, and I fear that my neck couldn't support the sudden weight. My breath ran ragged, and I barely saw clear out of my left eye. The other eye had limited vision as the swelling was forcing it to close.

I had to fight. Those were the only words echoing inside my head.

My lip was busted open; I could feel the cold saliva? Blood? Drip, drip, dripping down my chin.

A scream. A howl. A screech that shouldn't have belonged to anyone within this group. Who was making that awful noise? What was I doing? I was clutching on to someone's shirt.

"Oi, get off me. You're getting your blood all over me!"

I didn't want to let go. I had to fight. But how do you even fight? I just wanted him to stop bringing me pain. I clung onto this kid's shirt as if it was my last life line.

But clinging onto someone's shirt and trying to stop them were two very different stories. In fact, I could only laugh sardonically how ridiculous the scene must have looked: a battered looking young girl clinging and slobbering all over some kid's shirt like a rabid dog.

"Oi, Dai, get this crazy bitch off of me!"

My body was sore. It was in pain. I felt a hit on the back of my head; my grip loosened in response and I unceremoniously flopped to the ground – face first. My eyesight slowly dimmed. I could see small feet wrapped around in some dark colored sandals before everything went black.

Pathetic.

{+}

The moment I sensed my consciousness, I wanted to slap myself to go back to sleep. I felt pain blossoming all over my body. "Ugh…ow…" I forced my eyes opened, and I saw the ceiling spin. I wanted to hurl right then and there.

Wait, a ceiling? Where was I? I looked down and saw my arm bandaged up crudely. One segment around my wrist was super tight, and it slowly got looser until it reached my shoulder where they clearly forgot to tie the ends. My non-bandaged arm slowly reached towards my face; I cringed when the pain shot up and down my arm. I felt one side of my face tightly bandaged up. My chest cavity started to feel like it was closing in and my heart was drumming erratically in my ears. It also didn't help that I had an intense throbbing in the back of my head as well as my forehead.

Where was I? What was I doing? _Where was I?_

My one eye was wildly looking around my surrounding. There was a barred up window with a tattered cloth as a makeshift door. The bed sheet felt rough, and the furnishing in this room was very sparse. This looked like the beginning of every B-rated kidnapping and murder type of movie. Taking one breath in and one breath out, I braced for the pain to come as I attempted to sit up from my bed. The moment I did, the amount of regret I had was just unfathomable. Immediately, my stomach screamed in protest. I hissed out in pain, and I flopped back down to the hard bed that made my stomach protest even harder. I tightly locked up my lips lest I hurl out the entire content of my stomach.

So this is how I was gonna go? My second chance in life, and I was going to die in this abandoned shitty shack.

"What are you doing?" A familiar voice spoke out from the door.

I craned my neck down as far as I could, and the moonlight that peeked from the tattered cloth made my head hurt. I closed my one eye to block the annoying light out.

"fuu sar yoo?" My lips dried, my throat parched, and I sounded like a dying animal. I received silence as my reply, and I guess that made sense considering I didn't even know what the hell I just said.

My one non-bandaged eye slowly opened once more, and it took me a while to focus my sight. The blue kid I attempted to save from the bullies was by my bedside. Did he bring me here? Was he the one who bandaged me up poorly? Seriously, if I moved anymore, the bandages would just unravel off of me.

He knelt by my bedside, and I could hear liquid sloshing as he set his basin down. That sounded like water. My lips and throat screamed for my body to move and drink the entire content in that basin.

I reached for the basin, but the blue kid suddenly grabbed my wrist. His hand easily encircled my wrist; it was warm and soft. Funny, I expected it to be dry and scaly or something. But why the hell did he stop me from getting water? Didn't he see how desperate I was to drink something?

"Wa…wa…" I tried to pronounce the word "water," and I tried to lubricate my dry mouth but it was to no avail, I couldn't produce any saliva. I also couldn't breathe through my nose, so I sounded super nasally.

The soft, warm hand quickly let go of my wrist, and my arm went limp from the sudden loss of support. "S-sorry…" The blue kid softly muttered out. I wondered what he was apologizing for. But at the moment, I wanted water!

"Wa…wa…wa…" I struggled once more; the words clawed down my throat and impeded me to say anything more. I started to cough violently, and my stomach clenched in response. "Ahk!" I squawked from the sudden jab of pain. Something warm oozed down my chin.

"Ca-careful!" A scratchy cloth wiped the fluid off, and I swallowed whatever fluid I produced to lubricate my mouth. It was very viscous and left a bite of a metallic aftertaste. Ah. That was my blood. Those kids went to town with me.

The room began to spin, and immediately I could feel waves of nausea washing over me. I closed my eyes, and a small whimper escaped my throat. My body wouldn't move, and this room was burning up. All in all, this was incredibly unpleasant.

I heard a dull clatter, and my head reacted with a throbbing once more. Something wooden and curved brushed my mouth. The object tilted and something cool splattered my dry lips. It was tasteless, it was hydrating, and it was WATER! I parted my lips and greedily drank the elixir of life before it went down the wrong hole, and I started hacking to try to get rid of the water from my air hole. Like a chain reaction, as soon as I started my mini coughing fit, my stomach reacted, then my ribcage, and then my face. It was just a cacophony of pain.

"Ugh…." God, please kill me now.

I took a steady breath in, wincing as my stomach flexed promising me a world of pain should I decide to breathe a bit deeper than I am now. After a few minutes of my makeshift breathing exercise, my heartbeat started to calm down; I could feel a whisper of a cool breeze stroking my warm cheeks. I could hear the sigh of the running water rolling by outside, and a lone cricket chirping through the night. The world slowly lulled me to sleep. I didn't have to feel pain anymore they said.

"Why did you do that?"

I was instantly sucked back into the world of living and pain. Couldn't the kid see I was physically incapable of making small talk right now? I cracked open my one eye and _tried_ to look annoyed at him. Hopefully, this signaled him that I was not in the mood for a conversation.

The kid in front of me was kneeling, and his eyes were cast down. He drew his lips together, and he looked so small and so _vulnerable_. The way he pulled in his body together looked like he was bracing for some impact. Why did I save him, or tried to help him in the first place again?

"I… never asked for your help. Is there something you want from me?" The kid's voice rose slightly. He sounded angry and offended. What the hell, if anything I should be the one to feel offended! I got beaten up like a rag doll, and _he was_ angry with _me_?

A small pause, and I still couldn't say anything.

"Or are you just stupid?" Ow, my poor heart. I couldn't deny his accusation because what I did was pretty stupid. Damn it!

"I…" My voice sounded scratchy, but I was able to understand the words I was trying to speak, which was a good sign. "Am pretty stupid…" My words delivered slowly and clearly. Though perhaps my word choice could've been better.

"Yah you are! You're just a weak kid! What were you thinking going up against the Mizu Brothers?" The kid instantly chastised me. Man, it seemed all I got from people are lectures these days. Also, _Mizu_ brothers? That was a lame name.

This time, the kid was looking directly at me. His eyes were slanted, and he didn't look too happy with me in the slightest. I couldn't tell if he was worried about me for pulling a stupid stunt, or if he was annoyed that I butted into his affairs.

"Why?" I asked.

"Why what?" He replied.

"Why do… they… pick…on…-" I struggled to finish my sentence. My throat was searing, warning me to stop talking. Maybe I shouldn't ask such a personal question right off the bat.

"Heh." I could see his razor sharp teeth; damn they looked kind of frightening. "It's because I'm different." He stood up suddenly and clenched his hand to form a tight fist. His once dark expression lit up into a bright smile, "But they'll see. I'm going to become one of the _Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist_! Then…" He trailed on to a complete stop, and he looked away from me while he scratched the back of his neck.

I had no idea what the seven majigy ninja thingy was, and I didn't care too much about it to be very honest with you. I let the silence clung on to the air. This was kind of awkward.

The boy cleared his throat and approached closer to my bedside. "Hey," His eyes were downcast again; he seemed to have trouble looking right at me, "You're a clan kid."

"Mhm." I just didn't have the strength to have a conversation here. I could feel my consciousness drifting in and out. I didn't even know why it was such a big deal that I was a "clan" kid. Was my family famous for something? Ah, who cares? Sleep. I wanted to sleep so badly!

"They might start to hurt you." His voice was barely above a whisper.

"Don't… care…" I just wanted to sleep right now, kid.

"How could you not? Look what they did to you! On top of that, you're a clan kid!" This time, his voice raised a couple of decibels way past my comfort hearing range. Ugh, my head was hurting. I wanted to throw up.

"Mhm." I hummed. Let me sleep.

Another period of silence I gladly welcomed.

"They're super scary… and, there's a rumor that Kenji actually killed someone…"

Had I been in a right state of mind, perhaps I could've understood this boy's frustration and curiosity. After all, the fact that a kid could easily beat me to the point where I couldn't move my body as well as hit my head several times to have a concussion – though I didn't know the severity of it was really troubling. I didn't think a kid was capable… rather, should be capable of beating down a small kid like this cruelly. But, right now I just wanted to throw up, and cry, but I was scared of agitating my wounds. I was in a world of hurt, and I could feel the pain numbing away and intensifying again in every short interval.

"…If you didn't butt in, this would've never happened. If you go against him, he can be even more scary…"

Was this kid still going on a rant?

I didn't hate this kid, but he was annoying me. I appreciated his weird way of saying he was worried about a kid he just met, but, seriously, did he not understand that when someone was in pain, sleep was a good remedy?

I placed my hand somewhere on his arm, and I could feel his whole body flinch before he went completely stiff. I guess he wasn't comfortable with physical contact? My hands slid off his arms and hung loosely off the bed.

I shifted my neck a millimeter and winced when my head gave me a warning with a small burst of ache that I should stop moving willy-nilly. After counting to three, I slowly opened my eye once more and looked at the bewildered blue kid. "I'll…be fine…it'll be okay…promise…" I tried my best to smile for reassurance, but I think my smile turned crooked instead.

"Why?"

I didn't understand why this kid seemed not to understand why I helped him. I mean, when that girl defended _Jade_ from her bullies… what did she say again?

" _Because…"_ a _girl with bright eyes and an equally bright smile patted my back._

_..._

"…That's what friends do."

Another space of silence before he scoffed, "We never met each other, how could we be friends?"

"Harumi. Wanna be friends?"

It was funny how his lips parted and closed several times like a gaping goldfish. He finally decided to keep his lips shut, and I could see him biting his bottom lip. I wonder what was going on in this boy's mind?

"…Ok..." His voice wavered slightly.

"Name?" I waited again for his answer. I hope he hurried; my eye was starting to burn for being opened for so long, and my distant throbbing headache was approaching quickly.

"It's…" another pause, "Ao Oni." He finally said his name; his voice held confidence suddenly.

 _Ao… blue… Oni…ogre._ Well, he was blue, and I wouldn't say he looked like an ogre, but he definitely didn't look like your ordinary human. That was a very disheartening name, though maybe that was why the kids were making fun of him - he should think of a name change if that were the case.

I finally closed my eye, enjoying the burning sensation slowly being smothered away. "Ao ...Oni," I repeated after him; my lips curved upwards, "nice to meet –"

I heard a whistle in the air, and something warm showered down on my face. I opened my eye by surprise.

"Ah..." I stared back at Ao Oni's body. I forgot about the pain in my chest. I forgot about the pain in my stomach. I forgot about the pain in my head.

"...Ah..." I scrunched up my nose. I forgot about the pain from my broken nose.

"...Ah..." No words would come out. No energy could be summoned even to scream out properly.

Where was Ao Oni's head?


	4. Twice

I stood up from my bed as quickly as I could. Forgetting about the pain that chained me down in the first place. My feet shuffled erratically trying to move my body as far as I could from the now limp and headless body. The ragged blanket grasped my ankles and rooted me down to my spot.

"Ah…" I whimpered. _Get off me. Get off me!_

The killer approached me. Their face was covered with a cloth; I saw their inky black eyes staring down at me.

"…No…" I glanced at the dead boy's body just behind the killer's looming figure. His head was missing. There wasn't enough light for me to closely look at his dead body in detail, nor did I really want to. "N…No…" My hand reached towards my face, and I felt something cool and slimy masking my skin. My hand trembled, and fresh warm tears spilled out.

"A… ah… AHHHHHH!" Without a moment's warning, a sharp pain cut through my trachea. The burning pain was intense, the pain, the pain, oh the pain, I had never felt such a pain like this in my life.

Darkness consumed the world. The killer and the boy's body were no longer in the realm of black with me.

My second life really didn't last that long, did it? Fate must really enjoy fucking around with me.

I felt a presence behind me. As soon as I turned, a bright light assaulted my sight.

{+}

As soon as I opened my eyes, I saw the world of gray. When my vision finally focused, there were rows of vendors and stalls stretched across the road. People meander about, and murmurs of blank words filled the street.

I checked for the deep gash in my throat that surely should have been there.

_Smooth._

My neck showed no evidence of any deep laceration.

Looking down at my robe, it was clean of any dirt and blood. Was this all a dream? A premonition?

Fiddling with my smooth neck, my fingers trembled. It felt _so_ real. No. It _must've_ been real. I could still remember the pain. I took a sharp intake of breath and shut my eyes as tightly as I could. _It wasn't real._ I tried to assure myself. _It wasn't real_. I weakly reassure myself.

I sucked at lying it seemed

How long have I stayed in the middle of the road? People gave me a short glance, but then they quickly looked away soon after. Everyone walked around me as if I was parting the Red Sea. No one even tried to approach a lone three-year-old girl. I wanted someone to help me. I wanted someone to reach out their hands and make sense of this situation for me!

But, the only thing that accompanied me was this damn humidity and the occasional stares as if I was some sort of pariah.

 _Come on Jade_. _Get ahold of yourself! You're a grown 32-year-old woman for God's sake!_

I looked around me. It was the same shopping district the twins have taken me to. Also to my dismay, the twins were nowhere in sight. My arms crossed my chest. I felt some comfort from this position.

I really died, didn't I?

…

It made sense. After all, Jade technically died and was reborn as Harumi. But shouldn't Harumi… shouldn't _I_ be reborn again as a baby? This was so fucked up. Nothing made sense.

My stomach churned, images started to flash in my mind. Even when I closed my eyes to shut this damn world out, memories still continued to flood in.

Flashes of the dark figure. Flashes of Ao Oni's body. Flashes of the drug addict that smelled like piss.

Flashes and flashes of memories.

Flashes of my father leaving me.

Flashes and flashes.

Endless loops of pictures of different people recalled in mind.

My knees finally buckled from the mental duress.   _Just what the hell was going on?_

I couldn't swallow the small whimper escaping from my lips. I wanted to cry out, but I couldn't, _I shouldn't_. It was bad enough that I was attracting attention as is. I bit my bottom lip _hard_ and finally stood up. I could only bitterly think; if I had never left my home, this would've never happened.

I should've just gone back home.

Forget about the twins.

A killer is on the loose!

Forget about Ao Oni.

He should be fine. I hope.

Looking ahead, I didn't care much for the strangers that were _still_ staring at me as they walked by. I had a new goal in mind, which was trying to retrace my steps back home.

That's right. It was better to go back home. My home was a  _safe_ place _._

…

Why did Ao Oni's face suddenly appeared in my mind, I wondered?

I wasn't a hero.

I remembered the bullies taunting Ao Oni.

I was weak.

Images of Ao Oni's head missing from his body haunted me.

My stomach flipped in response.

I was standing still, in the middle of the road, once again.

 _What am I doing? Why, why can't I just run away? Jade would've been over the hills by now. Come on Harumi! Aren't you scared? Dying is scary. Dying is painful._ My mind tried to reason with me.

I suddenly remembered Ao Oni's hardened face softened when I offered him my friendship.

 _"Harumi. Want to be friends?"_ _I asked him while trying my best to smile despite the pain._

_His lips parted slightly, but he quickly closed them as soon as he was aware. Even though he was biting his bottom lips, I remembered seeing a small faint smile tugging the corner of his lips._

_"…ok" his voice wavered slightly._

What was this feeling? It was that same force that compelled me to save Ao Oni… well _tried_ to save Ao Oni from his bullies. The sense of what? I didn't know. Justice? Of wanting to be a hero? I couldn't even explain it myself. But my body, my heart, and my mind, they were all telling me different things. I knew that I wasn't very smart. I knew that I could be apathetic. Yet, I was a champion when it came to acting on my emotions. Whether it was for good or for bad.

Even though I was weak, maybe I could warn Ao Oni to be careful at the very least? I would go home as soon as I could after that.

With a baseless confidence and resolve, my body mechanically turned an 180, and I headed outside of the shopping district.

A sudden heavy pat fell on my left shoulder. I looked down to see a burly, hairy hand resting comfortably on me. "Hey, Kid…" That voice sounded familiar. I knew I heard it before, somewhere.

"Sorry, mister. I'm sort of in a hurry." I turned around, and I met with his broad thighs. I looked upwards and saw his unkempt face. Instinctively, I took a step backward.

"What's the rush? Kid."

I took another step backward. My stomach clenched. Something hot was burning inside of me.

He reminded me of Jade's drug addled killer.

"I…" I paused mid-sentence before I quickly spun to run away from him. But my short legs were no matched for an adult. He easily caught my forearm. His grip tightened.

It stung.

"Come on, my dear daughter. No more playing outside. Let's go home to mommy, alright?"

His acting was painfully shallow. I tried to struggle against his grip.

"Ngh…Ngh… let go of me, you creep!"

It was for naught. He took his other arm and lifted me up with ease.

He smelled like sweat.

I struggled some more, but it wasn't enough. He covered my face onto his left shoulder. My lips were pressed tightly against his shoulder.

"Mmfm… mmfmm!" I desperately cried out. Why wasn't anyone doing anything about this?

My heart started to beat rapidly. What should I do? What should I do?

I was such an idiot. How could I possibly save Ao Oni, when I couldn't even save myself?

Looking back. I wondered why I didn't scream or make a commotion right away? There were so many things I could've done. Damn, my dull-witted brain! My last ingenious plan was to bite as hard as I could on his shoulder. It didn't even reach his flesh. He chortled lightly.

My last ounce of hope slipped through my fingers.

I was doomed. I was getting kidnapped. This was a kidnapping. No. No. No. No. No. No.

I struggled.

And struggled.

And struggled.

It didn't matter.

No. No. No. No. No. No.

My body finally got tired of all the futile fighting. I could feel tears trickling down my face. This body of mine was too weak.

"Finally given up huh?" The kidnapper's dark voice echoed through my head. My body started to tremble; I didn't say anything. He finally dropped me to the hard floor. I looked around. We were encased between two tall gray buildings. Looking ahead, I could see people going about their own business. Yet it seemed so far out of reach like I had entered another world.

"You can try to scream. Come on. Scream. Scream!"

I swallowed a small sob. He was a crazy sonuvabitch.

"Even if you _did_ scream, no one would save you anyways" He sing-song his words. "No one will even bother. It's. Useless." Enunciating the last word, his eyes morphed into a half-crescent shaped. His grin grew wide, wider than the _Cheshire cat from Alice in the Wonderland_. "I wonder how much you will go for?" He pondered out loud.

My voice lost.

"Oy, Kid. You understand what's happening right?"

I nodded slowly.

"Ehhhh…" He sighed. He brought out a knife from his bag. My stomach felt compressed.

His knife was curved, and the handle was caked with a substance that was dark reddish brown. "It's no fun when my prey doesn't at least give me a small fight." He was whining like a kid who couldn't buy candy from the candy store. He was acting as if this whole situation was completely normal to him!

I gulped and finally found my lost voice. "Mister, you're crazy. Maybe you should get your head checked." Not the brightest thing to say to a potential killer. Stupid, stupid me!

He stared at me. He stared and stared and stared.

Then he laughed. He laughed and laughed and laughed. He clutched his stomach and laughed some more. His laughter felt slimy; I could feel goosebumps running down my arms.

As soon as I blinked, I felt something whizzed right past me. Milliseconds later, a thud resounded the empty alleyway. I felt a small sting across my cheek. Then I felt something wet dripped down from my chin to my hand. I looked down. It was red.

"Before I sell you. Let's have some fun, shall we? I'll make sure to take it nice and slow." His voice lost all its' previous pseudo mirth.

He took out a cigarette from his pocket. He lit it up and took a big drag from it. My eyes watered as he blew the smoke at me. He grabbed my hand harshly; it didn't matter if I put up any resistance. "So smooth…" As his rough, callused hand molested me, I shivered in disgust. _Stop touching me!_

Without any warning, he pressed his lit cigarette on the palm of my hand.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

I screeched. It was hot. So hot. But the hot temperature was replaced with a sharp piercing pain. He wouldn't stop. He wouldn't let go. My whole body squirmed. But his grip on my hand wouldn't budge. I could feel my skin blistering, burning, exploding, and pulsing. Thousands of nerve endings were being ripped apart and scorched off.

"STOP! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!"

He twisted the lit cigarette, swirling, and swirling around. My nails were grasping his wrist. I dug my nails into him, trying to rip away his flesh bit by bit to stop the pain.

What felt like hours, which were mere seconds; he finally let go. I quickly retracted my hand towards my chest, trying in vain to shield it from more assault. It hurt. I looked down to see my once pale hand seared with a black and red mark. I could smell the charred meat.

"Uuu… uuu…." I didn't know how to cry.

"It's unfortunate. If you weren't a clan kid, maybe you could've lived your life as a whore."

"Uuu…uuu…" I wanted to scream, but something was stopping me.

"Tell me, kid. Have you ever endured any hardship? Is this your first time feeling pain?"

"Wh-why… what does it matter if I'm a clan kid…" My voice was thick with tears. I was sick and tired of people throwing the damn word _clan kid_ as if that was the greatest sin committed in this damn, fucked up world.

Another raucous laughter. "It's because of you high almighty clans that all the lower class scums have to suffer."

I didn't understand. _I didn't understand_. How was that my fault? This guy was taking his anger on a kid because of some stupid politics? Clutching my injured hand tightly, I stood up as quickly as I could and ran away from him.

"That's a dead-end kid."

My goal wasn't to run away, as much as fight back from this crazy kidnapper. He threw away his weapon, and I could only hope to God, he wasn't carrying another weapon on him. With all my strength I grabbed the knife he previously threw, and I pulled it out of its' temporary sheath. Well, at least, I _tried_ to. I used my whole weight to pull out the knife, but it was really lodged tightly into this stupid wooden plank. "Hnnggghh…." Come on. Get out. Get out. GET OUT!

I could feel him right behind me. His hand easily covered my small hands, and he pulled the dagger out with ease. I fell backward as soon as he let go. He looked down at me, anticipating my next moves. I grabbed the wooden handle as tightly as I could. Quickly scurrying away from him, after leaving some appropriate distance between us, I got up and pointed the knife towards him.

"Ho… what are you going to do with that now?"

"I… I'm going to … get away from you!" My tongue slipped and stumbled over my words. My knife was quivering, it wouldn't stay straight and still. No. It was actually my whole body that was shaking.

"Have you ever killed someone?"

I clenched my jaw.

He grabbed the blade, and his hand drew blood. The blood started to run down the blade, down the handle, and finally onto my hands. It was warm. It was thick. I cringed in disgust. Instantly, my grip on the handle loosened.

His hand gently pried the dagger out of my hand. He was right. I never killed a man before. I never killed anyone or anything before. Even if I have the knife, how do I kill someone? Where do I even stab? If I stabbed him, would he instantly go down?

I looked down at my hands, now covered in his blood. It was useless. He was going to torture me, and I was going to be sold as a slave.

I looked at the man who now owned my life. "Tou-san…Kaa-san…" I attempted to draw their faces in my mind. _I want to see them again._

Even if the end was inevitable, I still wanted to fight.

Looking back at his cruel face, knowing that he must be enjoying the fact that he could easily overwhelm me, I still wanted to fight back. Let me get the satisfaction of punching that stupid mug at least once.

With a battle cry, I charged at him. He easily stopped my whole force with just ONE hand. I quickly grabbed his hand and bit it as hard as I could. My fangs sunk into his skin. It tasted salty. Gross.

He didn't budge. He didn't scream. He didn't even _flinch._

"Oy, Kid. Do you really value your life?"

My jaw slackened.

"Human teeth can easily bite through their own bones. They can easily tear away the flesh."

That's right. My inhibition, my fear, my peaceful life, all dulled my senses to attack someone to the death. But wasn't that normal? Was it normal to fight to the death? The thought of tearing away someone's flesh, the idea of breaking their bones, I couldn't ever do that to someone. That's normal, right?

Even in the face of danger, I couldn't even fight back. I was frustrated. Frustrated by my own weakness. Frustrated that I couldn't even fight to save my life.

"The only thing I see…" He examined my bite mark. "Is a cute play bite from a puppy."

What _could_ you do in this situation? When you were weak. When you were powerless. When you couldn't even fight back. What could you possibly do?

I cried. Again. Cried, in hopes that he would take pity on a pathetic whimpering girl.

The fact that he could do whatever he wants to me did not strike fear in me as much as the fact that he was a monster who truly, genuinely enjoyed another person's suffering. As he crouched down to my eye level and watched me cry, his eyes gleamed as if he was in a euphoric state.

I closed my eyes, trying to block my thoughts from acknowledging my dire situation.

I didn't see what happened next. All I knew was that I was suddenly lying down on the dirty sewage smelling floor. My chest was burning. I couldn't breathe. It was painful.

 _It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts._ My mind wanted to scream.

I wheezed in for some air. My chest was still burning. Was he burning my chest? My eyesight was growing foggy. The pain came in waves. I could feel the tips of my fingers and toes growing colder.

_It hurts. It hurts. It hurts._

_Someone make the pain go away. Someone. Please!_

I couldn't even shout out.

I couldn't even scream in pain.

The worst part wasn't the dying. It was the fact that you had to wait until you could feel each part of your body shutting down one by one.

No. The worst part wasn't being dead. The dead didn't feel any pain. The dead didn't have any worldly thoughts. Of course, these were all matters of my personal opinions. I was sure everyone had different opinions on the concept of death. But to me…

The worst part was…is…and probably will always be, the _waiting._ Waiting and Waiting and Waiting.

As if you are in this endless cycle of feeling the pain and then the nothingness.

I would never wish this experience upon anyone.

My eyelids felt heavy. I think I fell in some puddle. Was there even a puddle here to begin with? It was warm. Ah… I'm starting to feel cold. So cold.

"Fuck! Who the fuck did that?" The crazy guy bellowed and his voice echoed through the alleyway.

It was the last thing I had heard before darkness embraced me once more.

{+}

I opened my eyes. The same gray. The same shopping strip. I looked down to see my hand unmarred from any injuries. I touched my chest. No pain. No burning. I looked down to see my robes. Clean. Immaculate. Spotless.

Even though my body was okay, my hand traveled to my neck and slid down to my chest. I still remembered the burning sensation. I still recalled the fear that chilled my very core. The worst part was being consumed by darkness, not knowing whether I would be in that limbo state forever or would move on to the next realm.

My lungs were starting to feel a bit confined. I couldn't get enough air into my body. I needed air for my brain. I needed air for my heart. I could feel my body growing cold, yet I was sweating. My hands wouldn't stop shaking. I felt like my space was slowly shrinking. The air felt heavy. I'm going to get crushed by this world's gravity at this rate. I'm going to die.

 _No. No. You're alive, Harumi. You're alive._ A futile reassurance at best was what I could only do.

I took a deep breath in. I could feel my diaphragm expanding. My lungs are filled with oxygen. _I have air. I can breathe. I can live._ I chanted like it was my mantra. Oxygen was flowing into my brain. I could think. I could think about this situation. _Calm down. Harumi._

Raising my juddering hand, I bit my index finger lightly.

All of my deaths were led by another's hand. Was it possible that I could only come back alive when someone else killed me? Wouldn't that make me super invincible?

It was weird. Yes, I was still a little freaked out. But receiving this supernatural power was kind of overpowered in a sense. But even so, I still didn't want to die. It sucked that I had to die to even have this power to activate. I shouldn't test the extent of this power either. There were too many unknown variables. Even though my death triggered this power, I didn't know if the circumstances of my death needed to be specific. Did it follow a certain rule? Did I have a set amount of life points? (Like in a video game for instance?)

My hands finally stopped shaking. My heart started to thrum at a slower pace. The air around me felt a bit lighter. Taking another slow breath in, I couldn't help but thought perhaps I had a greater purpose in this world. Maybe I had to save this world or some crap. I scoffed at my own idiocy. _Yea right. As if I could even save this world, when I already died two times in this world! That's already twice as many times I've died compared to others! Three times, if I counted Jade's death._

Sighing in defeat, I turned towards the path that I think was the right way home. Instantly, I spotted the crazy bastard who found way too much amusement in my torment. I couldn't forget that grin. Nor could I ignore the cold sweat running down my spine. I think our eyes met.

No. It definitely did. Fear seized me momentarily, but I quickly shook it off. I was not going to let him capture me again! Before my brain commanded my body, my legs moved on its' own accord.

I ran.

I ran as far as I could away from him. Scenery blurred past me. My heart started to beat quickly and loudly. I could feel the thumping in my ears. A surge of warm energy enveloped my legs and I could feel my stomach churning.

It was pathetic. The moment I saw this crazy man, my mind started to race. Everything was so confusing. How did I die the second time? What was happening? Dammit! DAMMIT!

What should I do? What could I do?

Why the hell was I running outside of the shopping district? If I didn't save Ao Oni, I might be able to save myself. I wouldn't have to die. I wouldn't have to feel pain.

I finally stopped before my lungs exploded from overexerting myself. My robe wasn't doing a good job of keeping me cool. The humidity didn't help either.

When I finally took in my surrounding, I saw the blue kid scavenging in the river. I couldn't forget that blue skin, the blue hair, or the navy blue outfit. He must really like the color blue.

I looked left and then right. No bullies in sight.

The moment I saw him, something warm and fuzzy clutched my chest. He treated my wounds. He took care of me. Even though he never asked for help, I totally just butted in and ended up owing him a debt instead.

 _Harumi. Are you going to be a person who will let their debt go unpaid?_ My heart asked me.

He was just a kid dammit. To die that young, that's…unfair. I must have this power for a reason, right? I stared down at my hand unmarred by any _hardship or pain._ If I have the power to save someone, shouldn't I use it? It's only natural, right?

 _Harumi. You're not a coward anymore. Jade is. But not Harumi._ I took some comfort of my own self-confidence slowly rebuilding itself.

I slowed down my breath, and my heartbeat mirrored my breathing pace. Calling out on my non-existent courage, swallowing down the fear of uncertainty, I finally cried out his name, "Ao Oni!" I wonder why my chest felt lighter right now. It was the same feeling from when I attempted to save him from the bullies.

He stopped moving his arms. He stood up straight.

Ah, the reason for this feeling was probably because this was the first time I was acting based on what I wanted. Outside of my fear. Outside of my apathy. I could only wonder… if I acted like how I was now when I was still Jade… I wonder…

My chest ached slightly before the bitterness swept through my mouth. Unwanted memories plagued my mind. I quickly shook my head in hopes to push down my bitter memories back. Remembering _her_ is not the time for that!

"Oy." His voice was curt, and a bit…angry?

He finally turned, and I stumbled back a step. His face was contorted while barring his sharp teethes.

"Ao…oni?" My voice went quieter.

"Do you want to die?"

Eh? What was happening?

"Uhm…" I was at a loss for words.

His feet sloshed through the river until he was finally out.

"How dare you call me by that name?"

Huh?

"If a little twerp like you ever call me by that name again." He approached me; his pupil dilated. His eyes reminded me that of a predator. He was finally less than an arm's length away from me. "I'll kill you." His voice was just above a whisper.


	5. Debts

Ao Oni glared at me.

I could only dumbly stare back.

This was the same Ao Oni I met right?

"A-ao Oni," I tried again, "You are Ao Oni, right?" Fear gripped me painfully. Could it be possible that Ao Oni truly died that time?

"I said…" He started off with a quiet murmur. Faster than my eyes could react, he grabbed the collar of my robe. "MY NAME ISN'T AO ONI!"

His eyes turned dark, lurking angrily in his eyes, but also a hint of…sadness? Despite baring his fangs at me, it looked like he was almost grimacing in pain more than anything else.

I was confused, to say the least. I died. Twice. Mind you. I know I died. Then I suddenly got transported to the shopping district after darkness had enveloped me.

But…

I sort of wished Ao Oni remembered me. I wished someone could shed light in to my situation.

"D-don't you remember?" blurting out, my heart was speaking faster than my brain could react. "I'm Harumi!" My proclamation did nothing as he only gave me a blank stare in response.

"Uhm… Uhm..." My eyes scanned everything besides Ao Oni who was in front of me. I shouldn't lose heart now! "The bullies… you know the bullies? I helped you with them, and, and then I got pretty beat up, and…" My lips wouldn't stop moving. "I know that it's confusing right now since I'm not hurt anywhere, but, but-" His grip loosened around my collar.

I wanted to know if perhaps he came back to life too. But maybe he was still dazed which was why he might have reasoned that his death was just a bad dream?

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, you see, don't you remember me?" My voice was spoken softly. Hesitation. Insecurity. Doubt. Pleading.

I hated it.

"I never met you before in my life."

It was a simple sentence. It was a truthful sentence I'm sure. But…

It still hurt.

"A-ah…" Gaze cast down, I felt utterly disappointed and defeated.

Silence wedged itself tightly between the two of us.

Just what the hell was going on? I was starting to doubt if he really was the same kid I met before.

"Anyways," He started, "I-I warned you to not call me by that name."

"S-sorry." I meekly replied.

The heat started to rise up to my cheeks. What am I doing here? I should've just gone home, I softly berated myself. I probably looked like a crazy kid to him.

Turning on my heels, I was about to leave before I noticed the three …what did Ao Oni call them again? Something…brothers?

"Uhm…" I turned back to see Ao Oni walking back to the river to do whatever he was doing before. "He-hey!" I didn't know what to call him, and I think he hated me now for calling him Ao Oni. Even though technically the first time I met him, he told me to call him by that name.

"What?" He snapped at me before his eyes widened a fraction. He probably noticed the three bullies in the distance as well. "Shit!"

He was about to turn away, but he suddenly looked back at me. Clicking his tongue for a small "tch," he grabbed my wrist, and we ran.

"He-hey! Isn't that Ao Oni?" One of the brothers noticed us.

"Who's the kid with him?" Another one spoke out loud.

We didn't turn back; our only goal was to run away as quickly as possible.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going?" Another kid, I think the kid with the mole was shouting at us. But his voice grew fainter as we left them behind.

{+}

I've been doing a lot of running recently. My legs were starting to kill me, and it was painful to breathe. Then again, I was surprised at my own stamina reserve. If I was still in Jade's body, I'm sure I wouldn't be able to run as long or as fast as Harumi's body was able to.

Ao Oni's grip didn't loosen around my wrist.

We kept running.

My hair was wildly riding with the wind. I could hear our ragged breathing and our feet pounded against the dirt path.

Leaving the street with dilapidated houses behind, we entered a small forested area with a small creek running through.

My left foot hit something, but just before I fell, my other hand reached towards Ao Oni's collar.

"Guk!" He gagged.

"Ack" I could see the ground approaching closer and closer to my face.

A small sting was spreading across my forehead. "Owie…"

"Oy! What the hell was that for?!" Ao Oni quickly got up and brushed his clothes off of any traces of dirt.

I tried to get up as well, but my knobby knees were pretty banged up. I looked down; my left knee was red and that was definitely going to bruise. My right knee, there was a pebble lodged tightly into it. "Ewww…." I squeamishly tried to pick off the pebble. As soon as I did, a rivulet of blood started to flow from the small gash.

My white robe was stained with blood again.

Maybe wearing a white robe was a bad idea. Considering the amount of bleeding I'm doing, maybe wearing red clothes would be an optimal choice. You know, at least it wouldn't look stained. I morbidly joked with myself.

One thing for sure, dying doesn't improve one's sense of humor.

"You clumsy brat!" Ao Oni looked down at me. I didn't say anything, since technically, it was my fault. Ao Oni paced back and forth, biting his thumb.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

Until finally, he stopped and glared at me, "You owe me."

"Eh?" Did I owe him? Owe him what?

He stuck out his hand in front of me and morphed it into a peace sign. "You owe me twice."

Wait, wait, wait! If anything, _he_ owed me! For saving him from the bullies… well, technically, I did get beat up and he nursed me. But, I died…or at least I think I died, two gruesome deaths, and still came to see him in order to warn him!

I inwardly sighed. Of course, there was no way I could tell him about my supposed "death." Plus he didn't even remember meeting me.

Then again…I pinched my cheeks, hard. "Owwww…"

Ao Oni raised his left eyebrow, "What the hell are you doing?"

I rubbed my sore cheeks. I think I read it in a book somewhere that if you were in a dream, you can't feel pain…but then again…I face palmed myself.

I did feel pain from both deaths, and even now my knees were sore. I didn't really need to pinch my cheeks at all actually. Ugh, I'm an idiot.

"Are you an idiot?" He asked, mirroring my thoughts to my dismay.

Ah shit. I forgot he was still here! "Ahaha," I laughed nervously, "Sorry about that. You know, falling, and stuff." My awkward sentence sent one of his eyebrows to rise even higher. Geez, I didn't think that was even physically possible.

He gave a weary sigh that suited an old man. "Anyways, you owe me twice."

"F-for what?" I could feel my eyes twitching, who does this kid think he is? Cheeky little brat.

"For what, you ask?" He crossed his arms and gave me a smug grin. "One," he uncrossed his arms and raised his index finger in front of my face. "For saving you from the Mizu brothers."

Ah right. That was their name.

What a lame name.

"Two," he continued on, he raised his middle finger next, "for treating your wound."

My eyes widen slightly, "You remembered?" My lips were stretched across my cheeks.

"Huh?"

"You just said, for treating my wounds. You remembered meeting me before!"

He gave a loud dramatic sigh. "Listen kid. I think you got the wrong person here. We never met before."

My whole demeanor sagged. "O-oh…" But then my face perked up when I remembered one of the bullies calling him by the name Ao Oni. "But one of the brothers called you Ao-" I immediately corrected myself as soon as his face cringed in distaste, "Erm, you know, the name you told me not to call you by…" I ended weakly.

"That's…" He rubbed the back of his neck; he was looking away from me.

Something was tugging in my chest. I didn't like the face he was making. I didn't like the way his eyes looked so distant. "Sorry!" I blurted out.

He looked back at me in surprise.

"I guess, I really did get the wrong person after all." I gave him a small smile; this name brought him a lot of pain. That much was obvious. I tried to stand up, but my right knee shot me a signal to stop moving. I obeyed by falling back onto my butt. "Owie…"

He sighed for the nth time. He lifted my right arm and put it around his shoulders. My body was starting to get lighter, and I put the remainder of my weight onto my left leg. "Can you walk?"

"I-I think so." _Ah shit_ , my heart was beating loudly. _Get a hold of yourself, Jade. You're being a creep. He's just a kid. A kid!_ But it had been a while since I physically interacted with someone like this. It took me some time to get used to Harumi's parents hugging me and kissing me too.

Ah, I see.

I could feel mock tears growing in my eyes, could it be that my lack of physical interaction when I was Jade somehow reverted me back to my awkward pre-pubescent teenager years? The horror.

"Are you alright?" His voice snapped me out of my own stupid stupor.

"Ah yes!" My voice was unusually high-pitched, "Totally, totally fine!"

He gave a small scoff, "You're such a weird kid."

"Ah-ha…I guess I am!" I laughed sheepishly, which probably made me look even weirder.

"Anyway, you ready?"

"Yup. Yup. Totally ready. 100%. Let's go!" Ah, please, someone shut me up!

It was a very painfully quiet and awkward walk back to his home.

Ah…I'm so lame.

{+}

His shed, I mean, his home, was very…shitty.

I mean, he didn't have a door or proper windows. We walked into his one room home, and I recognized the barred down windows with two planks of wood. I also remembered the bedraggled looking rag covering his entrance improperly.

"Sit." Ao Oni ordered.

I limped towards his very memorable, and very uncomfortable cot. Yup. The same scratchy blanket was still here.

A small wooden box was set next to my legs. I looked up from the blanket, and I suddenly saw him missing his head. I rubbed my eyes, and the grotesque image disappeared. It was replaced with Ao Oni dressing my knee with some sort of linen cloth.

If I remembered correctly, the killer came in the middle of the night. I swallowed a thick lump that was stuck in my throat painfully; the sun was already setting.

My body started to tremble.

"Does it hurt?" His voice was soft, and his face showed concern. I wonder what face he made when he treated my wounds after the bullies beaten me up.

I shook my head, "No, it doesn't hurt anymore." My eyes met with his, "Thank you." I gave him a small smile of gratitude.

His bandaging job still sucked. The bandage on the top part of my knee was wrapped tightly, but it started to get looser around the end. I chuckled lightly, remembering Ao Oni's first bandage job with my arm when I first met him.

I'm confident.

I'm confident that this kid was the same kid that I met the very first time. Also, he was the only blue kid I've seen so far. So, that was a thing too.

He rubbed the back of his neck, and his eyes were cast downwards. I could see a small tint of pink brushing the tips of his ears.

"Now you only owe me one favor."

"Huh?"

"The first favor was repaid when you told me about the Mizu brothers coming my way."

"Huh?" I said again.

What a shitty payback. I mean, Ao Oni saved me from the Mizu brothers. They would definitely not show me any mercy the second time around.

His words were suddenly rushed, "I mean. People normally wouldn't help complete strangers, you know without anything in return. So, your first debt was repaid."

"Oh…"

"But! You still owe me for treating your knee!"

"Okay, what do you want?" I asked.

He took a deep breath, and his voice was back to normal. "Why is a clan kid all the way out here?"

"Huh?" I did not expect him to ask me a question. He could've asked for anything really. I mean, I was sure if I went home and told my parents about how Ao Oni helped me out, he could've asked for money or something.

What a weird kid.

"You owe me. And I've decided to ask a personal question."

In the end, I didn't really lose anything. I giggled, the way he stared at me with such a sincere seriousness, it didn't fit his physical stature. It was…cute.

"What's so funny?"

"Sorry, sorry," my giggles turned into a full blown out laughter, "aha ha ha, just…" I tried to control my laughter. After a few seconds, I wiped away a stray tear from the corner of my eyes. "You're really weird yourself."

"What?"

"You could've asked for anything, and you just asked me one question. It doesn't seem like a fair trade is all."

His cheeks reddened a bit, "I-information is important you know!"

I finally got out the last ounce of my laughter, and I started to twiddle my thumbs. A lot had happened. But if I were to just simplify it, the reason why I was even out here in the first place…was…

I closed my eyes.

I remembered my own resolve from before.

_I want to save Ao Oni._

Opening my eyes, I saw Ao Oni staring at me intensely.

"Ah, I just wanted to explore, and I got lost!" Laughing, to cover up my real reasons because at this point it seemed almost stupid. Save Ao Oni? Was I daft? How could I possibly save him? He didn't remember me. He didn't even know me.

It almost seemed pointless now to be here.

Ao Oni continued to stare. I started to feel nervous under his intense gaze until he finally broke the awkward still air. "I see."

Eh? "Th-that's it?"

He cocked his head to the left, "What do you mean?"

"You're not going to ask why I wanted to explore or stuff?" I mean, if that was all it takes to repay a favor, wasn't he being a little too forgiving? People would easily take advantage of him if he let himself get the shorter end of the stick.

"Should I?"

"Uhmm…" That was not the response I was expecting.

"You should leave now." His voice was so monotonous. It lost all the energy and the childishness from before.

"Wha-"

"You repaid your debt, so you can leave now."

He wasn't wrong, but that was kind of sudden. "But -" I started before he cut me off.

"There's one thing that I absolutely hate in this world." He glared at me with so much malice and fury, "Liars." He turned his back towards me. "Leave."

"I didn't li-"

He glanced back over his shoulder. His eyes were a murky yellow with the encroaching darkness invading his eyes. "What? That you didn't lie?"

"Ya-"

"I can generally tell when someone lies."

I blinked in response.

"The way you hold yourself, the way your eyes shift. Even if your words are a lie, your body generally tells the truth."

I did not expect him to be this astute.

He continued on, "You're not the first one to lie to me, and you won't be the last."

I didn't know why. I shouldn't let this bother me. I mean, it wasn't like I really owed him anything. I could've saved my ass. I didn't need to come all the way here just to warn him! Yet, yet, he was treating me like the bad guy? What the hell!

"Well, you're wrong." I blurted out before I stopped myself. I didn't need to care. Besides, it shouldn't be his business as to why I was out here in the first place.

Step by step. It was getting harder to close the gap between us. It was getting harder to tell him that there was someone who was going to kill him. Blinded by my worthless pride, I couldn't step down.

"Oh?" His voice sounded so condescending.

"I didn't lie." I tried again. My voice started to falter.

"Tch." he snorted. "At least try to believe in your own lie."

Body stiffening, I couldn't even look into his eyes.

_I want to save you._

_I'm scared._

_There's someone who is out there to kill you._

_I'm scared._

_I didn't mean to leave my house._

_I'm scared._

_I don't belong here._

_I'm scared._

_**I want to save you.** _

Ah, crap. I couldn't say any of this stuff. It was embarrassing, and it was just going to make me look like an even bigger liar. But…

I clenched my hands into a tight fist. _Come on Harumi. Take courage. You're here for a reason! Move forward! Move forward!_ But instead, my legs took a step back away from Ao Oni and a wave of pain popped from my right knee. I saw the crudely bandaged leg.

Even though we met by accident, he still helped me out on two separate occasions. If he didn't abandon me, am I really the trash that abandons others?

"If I…" My voice was wavering. I took a deep breath. "If I told you the truth, you wouldn't believe me."

He quirked his left eyebrow and said, "Try me."

My hands started to feel a bit clammy. What should I say? "Uhm…" How do I even word _'someone is gonna kill you'_ without seeming suspicious or weird? "Uhm, I…" I put my hand on my chest to calm down my erratic heartbeat. "There's someone-"

I couldn't finish my sentence. My back suddenly hit the floor. I shut my eyes in reflex from the sudden impact. "Ugh…ow…"

Ao Oni was on top of me, and his eyes were scanning the room. "Ao…"

"Come on!" He quickly stood up and clamped his hand around my wrist while pulling me fiercely towards him.

There was a small hole just behind his cot; I would've definitely never noticed that small exit. "Hurry!" His voice was hushed, but I could hear the urgency in his tone. I was still in a bit of a dazed. Not knowing what the hell was going on, I quickly got to my knees and squeezed past the small hole. After I got out, Ao Oni soon followed me. He grabbed my hand again, and we began to run into the thicket of the woods.

_What's happening? What's happening?_

As we ran, the crescent moon greeted us from atop of the trees. It was nighttime.

_It was nighttime._

I could feel my breath hitched, and my legs started to pump just a tad faster. My hand was getting sweaty and it was harder to hold onto Ao Oni's hand.

Oh God. What happened to the original plan to just warn him and then go home? _Oh God._

I didn't know how long we ran for. The forest was still. It was eerie.

 _Death has come_ ; I heard a faint whisper in the wind.

"Hng…N…no…" I ran and ran.

Ao Oni ran and ran.

Until. We stopped running.

{+}

"Get in… _huff_ …here _huff_..."

I couldn't reply, my throat was dry and it was a bit sore to breathe in more air. I crawled into a small little space within the tree. Ao Oni came in next, and he squeezed between the tree and I. For two kids, it was just a bit tight.

We both tried to stifle our heavy breathing. Scared that our breath could give away our location.

A few moments passed, and we heard a lone cricket chirping.

_Chirp._

_Chirp chirp._

_Chirp._

As if it was inviting all the other living beings to join in with its' symphony, the owl joined in and hooted in the distance. The trees rustled through the wind.

The world was alive.

Once we both caught our breath, we were both quiet. I was the first one to break the ice.

"Looks like…you saved me again…hahaha"

He gave a short pause, and then said, "I don't want to be responsible for your death. That just leaves a bad taste in my mouth."

"Ah?"

He pulled his knees closer to his chest, and his eyes were hidden from me by his stray bangs. "I finally found a place where no one would bother me."

Did he mean that really shitty shed?

He continued on, "Those damn guys would destroy every home I found but they never really attempted to kill me. This is the first time, one of those crazy bitches actually came to hunt me down." He clenched his fists, "Why can't they just leave me alone?"

I didn't know what to say. After all, it felt like he was talking more to himself than to me.

He gave a loud sigh. "This is why you shouldn't be involved with me any further." He feigned nonchalant, but I could still hear a tinge of bitterness, and was that loneliness?

I still didn't say anything. I honestly had no idea what else I could say about this.

"Luckily," his voice was soft, his tone was calming me a bit, "those bastards normally don't chase for me that long, so we just need to stick it out a bit longer just in case."

After that last sentence, Silence sat between us. I could slowly feel my heart thumping.

_Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump._

Suddenly, I could feel the cruel embrace of death creeping from behind me. I shuddered. I needed to think about something else. I shook my head lightly to try to physically get rid of my unwanted memories. But the more I tried to convince myself not think about it, the more I thought about it. Ironic, right?

I tried to stay strong, but I couldn't control my fear to stay at bay. Slowly, it was encompassing my whole being.

"Ugh… _sniff_ …uuu…" I tried my best to calm my tormented heart, but it was for naught.

"Oy, are you crying?" Ao Oni's voice sounded in shock.

"I'm scared…"

"O-oy, don't cry. Don't be scared!"

I was supposed to be the adult and yet here I am crying. I tried to make myself as small as I could. I wrapped my body and dragged my knees to my chest.

"I…I just want to go home…" Sorry Ao Oni. I should be the one to reassure you. Sorry Ao Oni. Even though I wanted to save you, I couldn't warn you in time. I was such a coward.

Ao Oni… "S-sorry…" My voice was barely audible. My mind was a mess. _This is what happens when you try to save someone, you idiot! If I just took care of myself, if I just worried about myself, none of this would've happened. I would've never dealt with such a troublesome case!_

"H-how old are you?"

"Huh?" My musing was broken by his sudden question. I wiped away the stray tears and my runny nose with the sleeve of my robes.

Ao Oni glanced at me briefly, before looking away. He scratched his cheek lightly, "We can just talk to pass the time."

I blinked.

"After the coast is clear, I'll get you home!"

I blinked again. But I slowly opened my mouth, "I'm thirty—mmpf." I quickly covered my mouth, holy shit that was close. I quickly brought my hand up and pulled up three fingers.

"Eh! Three? I thought you were at least five or six or something."

"H-how about you?" I quietly asked.

"I'm five."

Before Silence had the time to settle down between us again, I asked, "Do you live by yourself?"

"Ah. Well, I guess I do."

Silence definitely settled down between us. It was awkward. I wasn't really a conversationalist, and I didn't think he was either.

But, what surprised me the most was that he was only five and he already had to fend for himself. What the hell did I do when I was 5? I don't remember. Ao Oni was an amazing kid.

"Earlier," He started, and I quickly turned my face towards him. Our faces were incredibly close. I was able to observe his eyes more closely. It was kind of fascinating. I never saw those types of irises before. Before I got the chance to have a closer look, he quickly turned his face away from me. "E-earlier," he started again, "you said that I wouldn't believe you about the real reason why you were out here."

"Ah…" I turned my sight back out towards the woods. "At first," there was really nothing to hide. Plus, I could feel hope rising in my chest. The killer was nowhere in sight. Maybe Ao Oni was right, and the killer gave up in chasing us? "I followed my cousins outside of the compound." I rolled a stray pebble that was by me; it was easier to talk while I was doing something else. Was that weird? "But, I heard that a kid named Ao Oni was going to get…hurt. Ao Oni has blue skin and blue hair like yours. I wanted to warn him before it was too late."

It wasn't a lie technically; it was just incredibly vague.

"So, you've decided, _'hey, let's save a complete stranger on some rumors!'_ type of a thing?" he sounded dumbfounded.

Well if he says it like that, I do sound a little bit off my rocker. "Y-yes?"

He gave out a heavy sigh, "Listen, kid, a small advice for you."

I could feel a lecture coming on.

"Being a hero won't help you out in this world. The only way to survive in this world is to be the one who can take care of themselves and only think about themselves."

That was incredibly depressing to think about, but it was true in a way. If I only thought about myself, I'm sure I would be home by now with some warm food and warm clothes, quietly sleeping away.

But…

But, if he truly believed in that philosophy, why did he bother saving me?

"That's a lie." I bluntly said.

"Is not." He retorted back.

"Is too."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Is not times an infinity."

"Wel-" Damn, I should've said that first. "Well, if you think that way, then why did you save me?"

"Because of a debt."

"A debt?"

"There was a man from the same clan as you."

That's interesting; I did not expect that at all. "What was his name?"

"I don't know. And I don't care." He tried to end the story off with that, but my curiosity was itching me to know.

"How did you owe him a debt?" I leaned in closer to him, insisting on knowing.

Ao Oni didn't say anything before he finally groaned in defeat, "He just helped me from the Mizu brothers. When I asked him what he wanted in return, he told me to help someone else who was weaker than me." He pointed at me, "and you're clearly 100 times, no, a million times weaker than me."

I could feel a vein pulsing on my temple, "Ah geez, thanks."

"With that, I don't owe that man any more debt. So I should be thanking you." He grinned childishly. "Also," he continued on, his grin slowly dropped to a frown, "you shouldn't try to look for Ao Oni anymore."

I was confused; he was definitely Ao Oni, why was he talking like that wasn't him?

"Ao Oni is a monster. No one likes him. Well, he's also strangely colored right?"

I felt like I was missing something here. I mean the kid in front of me had blue skin too. "But you have blue skin. And I…heard that Ao Oni also has blue skin. Is that normal?"

I could hear him gulp loudly, "We-well!" He stuttered.

"A-Ao Oni is my…twin brother!"

"Twin brother." My voice deadpanned. Really man? That's a lame lie.

"Anyway, he's the meaner one between the two of us. Also, if you keep trying to look for him, then you might get in trouble." It almost felt like Ao Oni was treating me like a kid, the way he was convincing me with lame lies.

"Like now?"

"Yes like no-" He stopped in his track. Gotcha.

"You're Ao Oni right?" I tried again.

"I-I'm not."

It was so painfully obvious; I wonder why he was trying so hard to convince me otherwise. "Then, what's your name?"

He gave a short pause, and said, "You're better off not knowing. It won't help you in any way."

"If you think me finding out you're Ao Oni would suddenly make me treat you differently, you're wrong."

He didn't say anything.

"You're really kind." I took his silence as an invitation to continue on. "You helped me three times, even though I probably slowed you down. I know you helped me because of a debt, but I'm still glad I was able to meet you." Despite all my complaining, and whining about how it was better if I stayed cooped up in my home – I think that was probably one of my most sincere feelings I voiced out loud.

He looked like he was struggling with something internal, with the way he bit his lips and his eyes cringed tightly, until finally, he said, "Ao Oni is what people call me…but that's not my real name."

I wonder why he told me his name was Ao Oni when we first met? I guess the Ao Oni I met the first time would only know the answer to that question.

"What's—" Before I got to ask for his name, he crawled out of the small space. My body suddenly felt cold; I missed the warmth.

"I'm going to scout around to see if that bastard is gone. Stay here."

"Wha-"

"After the coast is clear," he rubbed the back of his neck while turning his face away from me. "I'll take you home and…" he started to walk away from me, "and I'll tell you my name, my real name."

"Huh?"

"So be good!" He ordered like he was speaking to a toddler. He turned back towards me, and I could see him making his best stern looking face. The small red tinge on his cheeks glowed from the moonlight peeking through the leaves atop.

I nodded dumbly, not knowing how to respond to that even. He gave me a bright grin before he turned on his heel and walked off.

After a few minutes, a small burst of laughter bubbled within me. What a weird kid. I heaved out a loud, but comfortable sigh. My back leaned against the tree; I was finally going to go back home. Ao Oni, or whatever his name was, was going to be saved.

I had my doubts at first.

But I was truly glad that I took the first step to overcoming my fear, and finally, save him.

I was happy.

I truly, truly was happy. Thank God.

Everything almost seemed like one big bad dream.

Hahaha.

A small crack of a twig or a branch snapping was heard behind me.

"Wow, that was quick!" I crawled out of our small hiding space and looked towards the source of the sound.

There stood a tall stranger covered in dark cloth except for his eyes. The moment I blinked, darkness was the last thing I saw.

{+}

As soon as I opened my eyes, I saw the dreaded gray buildings. I looked around to see people whispering to each other all around me, and pretending that I couldn't hear them or see them. I saw rows of stalls with rotting fruits and vegetables. The stench of wet fish, soil, and people's body odor mingled with my nose.

No. No. No.

Just like last time, no traces of any previous injuries were seen.

Dammit. Dammit. DAMMIT.

I was so close.

We were so close.

Why?

How?

I finally collapsed from the mental exhaustion and sat in the middle of the road.

"Ha…haha…you've got to be kidding me."


	6. Passionate Rose

If you were to ask me if I believed in reincarnation or some greater purpose that I needed to achieve, I would've probably laughed in your face.

Not just any quiet chuckle of amusement. No.

I would have legit pointed at your face, and laughed till I puked my guts out.

Reincarnation? Pft.

Greater purpose? Bah, humbug.

The simple fact of life was folks, the end was meaningless, and death was inevitable. Now hear me out before you jump my skin telling me the romance of living out your life to the fullest.

We are such an insignificant life force compared to the vast expanse of the universe. Unless you were some saint or some crazy murderous psychopath, you would be forgotten. All of your faults, and mistakes, and your accomplishments…they will all be eventually forgotten.

Yet, people tried so hard to turn around their fate.

People tried so hard to attach meaning to this meaningless life.

Didn't I tell you?

You die. You rot. You are forgotten.

So why bother even trying?

…

I sat in the middle of the dirt path, not caring for the people staring at me, and whispering words that were clearly directed at me.

It was like some greater force was fucking around with me.

It was tiring, it was painful, and it was…sad.

I didn't want to experience the pain and the cruel fate of Ao Oni. If I had one life, like every freaking normal people, then it would've ended when I met Ao Oni the first time. But it didn't.

If I was still Jade, I think maybe I would've given up by now. If I were Jade, I would've gone home by now and hide. As much as I hated my life, I didn't think it was ever extreme to the point that I would take my life. I was Jade. You could put me in a different body. You could give me a different name. But I was still Jade.

Then why? WHY couldn't I run away?

This dark feeling that was brewing inside of me, what was it? My chest was clenching painfully, pushing me to move forward. My throat was dry, yet I wanted to scream. Scream loud and clear of expressing this torturous feeling growing inside of me.

Ah. I was angry.

I was angry, more than I was scared.

Now that was interesting.

I still didn't understand why I was given this power in the first place. Someone was making a fucking game out of my life. I didn't know which path to choose! I didn't know what to do next. Every single path that I took… it all led to a dead end. I entertained the thought that perhaps, Ao Oni's fate really was sealed. That maybe, he really was destined to die.

A blur of memory got recalled:

" _After the coast is clear," he rubbed the back of his neck while turning his face away from me. "I'll take you home and…" he started to walk away from me, "and I'll tell you my name, my real name."_

That's right, I never did get to find out his name.

_I didn't want to die._

_I didn't want him to die._

My hands started to get a bit clammy, and I quickly wiped the palm of my hands on my robe.

I still didn't know the extent of my power. I didn't know whether I had a time limit, or a death limit. But…all of Jade's life, she spent cursing the world and went to live on her life in pure apathy.

_I wanted to save him._

Hahaha, really when did I care about others?

Especially some kid that I had just met.

_I_ _**wanted** _ _to save him._

If I had this stupid power, I could really mess with the whole predestined fate thing. But when did I care about that in the first place? _Fate, do you hear me? I'm going to fight back. If I can't find the right path, then I'll make a new one._

_I will save him._

I will have a happy ending in this fucked up world.

"Hey, Kid." A very familiar voice was heard behind me. A specific crazy bastard who liked to burn kids was recalled.

Ah, shit I cursed inwardly, I forgot about this little event.

I stood up from the ground as quickly as I could. Yah, I was scared shitless. But, if anything, he should be the one to be scared. I know exactly what he was going to do next, and this time, I won't be caught by him.

I turned to face him quickly and took a few steps backward to leave some distance between us.

"Hm?" The crazy bastard didn't make any movement to reach towards me; instead, he stared at me with a thoughtful expression on his face. "You look like as if we met somewhere before?"

I gulped. _Don't let him take you by surprise Harumi!_ I took a big gulp of air and screamed as loud as I could, "SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

The bastard quickly took a step back and erratically looked around to see if anyone was approaching him.

Five seconds past.

No one.

Absolutely no one came up to us to check up on us.

My heart was beating loudly against my ribcage.

I tried once more, "S-SOMEBODY! H-HELP ME! HE'S CRAZY!"

There was a crowd of quiet murmur and some quick glances, but again, no one bothered to help out. Everyone minded their own business, meandering about of their own damn life.

My sore throat tried one last pathetic attempt, "S-s-someone…" My fervor glances between unfamiliar faces bounced one to another. Blank faces surrounded me.

_No one._

I heard a quiet chuckling. Looking back to the source of the sound, the bastard covered his hand to hide his amusement.

_Why?_

_Why won't anyone help me out?_

To any outsider, I was just a defenseless, weak kid.

_Why?_

_Why?_

_Why?_

_WHY?_

My heart palpitated. My breath quickened.

No. No. No.

_Please._

_This can't be happening._

The bastard interrupted my silent scream of dread, "I've heard rumors that this district is a hotspot. But damn, this is too easy." He laid his eyes on me. "Really, the village, the people, the damn councils…" He paused momentarily to stifle his cruel laughter, "…they really are all rotting pieces of trash."

I swallowed a lump that was stuck inside of my throat. I couldn't let him get to me. I took a step back, then another, and then another, until I turned around to run away from him. I felt my arm encircled by a large rough hand; this was déjà vu wasn't it. "SOMEBODY! ANYBODY!" I tugged as hard as I could, but it was futile. Images of him burning and twisting the burning cigarette burned inside my mind. "PLEASE! SAVE ME!"

Everyone walked past me. No one did anything to stop him. Why? What was wrong with these people? Why?

I stopped struggling. I looked down to the dirt path, frustrated, scared, and powerless.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" A high pitched voice rang through the crowd of useless bystanders.

The crazy guy and I both turned our head to the high-pitched voice.

Standing in front of us was a girl with bright long russet hair and warm green eyes. Her bangs covered her right eye, but her left eye was glaring at the man with a passionate fury. She didn't look any bigger or older than me either. Shit, she was going to get kidnapped too.

I wanted to scream at her to go and get an adult or to run away, but I couldn't. I was frightened, and for one moment I wanted to receive salvation from a girl who was no older than me. Pathetic aren't I?

"Kid, if you know what's best for you, scram." For a second there, dare I say it? The bastard actually was capable of a gentler tone.

"If someone needs help, I won't abandon them." She jabbed her thumb to her chest, "I'm going to be the next Mizukage!"

Mizu…kage? Didn't the twins mention something about that?

The bastard tirelessly sighed and walked up to the small girl. She didn't budge, and she didn't break eye contact with him. I was still paralyzed, unable to act on my will. I looked at the crowd who was also watching this but didn't do anything to stop it either.

"Ah…ah…" _Why won't you say anything Harumi? Call for help! Run for help! Do something, anything!_ "S-some…body…he…" I bit my lower lip; no more words would come out after that.

"Little girls like you should learn their place." His voice hardened to the bastard I remembered him to be. He raised his hand to hit her, but something stopped his hand from reaching her.

Another man with short russet hair had grabbed the bastard's wrist. I had no idea when he even approached us, he just suddenly appeared in front of the little girl in a blink of an eye! "If you touch my sweet daughter," I winced when I heard a very unpleasant crack, "I will kill you."

"AUUGH!" The bastard hollered, and he fell to his knees.

"TOU-CHAN!" The little girl lost all her aggressive demeanor, and her face brightened up instantly.

"Mei-chan," the man spoke to his daughter with great fondness, "What did I say about talking to perverts like him?"

"Tou-chan, Tou-chan, this pervert was trying to take that little girl." She pointed at me, and I shifted my eyes to the bastard who was now on the ground clutching his wrist in obvious pain.

"You shouldn't be here, little girl," he walked towards me, "come on, I will take you home." His large hand easily covered the crown of my head, and he lightly ruffled my hair into a disheveled state. What was up with adults and messing up my hair? I think it must be a father thing.

"Oy…don't think I'll let you go after what you did to my wrist."

"Tch." Mei's father turned around to face the bastard, "You should've stayed down if you valued your life, scum." His voice quickly turned dark making him seem like a completely different person from when he spoke to his daughter.

The bastard brought out his knife, the knife that I remembered once holding. I shuddered involuntarily as memories of my encounter with him leaked out. I felt something warm embraced my hand. I looked down and saw another small hand clasped mine. Looking up, the same girl was smiling kindly at me. "It's okay," she spoke quietly, "my tou-chan is super strong."

My voice was lost, and I made no movement to withdraw my hand from hers. I strangely felt safe and calmer.

When the bastard charged, the man easily dodged his strike by sidestepping to the left. The bastard had a hard time stopping his momentum and stumbled over as he tried to regain his balance. The bastard quickly turned and growled like a feral beast.

Mei's father stood straight and proud. His face was blank, void of any emotions.

"Aughhh!" The feral man screamed. He thrust his knife towards Mei's father, but as soon as I blinked, the knife landed right by my feet.

"Ack!" I broke my linked hand with Mei's and shuffled backward from the dagger that laid innocently on the ground.

"Sorry about that Kiddo." I looked up to see the bastard face down on the ground unmoving. Did he kill the man? Mei's father had such a relaxed demeanor despite the fact that someone tried to kill him just moments ago.

I looked up to see the tall man. I noticed that he was wearing a strange clothing attire. The gray flak jacket looked very familiar as well, I think my dad owns that flak jacket as well. His bangs were covering some sort of metal plated headband. When a light breeze brushed his bangs aside, I saw four squiggly lines. My line of sight was suddenly blocked by Mei's face as she stood very close to me.

"SEE! What did I tell you? Tou-chan is strong right?" It was weird seeing how she wasn't frightened at all when her dad beat up the bastard. Was this a common occurrence in her life I wondered? "Tou-chan is the bestest shinobi in the world!"

_Shinobi…that word…_

Before I mused any further, Mei's father broke through my train of thought. "Now, now, Mei-chan. Give the kid some space." Mei quickly stepped away from me, and I now had my own personal bubble once more.

I looked around to see that people stopped staring at the fallen man, and they just bustled around minding their own business once more.

"Grrr, I can't believe no one helped you even though you were crying for help!" Mei pouted, but then she tried to glare at everyone who walked passed us.

I finally found my voice, "Thank you for saving me."

Mei's face turned back to her bright smiley face. "No problem. It's a good thing that me and Tou-chan are around, right?"

I nodded because seriously, what do I even say to that.

That's when Mei's father finally spoke up, "It is unusual to see kids from the major clan out and about. Normally they don't allow young'uns to go outside their compounds. But, that's okay. You're safe with us. We will take you home." He smiled so gently at me that I had to bite my bottom lip trying not to bawl out. I finally found a sense of relief with these people. Something wet rolled down my cheeks. My eyes were burning, and my vision was growing blurrier. I tried to hug myself to comfort myself so I wouldn't pathetically cry in front of my two saviors. Well too late for that. I thought I was going to die. I thought that the bastard would torture me and kill me again. No matter how bravely I tried to tell myself to act, the fear was all encompassing and rendered me useless.

"Woah! Tou-chan! You made her cry!"

"Wha- ah, oh no, what did I do?"

I quickly wiped my eyes from my tears and took a big breath. No use crying for what could've happened. I was safe right now, and that was what mattered the most, right? "Sorry about that," my voice was still a bit watery, "thank you for saving me," I said once more before I bowed to Mei's father in gratitude. My mother taught me to greet people and to thank people properly. It was still weird to bow to people every time, though.

He chuckled lightly, "You're welcome." Then he continued on, "Even though I'm off-duty I still have to do my job here."

I looked at him curiously, what job?

"EEEEHHH!" Mei whined, "It won't take you long, will it tou-chan?"

He gave her a toothy grin, "It shouldn't take too long Mei-chan. Will you wait for me with …" He looked at me, "I still haven't asked for your name."

Both green eyes stared at me, I was a little nerved from the sudden amount of attention I was receiving. "It's Ha-Harumi." I tried to make eye contact as I spoke, but I couldn't help but shift my eyes away from them.

"Nice to meet you Harumi-chan." His voice was jovial, "My name is Masato Terumi. I'm a close friend of your father, Harumi-chan."

Huh? Did he know my father? That was unexpected. "A-ah…pleasures all m-mine." I seriously wasn't used to all these formal greetings that my mother tried to drill into my head. But most importantly, I wanted to ask him more question about my father, if maybe he knew when my father would be coming back home. But before I had a chance to ask, Masato started to speak again.

Masato nodded and looked towards Mei, "Take Harumi-chan, and wait for me with Kaa-chan. Alright, Mei-chan?"

"Okay!" Mei happily chirped, "Don't take too long okay Tou-chan! We have to play Shinobi when you come home!" Mei grabbed my hand, she was very touchy feely. "Come on, my house is just around the corner."

"Uh…" I was being dragged towards her house. When I looked back, Masato easily carried the bastard with one arm and the dagger in his other hand, and he quickly disappeared.

"How did he disappear?" I was in awe. Was that normal even?

Mei giggled merrily, "Tou-chan is a _Shinobi_ , and all _shinobis_ should be able to do that, silly!" She stated as if it was the most obvious information in the world. My cheeks felt warm from the embarrassment. I almost felt stupid to ask that question.

I cleared my throat to change the topic, "So did you help me because of Mas—" I paused thoughtfully as I remembered that people didn't call you by your first name without your permission or if you're super friendly with one another, "Terumi-san was around?"

"Mmhm…" Mei hummed thoughtfully, "Nope!" she said a second later.

She stopped walking and turned around to face me. "Tou-chan probably just came back from his mission."

So it was just coincidence that her father came to the rescue then.

"But!" Mei continued on, "Even if tou-chan wasn't here, I would've still helped you Hami-chan!"

My eyes twitched in annoyance.

First, my name wasn't Hami-chan. It was Harumi.

Second, she completely closed the gap of our acquaintance-like relationship to sudden friends way too quickly and easily.

And third, she was way too perky about this whole situation.

"Ah…uh…" I was dumbfounded.

She smiled confidently and grabbed hold of my hand and continued walking to her home. "This village is rotten! This village is evil!" Mei suddenly spouted in a very theatrical voice. "The people here are rotten! The people here are evil!" Her voice returned to her normal perky self. "That's what all the other villages say about us."

"Oh…" I said in pseudo-understanding. Where was she going with this?

"But you know, I love this village. And the people here are not all bad either."

"Ah…"

"Tou-chan said that right now, people are scared, that's why they won't help the village be a good home."

"Scared?"

"Ya! That's why no one helped even though you were asking for help. No one wants to help each other! But, Tou-chan said that I should help others so that the people I helped might help other people too. And then, everyone will start caring about each other and help everyone!"

"Yah…" Uwah…. I mean theoretically, it could happen, kind of like a dominos effect…but that was a bit of a stretch? Can I say she was overtly a bit too optimistic?

"You know, Tou-chan told me," Her voice transformed from her usual perkiness to a softer and gentler tone, "Even if the land is barren, beautiful flowers can still bloom. It will be hard work, but nothing is impossible if you have a caring gardener!"

"Huh?" I didn't really get that analogy.

Mei stopped in front of a small house, she wasn't wrong; it was literally just around the corner. There was a sign that says…'Ap…o…th…'I couldn't read the rest, my reading skills wasn't that great yet. The door was opened, and a small bell was attached to the top part of the door. There was a short wooden picketed fence around the house, and various different colored flowers surrounded it.

It was a quaint but beautiful home. There was a certain atmosphere of love and warmth coming from her home. It had a different feel to it than my home, and I didn't mean the obvious physical differences. It was hard to explain. It almost felt … _homey?_ Sorry for the intended bad pun.

Mei spun around to meet my awed stare; she had her hands behind her back and gave me a toothy smile that resembled Masato's smile. "If the village right now is barren, and the Mizukage is the gardener, I just need to become an awesome Mizukage to make this village awesome, right?"

It was great to see someone so young have a dream, except I still didn't exactly know what the hell a Mizukage was. "R-right," I said awkwardly.


	7. Foolish Hero

The moment I entered Mei's home, I gagged.

"I'm home, Kaa-san!" Mei hollered. I was surprised she didn't mind the bitter and foul smelling odor.

The smell was very familiar; I definitely smelt this before.

"Mei-chan, you're home already?" the voice, which I assumed to be Mei's mother, sounded very muffled and distant.

I looked around the room I was in, and there were shelves of crystal clear bottles and cases of dried herbs? There were also brown vials that had some sort of weird liquid substance contained within it. As Mei and I walked closer to the source of the voice, we stopped just in front of a counter with a small handle bell on it.

A plump woman with light brown hair entered from the door behind the counter. "Did you bring the herbs that I asked for, Mei-chan?"

"Uh…" Mei hesitated.

The next thing that happened was really unexpected. Her mother _karate chopped_ Mei's head! "Owwwiieee…"

"Don't tell me you got side tracked again, Mei-chan!" Mei's mother looked sternly at her, but her laugh lines and her gentle looking eyes made it hard to tell if she was really angry with Mei.

"But, but, but, Kaa-sannn" Mei groaned, "I was being a hero!"

"A hero?"

Mei pointed at me, and I could only smile awkwardly under her mother's inquisitive stare.

"He-Hello, m-my name is Harumi-"

"She's from the _Yuki clan_ , Kaa-san!" Mei interrupted me; her voice was so full of energy and excitement.

"E-eh, how did you know my last name?" I didn't think I told Mei or her father my last name. To be honest, this culture required everyone to introduce themselves by their full name, but I kept forgetting to, as it was something Jade rarely did. It still felt awkward for me to follow through this culture.

Mei looked at me with an exasperated look, "Geez, you really don't know anything do you?"

I know. I know she didn't mean to insult me, but God damn her bluntness. I'm sorry I don't know anything about this weird world!

_Whack_

Mei's mother karate-chopped her head once more.

"Owwwiieeeeeee…." Mei whined.

"Mei-chan, don't be rude to your friend."

"Eh? I didn't mean to be rude!" She looked at me with big eyes and an equally big frown, "I'm sorry Hami-chan! I didn't mean it!"

"A-ah… uh…" Again, she was way too close to my face for comfort. "It-it's alright, Mei-san" I took a step back to maintain a more comfortable distance from her.

"I'm sorry for that—Harumi-chan, was it?" Her mother had a very gentle and soothing voice, "Mei-chan sometimes doesn't think before she says stuff." This time, Mei's mother gave her a light pat on Mei's head.

"It's alright…really!" It felt weird having a _normal-ish_ conversation with them. It almost felt like weeks since I had last talked to someone who wasn't trying to kill me. It was actually kind of _nice_.

"Now, what's this thing about being a hero?" Her mother's tone shifted lower while scowling at Mei. It was funny how such a hyperactive kid could stiffen like that in the face of their mother.

"Uh…never mind!" Mei piped up. She grabbed my hand and proceeded to run out of the door.

"Ack… " I squawked from the sudden force almost making me fall face flat to the ground.

"M-Mei-chan?" Her mother exclaimed in surprised.

"Tou-chan is coming home soon! Until then, I wanna play with Hami-chan!" Mei said as she continuously dragged me through the door. As soon as we left through the exit, Mei yelled out, "We'll be playing in the backyard, Kaa-san!"

Before we got to hear Mei's mother's reply, we were already running, well I was being dragged towards her backyard.

Mei finally let go of my hand as we approached a wooden gate with a small latch. "Whew, that was close!" Mei finally said.

"What was?" I asked as I was rubbing my wrist from Mei's sudden assault. Damn, her grip was really strong for a kid.

"If Kaa-san found out that I picked a fight with someone, she'll go nuts!" Mei said, as she animatedly waved her arms above her head frantically.

I wouldn't say picking a fight was the right term for what she did. "She's just worried about you, Mei-san." I tried to reason with her, she was going to die at an early age if she continued to be reckless. I mean, I already died multiple times from being reckless.

Mei was fiddling with the latch, and when I heard a click, the wooden gate groaned from old age as it was pushed wide open. "I know," Mei said, "but, I can't ignore someone who needs help!"

We both entered her backyard, and were it ever gorgeous! There was a small stone made pathway leading towards a wooden swing set that was slowly being covered in vines.

"It's pretty, right?" Mei said proudly.

"Ya…" I was dazed, there were so many different plants surrounding the pathway.

"Kaa-san makes icky medicine to heal people!"

"That's pretty cool!" I said, as I slowly walked around and observed the different colored flowers and shrubs. I guess this is kind of like a pharmacy in this world? I knew the smell was familiar, I think I drank some of those "icky" medicines when I came down with a cold last year.

"Anyway!" Mei started, "Why is a Yuki kid all the way out here?"

Come to think of it, I still wanted to know how she knew I was from the Yuki clan. Was it that obvious? Did Yuki clans have distinctive features to them? "Actually, could you first tell me how you knew I was from the Yuki clan?"

Mei stared at me before she gave a dramatic sigh. She closed her eyes, while she pointed with her index finger to the sky. "It's super obvious!"

 _Go on…_ I wanted to say but decided to wait for her to continue.

"The back of your robe has a _snowflake_ on it."

"A snowflake?" I did notice that a lot of my clothing did have a bunch of snowflake design on it. I just thought it was cute, and didn't think too much of it.

"The snowflake is your clan's symbol. So when people see it, they know you're from that clan!"

"Oh…" I wonder if that was why the bastard kidnapped me because he knew I was from a clan.

"So…" Mei huddled closer to me and looked left and right before she lowered her voice, which I didn't even think that was even possible for her. "Did you run away?" She whispered.

 _Huh?_ I looked at her dumbfound. "No…"

This time, she looked at me dumbfounded. "Eh? Then why are you out here?"

I was really confused. The people here were all treating me like being outside of my compound was the weirdest thing ever. "Why can't I be out here?"

Mei opened her jaw, and her eyebrows scrunched together. "Wow, no one tells you anything do they?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"This village hates clans, like a lot!"

"Hate…clans?"

Mei nodded vigorously, "That's why you shouldn't wear clothes with snowflakes on them!"

"Why…why do they hate clans?"

"Hmmm…" Mei put her hand on her chin, "Mmmmmmmm…."

_I waited._

"Mmmmmhhhhmmmm…." She continued to hum.

_And I waited._

"Mmmhhmmm…."

My eyes started to twitch. _Come on._

Mei finally stopped humming and clapped her hands together. "I don't know!" She stuck her tongue out to the side and gave me a bashful look.

I seriously wanted to leave right now.

"But, that doesn't matter!" Mei exclaimed, "You're totally safe here, Hami-chan!" She smiled widely while patted my shoulder reassuringly, I think.

"Ye-yea…" I stuttered. This was definitely a new revelation for me that was for sure. After all, it kind of made sense why everyone was glaring at me, and even Ao Oni was wondering why I was out here too.

_Ao Oni…_

_Ao Oni._

_Oh my God!_ _How could I have forgotten about him?_ I started to look frantically around, it was still light outside, but the sun was slowly setting. I needed to quickly tell him…tell him…

_Images of Ao Oni being decapitated smothered my mind._

…

I can't…

_Images of the bastard torturing me suffocated me._

…

Should I…

_Images of Mei coming to my rescue, with her brilliant green eyes filled with determination comforted me._

…

Why can't I…

…

"What's wrong, Hami-chan?" Mei looked at me with concern overflowing in her eyes. She probably thought I was going crazy with all the erratic movements I was making.

"I…" _I was so close to going back home!_ "I…" _I was so close to just forgetting about this whole mess!_ I gritted my teeth, and my fist clenched tightly. Even after all that, I was still tucking my tail between my legs and was trying to run away.

_But what was wrong with that? Really. It's normal._

_Feeling scared and wanting to run away is normal._ I looked at Mei who was hovering both her hands in front of me, not sure whether to touch me or not.

 _Yet, look at me, I'm pathetic. A kid came to my rescue. She didn't know me. She didn't have to help me, but she did anyways._ I raised my fist and thumped my chest hard to ward away the pressure in my chest. Ao Oni also saved me when I was being reckless.

They were only kids. Yet, they had more resolve than I ever did in my 32 years of life combined.

I looked past Mei and noticed a small wilting blue flower surrounded by vibrant yellow flowers. I laughed sardonically. _Really, Fate, you tease me so cruelly._

"Ha-Hami-chan!" Mei finally yelled, and my attention was back on her. Her face looked so worried. I wondered why she cared about me even though we barely knew each other. How could she be so trusting?

She had her hands on my shoulder and was gripping me in fear… of what? I didn't know.

I slowly reached to her equally small hand, and I grasped it lightly. _I won't run away anymore._ I was done running away. I guess, Mei and I were really similar weren't we? Both helping people blindly, without realizing the danger we could put ourselves into. Seriously, when would we learn?

"Hami-chan?" Mei's voice was filled with uncertainty.

"Mei-san."

"Y-you can call me Mei-chan!" Mei's smile was slowly resurfacing, "we're friends right?"

My hold on her hand grew tighter, "Ah." I said in affirmation. "Mei-chan."

"Wh-what is it?" Even though she was smiling, I could still see confusion lingering in her eyes.

"Thank you." I finally said.

"Huh?"

I let go of her hand, and her hands slowly dropped from my shoulders. "For giving me courage." I smiled at her as sincerely as I could.

"Wh-wh-what?" Mei stuttered. Her hands started to fiddle with the hem of her sleeves while her head was bowed down. She chuckled nervously; I did not expect that kind of reaction from her.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's just…" She smiled at me brightly, "no one thanked me like this before, hehe…"

I blinked in confusion.

"It's kinda nice…" Her eyes were smiling just as greatly as her lips, and a faint blush colored her pale complexion.

This was the first time I actually looked at Mei Terumi. She was still a kid. She was still immature and naive. I could see faint yellow bruises I've never noticed before on her arms and her neck. Did she get that from picking fights I wondered?

I wondered…even if she bravely proclaimed herself to be a hero, didn't she still feel scared just before intervening? I wondered…how did people treat her after she attempted to save them? Yes, she was still stupid for purposely facing danger – but her reckless bravery was still something I couldn't help but admire.

"Mei-chan." I stared at her intensely.

"Wh-what is it?" It was weird seeing her suddenly stutter.

"Can I borrow your clothes?" I asked.

"…"

"…"

She and I both stared at each other. One was in confusion, the other with intention.

"Eh?"

"I thought about what you said," I started to explain myself, "wearing this robe will get me attention that I don't need."

"But… why?"

"There's…" I paused shortly, how could I explain my situation to her? "A friend…"

"A friend?"

"Mhm," I hummed in response, "He's a nice boy, but I heard from a ru-rumor…" _Ah, will she believe such a badly spun lie?_ "That someone is out there who's going to hurt him… and I want to help him." I ended weakly.

I looked up to see her eyes sparkling from the sunlight. "You have someone you need to save!?" I could not see an ounce of doubt in her eyes.

"We-well… yes. But it's going to be dangerous, so you can't come with me!" I tried to say, but I think she didn't hear me.

"If someone needs help, we gotta help them right?" Mei cheered.

"Well, yes, but Mei-chan, I'm just going to warn him, and I'll come here right away!"

"Yea, Yea!" She said dismissively. "I'll go get you a change of clothes!" Before I got a chance to reiterate that I would be going alone, she was already out the gate.

"Mei-chan? Wh-what are you doing with those clothes?" I could hear her mother's exasperated voice.

"We're playing Heroes!" Mei replied back. Damn, that was such a smooth lie. I wondered how often she lied to her mother? Did her mother realized they were lies?

"Don't get those clothes dirty Mei-chan!"

"I won't~" Mei yelled back, and she entered the gate with a pastel yellow robe. That was definitely going to get dirty if I was not careful…I shuddered at the thought of Mei's mother's wrath if I ever got that dirty.

Mei handed me her robe. The robe had a very soft feel, and it was super light. "Thanks… but Mei, I'll be back soon, okay?" I was trying to get it through her thick skull that she shouldn't come with me. Plus, I felt bad for her unsuspecting mother who thought her little daughter was playing a make-belief game when in fact she was marching straight into danger.

"But, Tou-chan said I had to wait with you!" She chirped happily. This girl was kind of nosey, damn it.

I clutched the robe tightly to my chest, "It's dangerous, Mei-chan." My voice was low; this was a warning for her.

"If it's dangerous, then all the reason I should be there!" Mei retorted.

I scrunched my eyes, "You don't understand!" The killer was ruthless…he won't show any mercy. He could kill all of us… and I didn't want to be responsible for her life. I wouldn't be able to face her parents, or mine if anything happened to her.

"Harumi-chan!" Mei looked at me, "I'm strong!"

"Huh?"

"We're just warning your friend, and we'll leave right after." Mei smiled reassuringly, "Trust me?" Her voice ended meekly.

I didn't know why I let her convince me to tag along. I'm the adult here; I should've been sterner with her. I should've taken responsibility for her action as she was still a kid and didn't know any better.

But I didn't.

One glance at her pleading face… and I caved. _Ugh._

Some adult I was.

"Ok…we're just warning my friend… and we'll leave right after." I parroted, to make sure both she and I understood the plan.

But of course, plans were just plans. Nothing was ever set in stone _._

{+}

Mei and I ran out to the shopping district. The yellow robe was very thin, and the humidity didn't bother me as much either. Cool air was flowing through my robe, and I felt I was running slightly faster than before.

I also realized that people didn't stare at me as much, rather they didn't seem to care about my presence. Did the Yuki Clan symbol invoke fear or hatred to the people in this village? Had my family done something to the villagers? All of those questions lingered in my mind, but I paid no heed of trying to answer them. I had a certain little blue kid to save, erm, warn.

As soon as we exited the shopping district, I looked towards the riverbank. From my understanding, Ao Oni was in the river the last time I met him. The riverbank was empty; the water languidly flowed by. My breath hitched, could it be that I was too late?

"You're nothing but a monster!" I heard a very familiar voice.

I turned to see a group of kids in the distance.

My blood ran cold.

Ao Oni was on the ground, while the three bullies were kicking him down.

Without a moment's hesitation, I ran towards the group of bullies. But I only got a couple steps in before someone grabbed my wrist and impeded me to move any more forward. I looked back to the source of my resistance, and it was Mei who wore a very stern face, holding me back.

 _Why?_ I wanted to ask, but Mei beat me to it.

"What do you think you are doing? Hami-chan?" Mei chastised me.

"What do you mean?" I was confused, why did she stop me?

"Uggghh, you really don't know anything do you?" Mei exasperated.

All right, I was getting real tired of this shit. Just tell me already, Mei! I thought angrily. Yes, I didn't know a lot of things, but she didn't have to patronize me every time. It was starting to get annoying.

"No. But I don't care. Ao-" I forgot he really didn't like being called by that name, "that kid is in trouble and we need to help him!" I exclaimed, I mean I thought Mei helped anyone who was in trouble so why was she hesitating?

"We can't Hami-chan!" Her grip on me tightened, "This is Ao Oni we're talking about."

I gave her a blank stare. She rolled her eyes, and continued on, "He's a monster, Hami-chan! The villagers said that the _Sea Goddess_ has cursed him, and anyone who approaches him will be punished by the _Sea Goddess_!"

I blinked twice, what the hell was a _Sea Goddess_? Was this some sort of religious sect that these people believe in?

"What makes him so different from us?" I cried indigenously.

"Well, first he has blue skin."

Ah, so the blue skin was abnormal.

Mei continued, "Second… Uhm…" She paused. She scrunched up her face. I think she was trying to think of more reasons.

I used my other hand and pried her grips off of my wrist. I looked to see the bullies beating up Ao Oni. I could feel my chest ache painfully. Even if I wanted to save Ao Oni, I couldn't.

I remembered the kid with the mole beating me senselessly. I could still remember the pain, and with that pain brought in more memories of Ao Oni's ultimate demise. My fingers grew cold, and I grasped my right arm from quivering.

_I was weak. I was powerless._

"Die, you monster, die!" One of the kids screamed gleefully.

But even so, standing here while I watched Ao Oni getting beaten up was just as painful.

"Mei-chan," I looked back to see Mei's scrunched up face, still trying to think of the second reason. "You saved me in hopes that I could help others, right?"

Mei stopped scrunching her face and looked back at me, "Huh?"

"You told me that people are scared, that's why they won't help others."

"But that's different, Hami-chan!" Mei tried to reason with me, "He's a monster! He's cursed!"

"Says who?" I challenged.

"Well… erm… people…" Came Mei's weak reply.

"I think people are scared because the kid looks different." I hoped that this idea wasn't too complicated for Mei. I wanted to express that people irrationally fear the 'others.'

"I don't get it," Mei said.

I could only sigh in exhaustion.

Time to think of a different approach, "Mei-chan, I want to help him because he needs help. It's the right thing to do." It was short, sweet, and simple. But sometimes, life was just that. I wasn't going to ask for Mei's help. She wasn't supposed to be here in the first place anyways. Plus, if she felt uncomfortable helping Ao Oni, I wouldn't force my belief on her. She had already done enough for me. She gave me courage and she saved me.

"The right thing to do…" Mei's voice wandered quietly.

I began to run towards Ao Oni once more, bracing myself for the possible pain to come. Yes, I'm scared. Yes, I'm weak. But…

Memories of all my meetings with Ao Oni pushed me to run faster towards him.

My lips quirked upwards, I just wanted to help him. What a lame reason, right?

I took a deep breath, "STOP RIGHT THERE!" I screamed.

The three bullies stopped kicking him, and I took a sharp intake of breath when I saw Ao Oni clutching his stomach with his right eye bruised and swollen shut.

"Oi, what the hell are you doing here? Scram little kid." The kid with the mole gave me this weird squinty look; I suppose that was his best attempt to try to look intimidating. This was seriously déjà vu. Really original kid. I joked to myself.

"Leave him alone." I pointed at Ao Oni. Ao Oni stared at me with wide eyes (well at least his left eye had widened), and his lips were parted.

The kid with the mole laughed, "What if I say no?"

"Then…" I paused. "I'll…fight… you?" Augh, I sounded so unsure. Way to go Harumi, you were supposed to say that with more confidence!

The kid with the mole laughed again. "You? Fight me? You can barely stop shaking!" He palmed his one eye, and threw his head back and laughed once more. Seriously, was it that funny?

I looked down and saw my hands and my knees were indeed quivering. Ah…I see. It seemed I was a poor liar; I couldn't fool my body to not feel fear.

The rest of his posse soon joined in and laughed at my deplorable state as well.

The kid with the mole sneered at me, "You seem to be new to this part of the town, kid."

I involuntarily gulped.

"I'll give you a little welcoming gift." He cracked his knuckles, and my body forced me to step away from him.

But before he took another step closer to me, someone ran in front of me. A very familiar long russet hair and a very familiar confident back faced me.

"M-Mei-chan?" I stuttered in disbelief. I seriously didn't think she would help Ao Oni after all of her refusals.

Mei took a deep breath before she proclaimed, "If someone needs help…" That line sounded very familiar; I couldn't help but smile cheekily at her cliché, but an awesome line. "…I won't abandon them!" She raised her arms, and her elbow jutted out, probably to point to her chest with her thumb – similar to when she introduce herself to the bastard. "I'm going to be the next Mizukage after all!" She ended her small intro smugly.

The three bullies, Ao Oni, Mei, and I, all stood in complete silence for a few seconds.

"One by one," the kid with the mole growled out, "keep coming out like cockroaches!"

I was happy that Mei decided to help, but I was also scared. I couldn't help but be worried that I might get Mei hurt because of my selfish whims.

"M-Mei-chan, maybe you should step down –" I tried to reason, but she cut me off.

"SHUT UP, YOU _WANKERS_!" Mei boasted out.

"W-wankers…?" The kid with the mole blushed a deep crimson.

"Wankers?" The two other bullies repeated after.

"Wankers…" Ao Oni said quietly while looking down.

What the hell was a _wanker_? Was it a curse word? I was never taught any derogatory terms in this new language.

"What's a _wanker_?" I couldn't help but ask, despite it being poorly timed.

"I don't know!" Mei claimed happily, "I just heard it from one of the older kids!"

"Oy, you seriously want a beating." The kid with the mole seemed to have recovered first from Mei's sudden outburst.

"You might want to ask the losers to help you fight me." Mei goaded. I almost had a heart attack, why was she taunting him like this!

"Me-Mei!" I cried out in horror.

"It's okay Hami-chan." She turned her neck, and I could only see half of her face. Her bangs covered her eyes, but her smile was beaming brilliantly. "I'm strong."

Was she over confident? Was she living a delusional lie? I was simply dumbfounded.

It seemed her declaration of her strength had only further angered the kid with the mole.

"Augh!" He barked, he was running towards Mei, and yet Mei wasn't even looking at him!

I wanted to yell _watch out_ , but before the punch connected with her head, she sidestepped to the left. The way she moved was very similar to how her father moved when he was fighting the bastard, albeit a bit slower and less graceful.

Unlike the bastard, the kid with the mole seemed to have recovered his balance much quicker.

"Kenji" One of the bullies with a short brown ponytail cried out his name.

So the kid with the mole now had a name to his face, I bitterly thought.

Mei had her hands behind her back while she observed Kenji's next move.

Kenji immediately charged at her once more, but this time, Mei grabbed Kenji's arm, and twisted her whole body so that she was facing away from him.

With Kenji's arm over her shoulder, she started to tug him over her back.

"HI-YAHH!" She screamed.

_Thump._

Kenji was thrown down to the ground. My jaws slackened. What the? Was that normal? Kenji was taller and bigger than her, and yet how the hell did she do that?

"Oof," Kenji grunted. "Why you…" He managed to growl out.

"Kenji!" One of his lackeys anxiously cried out.

"SHUT UP!" Kenji roared. He got back up from the floor and began his glaring match with Mei.

Mei seemed unfazed by him, her whole posture was relaxed and she was waiting for his next move.

"I'm going to kill you." Kenji threatened.

"Try me, you wanker." Mei retorted right back.

I gulped. The air around me tensed, and my body went stiff. _Please don't get hurt, Mei,_ I prayed quietly.

Kenji pulled back his punch and began to sprint towards Mei.

"AHHHHH!" He charged.

Mei just had her one hand; palm out faced towards him, and her other hand was in a fist behind her back.

Before Kenji's fist reached his marked destination, Mei slapped his fist upwards. She quickly crouched down, and with her other hand that was behind her back, she aimed straight and true…right to…his…

"AUUGHGHHHHGGGGHHHHHH" Kenji cried.

"Kenji!" Both of his lackeys screamed in unison this time.

Mei punched where the moon didn't shine. Just no mercy for his family jewels. It was a low move, literally, but it was super effective!

Kenji was instantly on the ground in a fetal position.

"Shit! Ugh" He cursed. "I'm going…to… ugh" He couldn't continue.

"What are you going to?" Mei egged him on.

"I'll make you…grunt…PAY!" Kenji managed to pant out.

The two of his lackeys helped Kenji up, one of the lackeys with the short ponytail cried out, "We'll get you back for this!" They both dragged Kenji away from us.

That was…anticlimactic. I looked towards Mei who was still egging the three bullies while cackling maniacally. Occasionally throwing the word _wanker_ again to them. I couldn't help but feel a slight burn to my ego as the same kid crying to the heavens above beat me to a pulp. Yet, Mei easily beat Kenji without breaking a single sweat or _nose_ , I thought sardonically.

"Papa and I call that move, the _ball crusher_!" Mei exclaimed happily.

The... _ball...crusher…_ I hope that name was still a work in progress.

"Ugh…" I heard a small grunt. I looked back and saw that Ao Oni was trying to get up. I quickly ran to his side, and I reached my hand to help him up.

_Smack._

But before I got the chance to help him up, my hand was repelled back towards me.

"I…never _asked_ for your help." He gritted out.

"…" I remained silent because he technically wasn't wrong.

"HEY! Hami-chan wanted to help you 'cos you were in trouble. You should be thanking her!" Mei turned her attention back to us; she was glaring angrily at Ao Oni.

"Ah… it's okay Mei-chan –" I didn't want them to fight right off the bat.

"SHUT UP! You ugly bunhead." Ao Oni argued back.

Bunhead? I looked back to see Mei's eyes widen like two saucer pans, with her jaws gaping open. Her two hands were cupping the small hair bun she was sporting. Her shocked expression immediately turned angry, and I could see her temperature rising as her cheeks grew redder and redder. "Ugly bunhead?" Mei shrieked. "YOU'RE ONE TO TALK! STUPID FISH HEAD!"

 _F-Fish head_ …? Seriously. What's with the shitty name calling?

"I-I'm not a STUPID FISH HEAD!" Ao Oni took the bait, and he too was starting to get angrier, "Check your eyes, BUNHEAD!"

"YOU CHECK, FISH HEAD!"

"BUNHEAD!"

"FISH HEAD!"

"BUNHEAD!"

"FISH HEAD!"

This went on for 30 more seconds before I finally stopped their childish banter. "GUYS! ENOUGH!" They both turned towards me at the same time. Creepy…

"Hmph." Mei harrumphed, and she grabbed my hands. "Come on Hami-chan, we have better things to do than talk to _Ao Oni_." Mei spat out.

Instantaneously, I felt the chill run down my back; I could feel Ao Oni's glare intensifying.

"Don't call me that." Ao Oni's voice was quiet, but the threat was by no mean hidden.

Mei scoffed, "Or what? You couldn't even fight against those three losers. What can you possibly do?"

I could definitely foresee another argument exploding. I let go of Mei's hand and quickly moved my body in between the two hot-tempered kids.

"Mei-chan, I don't want us to fight." I pleaded.

"Bu-but he started it!" Mei whined.

"I don't care who started it, I want to end it."

Mei only grumbled in response. She crossed her arm, pouted her lips, and looked away from us. I sighed tersely; she was such a kid.

I turned back to Ao Oni, and he was avoiding eye contact with me as well. "I'm sorry about that." My voice went soft when I was speaking to him, hoping nothing would set him off again. It was weird seeing Ao Oni again, and I felt bitter that I was the only one who could remember all of our encounters.

"I don't care." Came Ao Oni's reply.

"Still. You don't like it right?"

No response came out from him.

I inwardly sighed. How the hell was I suppose to warn him about the killer now? This situation was making it harder for me to bring that subject up, especially because he definitely didn't trust me as of right now.

Ao Oni and I awkwardly sat in silence. Damn, I wish I knew how to deal with this.

I felt as each second past, the sun was slowly saying farewell to the world. I could feel my window of opportunity closing. I had to say something. I had to do something!

But no words came out. I was hesitating because I was worried about being labeled as a liar and _failing again_. The harder I tried to succeed, the more I felt I was rooted down.

"I'm going home…" Ao Oni finally said in a quiet voice.

As I saw him turning around to leave, my heart started to erratically beat out of its' cage.

_No…No… I can't…you can't…!_

My hand was about to reach for his before Mei's voice broke my trance-like state.

"WOAH! HAMI-CHAN! LOOK! LOOK!"

Both Ao Oni and I turned towards Mei pointing somewhere. My sight slowly trailed down her arm to the end of her pointed finger and onto the river.

I blinked twice.

That was a big log. I think.

I blinked again.

Wait.

WAIT!

Was that a person?

I quickly ran closer to the river and squinted my eyes.

There and behold, a person was floating down the river on their back. "W-We have to help them!" I spluttered out. _Was he dead? Oh God, just my luck! We can't leave them in the river, can we? Should we? Oh God, if they were dead, I didn't want to touch them!_ My inside squirmed uncomfortably.

"Oy!" My train of panicked thoughts was interrupted by a boy's voice. It was Ao Oni's. "What do you mean help them?" He was scowling at me.

"We c-can't just let them float away!" I tried to reason.

"100s of people kill themselves in this river."

My faced blanched, _100s of people died here?_

"Helping others" Ao Oni continued, "You're only being a _nuisance!_ "

I could hear the bitterness in his tone. I recalled a memory of how reluctant he was with helping others, yet at the end of the day, he still helped me.

"Don't say that to Hami-chan!" Mei instantly came to my defense. "There's nothing wrong with helping people who are in need."

"That's a stupid way to live." Ao Oni scoffed.

I tuned out their argument and focused on the person slowly drifting past us. Ao Oni was right. I was being a nuisance. I was weak, powerless, and pathetic. Even with the fight against the Mizu brothers, I couldn't do anything.

"I can't eat anymore…" the person mumbled something.

I looked back to see Mei and Ao Oni still arguing within their own little world.

That person just talked right now! Did he accidentally fell into the river while he was sleeping? Holy shit, he was a deep sleeper!

I looked closely at the river to see how deep it was. I wasn't a bad swimmer, and the distance between land and the person wasn't that far apart either. If it was something I could do with my strength, I wanted to try my best. With a resolve that wasn't naturally characteristic of me, I took off my shoes. I backed four steps and took a running start before diving in the river.

_If you saw someone floating down the river, and you knew they were alive, would you have helped them?_

_Not knowing if a different person would save that person, could you ignore them?_

_Thinking back, maybe I was being stupid? I wonder why I constantly dived into other people's problem? It would be so much easier if I minded my own business. Really. When will I learn?_

Cold water instantly greeted my body. I forgot how weak, feeble, and small this body was. My foot couldn't reach the bottom of this river. I could feel my body being dragged further away from the land. I tried swimming, but the robe hugged my body tightly and weighed me down. I ordered my arms and my legs to swim, but for some reason even though Jade knew how to swim, Harumi's body was unable to piece together the concept on how to make her body float and swim.

"Haupf!" I spluttered. I swallowed a mouthful of water; my hands and legs were flailing all over the place.

_Air… Air… Oh God… Oh God… save me…_

" _Gasp_ …Huph…" Another mouthful of water was swallowed before I could desperately scream for help. With the lack of air, and using all of my body strength to stay afloat, I didn't last very long.

"H-HAMI-CHAN!" I heard Mei's worried voice.

"O-oy kid!" Ao Oni called.

"I-I can't swim…" Mei cried, "Y-you have to help Hami-chan!"

My limbs were growing tired, and it was harder to keep my head above the water.

I held my breath for as long as I could, but it was for naught. My lungs screamed at me. My brain cried at me. My body shrieked at me.

_I don't want to die. Please. No. Not when I came this far. Please. Please. Please. No. Air. Air. Air. Air. Someone. Air. Air. Oh God. It hurts. It hurts._

My head felt like it was going to implode.

_Oh God. Help. Air. No. Air._

_Air._

_I WANT TO BREATH!_

_Air._

_Air._

_...Someone…_

…

…

I drowned.


	8. Puffer Fish

It was dark.

It was cold.

Despite seeing only darkness, I could see the outline of my arms clearly.

The silence was deafening.

 _Was this it?_ I laughed cynically. Death by drowning really did me in it seemed.

I should be happy, right? I mean, I was never supposed to come back alive anyways.

_Hahaha…_

This was the right thing to do; this was the way the universe should function. I hugged my forearms tightly.

I didn't know how long I sat in this darkness. Strangely, I didn't feel bored. I just felt nothing. I could stay here forever. Nothingness in itself was comforting me.

I sat and sat and sat. Until I felt something cold and bony fondling my right shoulder.

I gasped harshly; my body wouldn't move.

They felt like hands, someone's hands. I wanted to turn, but I couldn't. My body, why was my body not responding? The bony hand of death slowly climbed to my neck and started to gently caress my throat.

My heart raced, and I felt cold sweat forming between my brows. I started to gag, and instantly memories of the junkie choking me were relived.

_Stop…_

_Stop…_

The hand slowly squeezed my trachea. My eyes were burning.

_Stop…_

_Stop…_

I whimpered in fear.

"STOP!" My voice finally worked.

Light encompassed the darkness.

I woke up.

{+}

The first thing that assaulted my sight wasn't the gray buildings and the shitty vendor food that had seen better days. There was a very pudgy face with small squinty eyes staring right at me. His face was very close to mine.

"A…" I paused before a great force emerged from my lungs and through my vocal chords.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed.

Instantly, my body flexed and I got up as soon as I could. In the process, I head butted the pudgy-faced person's forehead.

_THWACK_

I fell back due to the incoming sharp pain, and my hands instantly massaged my forehead. "O-owieee…" I groaned. Their forehead was so freaking hard.

"Oh ho ho, it seems the little lady has finally awoken." A deep voice boomed, demanding their presence to be known.

"HAMI-CHAN!" I heard a friendly voice, and then soft warmth embraced me.

I opened my eyes slightly; my forehead still throbbed. Mei hugged me tightly while she was babbling about some great _shinobi_ and _drowning_. The rest was all a string of incoherent words.

When Mei finally parted from me, I saw her tear-stricken face.

"I-I didn't die?" I asked automatically. I thought that I kicked the bucket when I drowned. I could only assume the pudgy man resuscitated me.

More tears flowed down from her long lashes, and she gave me a watery smile, "You're okay Hami-chan."

I looked at Ao Oni, who was right behind Mei. He had his arms crossed and glowered down at me. I also noticed that his hair was wet and droplets of water were falling from his hair to his face. Actually, in fact, his whole body was wet. There was a small puddle forming from where he was standing.

"Little Lady!" The booming voice called out, and I looked back to the giant stocky man. He towered over me, and naturally he was peering down at me. Even though he was in the water, not a single droplet of water stained him and his clothes. He had three green whisker-like marks on each side of his cheeks. He also had very long orange hair that had some hair pinned on the top of his head. I looked at his forehead and noticed a metal plated headband that was similar to what Mei's father wore. It had four squiggly lines etched onto it. I rubbed my forehead absent-mindedly, so that was why his forehead was so freaking hard.

"Y-yes." My voice cracked a bit.

"You should learn how to swim before you decide to go out for a swim!" He advised me.

"Huh?" I said in reflex, did he think I was going out for a swim while I was still wearing my clothes? I looked down to see that my yellow robe was indeed very wet and was clinging on to my body. It felt uncomfortable, and I was starting to get a tad cold.

"Hami-chan!" Mei took my attention; her watery visage was replaced with a wide smile. Her face was suddenly filled with excitement, "THE Fuguki Suikazan-sama saved you!"

"Eh?" Was I supposed to know who this Suikazan person was supposed to be?

Mei instantly face palmed herself, "Geez, you don't even know one of the greatest _Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist_?"

The seven what-a-what? I knew I heard that name somewhere, but I didn't know anything more than that.

That was when a different voice spoke out. "The Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist is given to the strongest and best swordsmen of Kirigakure." Ao Oni spoke up in a matter-of-factly tone. He was still glaring angrily at me, though.

"Oh…" I was still confused; I had no idea what they were talking about in the slightest.

"Hahaha," the Suikazan person started to laugh, "You kids flatter me so!"

This time, Mei butted in, "Suikazan-sama realized that you were drowning, and he…" Mei suddenly blushed. She had her hands on her cheeks and squealed.

"Wh-what?" I asked in bewilderment.

"Suikazan-sama k-k-kissed you!" Mei squealed once more.

Ah, so he gave me CPR. I looked up to see the giant man and gave him a small bow. "Thank you for saving me Suikazan-sama."

"Haha," He laughed jovially, "it's not a problem Little Lady, just make sure to learn how to swim before you swim!"

I felt my left eye twitching erratically; again, I didn't swim because I wanted to! I dived in to try to save him because I thought he was drowning! "Ah…" I grunted in affirmation. I didn't want to defend myself because I still felt incredibly embarrassed from trying to save him and failing miserably.

"I didn't get you kids' names." Suikazan suddenly interjected.

"My name is Mei Terumi!" Mei started first.

"Oh, you're Terumi's kid, eh?" Suikazan mused.

Mei's eyes widened and sparkled, "You know tou-chan?"

"Ah, Terumi is a very well-renowned ninja himself."

Mei exploded with happiness, "Tou-chan is the bestest…ah… but you're also the best too Suikazan-sama!"

Suikazan laughed heartedly and ruffled Mei's hair. Then he looked at Ao Oni next, "So you're the infamous Ao Oni."

Ao Oni looked downwards, "Y-yes sir…" the pain in his voice was clearly evident.

"But!" I didn't know why I suddenly butted in, "His name isn't Ao Oni, though!"

Everyone's eyes were on me now. I could feel pressure in my chest, and it was harder to maintain eye contact with Suikazan. For some reason, his presence demanded respect and I had a small tinge of discomfort settling in the back of my mind.

"Heh, it doesn't matter what my real name is, Suikazan-sama." Ao Oni nonchalantly waved off my outburst.

I was about to butt in once more and try to comfort Ao Oni but Suikazan spoke out before I had the chance.

"Oh?" Suikazan looked between Ao Oni and me, "Oy kid," he crouched down to Ao Oni's level and used his hand to cover his lips. His eyes had a mischievous glint to them. "Are you two…" he raised his pinky, and immediately that roused Ao Oni's and Mei's reaction.

I just gave the trio a blank stare. Cocking my head to the left, what the hell did the _pinky finger_ stand for?

"Wh-wh-wh-what?" Ao Oni's face turned crimson, he pointed at me accusingly, "I don't even know this stupid kid!"

 _Eh…stupid?_ I scowled. _This brat!_

"Ohhh…" Suikazan's voice raised a couple decibels, "But you were so brave trying to save this kid's life." He was now snickering when Ao Oni's lips trembled.

"I- I was just repaying my debt!" Ao Oni clumsily blurted.

"Th-th-that's right!" Mei added after Ao Oni. "No way Hami-chan is… is… _that_ … with Fish head here!"

"What did you call me Bunhead?" Ao Oni growled out.

Suikazan was just laughing in the background, provoking both of them to argue more. I could only sigh tirelessly, seriously, some adult he was.

I looked at Ao Oni who was looking smugly at Mei when Mei was trying hard to think of a comeback. Suffice to say, she resorted to calling him a fish head once more.

I took note that Ao Oni's hair was slowly drying, but his clothes were still quite soggy. Did he jump into the river after me? My cheeks started to feel warm, strangely I felt happy knowing that despite all of my re-runs, Ao Oni never seemed to change.

"Ah-choo." I sneezed. I rubbed my dripping nose with my sleeves.

Suikazan finally finished teasing Mei and Ao Oni. He acknowledged me by asking, "What's your name Little Hero?"

I was confused. A hero? I wasn't a hero; it was weird that he was calling me that. Also, I wanted to find out Ao Oni's name but it seemed no one was interested in knowing his name, which kind of made me feel …not angry, but broody?

Suikazan continued on, "Mei-chan told me that you thought I was drowning." At that, he started to laugh, "Hahaha, me? Drowning?" He laughed some more, "Imagine that!"

"Ah… well…" I stammered, as I was speechless from his over-the-top jolly personality. Well, I guess he was messing around with me when he kept claiming I was swimming for some leisurely purpose.

I laughed sheepishly, "Luckily, you were there to save me Suikazan-sama." I craned my neck upwards to meet his eyes, "My name is Harumi Yuki."

"Yu-Yuki?" Ao Oni stopped arguing with Mei and looked at me in shock after hearing my last name.

"Ho?" Suikazan's demeanor changed slightly...darker? But I convinced myself that that was just my hyperactive imagination playing around with my mind. "A Yuki kid…" He murmured more to himself.

Suddenly, Suikazan patted my back. "Can't have a Yuki kid come home in wet clothes, now can we?" His voice was cheery, but it also seemed painfully shallow.

"Eh? Tou-chan said that he'll take Hami-chan home." Mei stated.

"Wahaha!" Suikazan laughed lightly, "No need to trouble the old man, Mei-chan! I can easily take Hami-chan home."

It was weird, how Suikazan suddenly forced himself to take the duty of babysitting a random kid he just met. I couldn't trust him fully after the sociopath tried to abduct me after seeing my Clan's symbol. "It-it's alright, Suikazan-sama!" My voice was a bit high-pitched, and I hope he didn't hear my racing beating heart.

"Wahaha!" Suikazan laughed once more, "Nonsense!" He grabbed my small wrist and started to pull me away from Mei and Ao Oni.

Wh-what was happening? My mind was racing, trying to put two and two together.

"U-um… Suikazan-sama, my home is the other way." I said as I tried to pull my wrist free of his tight grasp.

"Hm?" Suikazan looked back to me and gave me a wide smile. I shivered as I noticed how sharp and pointy his teethes were. His teethes looked more menacing than Ao Oni's. "You should at least change out of your wet clothes."

 _Huh?_ I really didn't get his motive. He did technically save my life, and I wasn't sure if I should be more assertive with rejecting his help…although, that may seem rude and Mei seemed to revere him to be a great man. I couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling that came about from his sudden mood shift, but maybe I was being paranoid?

"Ehhh!" Mei suddenly bounced next to me, "you're going to visit Suikazan-sama's house?" She looked at Suikazan with big round watery eyes, "May I please come too, Suikazan–sama?"

Suikazan scratched the back of his head before he gave a defeated sigh, "Well…It is getting dark…" He trailed on before he grinned playfully and patted Mei's head fondly again. "Alright, I guess I can't say no to Terumi's kid, now can I?" Looking at Mei's beaming face, I felt slightly at eased that perhaps his sudden dark demeanor was just my imagination after all.

We began our walk towards Suikazan's house, but I then felt something was missing. I looked back and saw Ao Oni looking at our retreating figure from the distance. Suddenly, he looked so much smaller than before. Suikazan's grip around my wrist had loosened enough for my hand to slip out.

"Hami-chan?" Mei called out to me curiously.

I ran back to Ao Oni. He stared at me with clear confusion reflected in his round yellow eyes. We stood in a staring match for a short moment.

 _CRAP!_ I thought to myself. I moved without thinking.

"What do you want?" Ao Oni's voice snapped me back from my own self-induced panic.

"Uhm…" I hesitated. Everything was happening so quickly. I almost forgot about the killer that was going after him tonight as well! _Ugh…the killer_ , I reminded myself bitterly. Again, this felt like it was poor timing to mention about the killer. "You should come with us." I finally said.

"Eh? Hami-chan!" Mei exclaimed as she and Suikazan both walked towards Ao Oni and me.

I looked back to see Suikazan and Mei, the sun had finally gone to sleep. The stars were peeking out one by one. If I couldn't warn Ao Oni now, maybe I could buy some time while we were with Suikazan to find another opportunity to warn Ao Oni about his killer.

"Suikazan-sama, can he come with us?" I asked meekly.

"Wh-what are you talking about? You shouldn't trouble Suikazan-sama like that!" Ao Oni face was flustered.

"Aren't you curious what Suikazan-sama's house looks like?" I smiled innocently, it seemed Ao Oni also respected this man greatly. If Ao Oni were willing to come with us, I would just need to worry about convincing Suikazan. _Come on… take the bait_. I pleaded inwardly.

"Oiii…" Suikazan sighed, "This isn't some tour you know…"

"Suikazan-sama!" My voice was a bit louder than I intended. "Ah-ah-choo." I sneezed and shivered when a cool breeze past through my wet robe. Sniffling, my voice turned a bit nasally, "He's my friend!" I declared.

"F-friend?" Mei stammered.

"Wh-what?" Ao Oni mirrored Mei's reaction.

I couldn't say that a killer was going to kill Ao Oni as I didn't have any credible source for my information. I doubted an adult would be tricked by my thinly veiled lies as well. Also, it might just be my imagination, but somehow I could see that Suikazan cared little about Ao Oni's welfare.

Suikazan stared at me with blank eyes; I felt nervous under his emotionless gaze. He suddenly drew out a long sigh. "Alright." He agreed, and my heart instantly jumped in joy. "Kid, you're welcome to come, if ya want."

Ao Oni stood speechlessly, his lips parted open. I lightly giggled at his dumbfounded expression.

To be honest with you, I wasn't being a 100% honest with myself. It was true that I wanted to save Ao Oni from his killer, but my first reason as to why I invited Ao Oni was simply because when I saw him getting left behind, my heart told me to reach out to him. Simple and useless, I know. Call me sentimental, but being left behind sucked. Trust me, Jade experienced that far too many times to recount them all.

I reached for his hand and tugged him lightly. His hand felt very familiar, and with good reason considering, he did drag me to a lot of places the last time I met him. He instantly snapped out of his stupor, and he quickly withdrew his hand from my grasp. "I-I can walk by myself!"

"Okay." I began to walk next to him, and I wasn't sure if he just naturally walked like this, but his shoulders seemed a bit stiff.

Suikazan mumbled something akin to "babysitting" and left it at that.

I looked up to see the moon mocking me, challenging me to see if I could live through its' domain. All my memories of the killer showing no mercy flooded my mind. All my memories of having to see Ao Oni be inflicted with prejudice ached at me. _No more._ I thought angrily.

I heard Mei's soft voice calling out to me, yet I did not heed her, "Hami-chan?"

I gritted my teeth, and my eyes burned with unbridled rage. _This time…this time, I will stop the killer._ I looked at Suikazan's large back. _And he was going to help me whether he agrees to it or not._


	9. Pretense

Fuguki Suikazan's house was very modest. By that, I mean that his house was basically a hut. It took a while for us to arrive at his home, by then my borrowed yellow robe was practically all dried. He lived in a secluded area; the forest critters were his neighbors.

"Well, there she is," Suikazan stated.

Mei and Ao Oni both started to explore in and around his hut.

Suikazan and I just sighed tiredly as the two energetic kids started to poke random ordinary objects outside his hut.

"Uhm…Suikazan…sama." I tried to get his attention.

"Hmm?" Suikazan hummed in reply.

I gulped before I finally plunged in and asked the question that was itching at me to know, "How did you fall asleep in the river?"

"Oh?" He gave a short pause before he scratched the back of his head and laughed sheepishly. "I was fishing, and the weather was so nice – I probably fell into the river while sleeping without realizing it!"

I stared at him dumbfounded. Was that even possible? "Oh…" He was such a weird man; remind me again why Mei and Ao Oni seemed to greatly respect this guy?

"Speaking of which…" His eyes suddenly bulged out, and his mouth gaped open. "Oh no!"

Caught off guard, my body tensed up, "W-what is it?"

His head suddenly bowed low, "I lost my fishing rod …"

"Oh…" Why did I take this man seriously?

"That fishing rod cost me 500 Ryo!"

"Oh…" I repeated once more. I honestly didn't understand the currency value in this world. My family seemed to be well off, so I never really thought much about it.

He heaved a great sigh that rivaled even the most tragic man in the world; "You're a spoiled brat so you don't know the value of 500 Ryo…" He then patted my head, "must be nice to be a naive kid."

I felt a vein bulging out of my forehead. Being called a kid, and being treated like a kid, when in fact, I was actually an adult trapped in a kid's body was starting to grate on my nerves. I never realized how condescending adults were just because you were younger than them! I glared at him as best as I could, but I didn't think he paid much mind to my glares. I worked at a minimum wage part time job all my life – trust me when I say I knew how it felt like to be in a financial dump.

I could never say that to him of course.

Grating my teeth, I forced my lips to upturn into an awkward smile and let the comment pass.

"WOAH! Suikazan-sama! Suikazan-sama!" Mei's voice called out to him from inside his hut.

"Come on, little lady." Suikazan looked at me, "Your little friends are calling us." He laughed merrily.

When I entered Suikazan's hut, it was very different from Ao Oni's …shed. It was definitely more welcoming, and he had all of his essentials. There were also weirdly shaped weapons and scrolls strewed across the floor and on his large cot. I involuntarily gulped when I saw how sharp and big his weapons were. It was sort of intimidating – kind of makes it feel like I had entered a psychopath's house.

Both Mei and Ao Oni were staring at a large bandaged up …club…thing? I didn't know what it was. But the way Mei and Ao Oni eyes were filled with awe and interest, perhaps it was something cool?

"I wouldn't touch Samehada if I were you." Suikazan's laughed in such a light manner that his advice really couldn't be taken seriously.

"Ehhhh…" Mei whined, "Why not?"

"Samehada doesn't like being touched by a stranger." Suikazan walked towards this _Samehada_ and patted the thing as if it was some sort of a sentient pet. I could definitely say that Suikazan had a few loose screws.

"So only you can use him, Suikazan – sama?" This time, Ao Oni spoke up. His eyes were attentive as if he was ready to devour whatever information Suikazan was about to say.

"Right now, yes." Suikazan answered, "but if there is someone stronger than me, then Samehada will serve the stronger master."

I seriously didn't know what they were going about.

"That's…crazy!" Ao Oni blurted out.

"Haha," Suikazan chortled lightly, he patted Samehada and said, "This bastard is only loyal to a strong master."

"Strong…" Ao Oni murmured quietly.

"That means you're super strong Suikazan – sama!" Mei chimed in.

"Wahaha," Suikazan rubbed the back of his head with a great giant grin plastered across his face, "Mei – chan, you're my favorite kid outta the three of ya!"

 _Oy. We're right here._ Ao Oni and I looked at each other unimpressed with Suikazan's comment.

Suikazan carried Samehada and strapped it on his back. It really did look like a giant bandaged up club. "Well, it seems the little lady here is all dried! Let's make our way to the Yuki Compound."

I looked down at my robe and indeed the robe was just damped now. It almost seemed pointless to even come to Suikazan's hut in the first place. "A-ah-choo!" I sneezed again. God, I hope I didn't catch a cold.

"Okay!" Mei and I chorused.

I looked out the small window; the world was basked in darkness. I felt my heartbeat drummed at a slightly faster pace. I looked back to see Suikazan's jolly face. Would he help us if the killer attacked Ao Oni? Would the killer even approach Ao Oni while all four of us were present? What if the killer decided to kill Ao Oni after I go home? My stomach churned in discomfort, feeling less and less confident of my paltry plans.

We left the hut, and Mei was chattering about _Shinobis_ and _Jutsus_ – so basically things I had no idea about. The forest was eerily quiet, only the loud crunching of leaves and small brittle twigs breaking echoed.

My walk started to get sluggish, and I bit my bottom lip lightly to stifle my pathetic cry bubbling from my chest.

"Oy."

I snapped out of my trance and looked towards the source of the voice. Ao Oni was walking beside me. He gave me a weird scrunched up look. Up ahead, Mei was still talking away while Suikazan laughed heartily at whatever comment Mei was making.

"Y-yes." I managed to choke out.

"Are…" Ao Oni paused; he looked away from me while he rubbed his left arm. "You're not going to faint on us?"

"Huh?" my intelligent reply for the day.

"You…look pale…" Ao Oni said, "and…ah…" he paused again and then suddenly he glared at me while crossing his arms, "I don't want to be in charge of carrying your sorry ass."

It took me a while to register what Ao Oni just said, but it might be just my imagination. Was Ao Oni worried about me? I touched my cheek and realized how clammy my hands were. "I'm…" _I'm not all right. I'm scared_. "I'm alright…"

I looked at Ao Oni and recalled a memory:

" _There's one thing that I absolutely hate in this world." He glared at me with so much malice and fury, "liars."_

"I'll be alright." I corrected myself. "Thanks for asking, Ao –" I quickly clamped my lips; I still didn't know his name!

A period of awkward silence settled between us. Ah, awkward silence, my old friend.

"Suikazan – sama?" Mei inquired.

Suikazan stopped in the middle of the clearing, and he had his hand on Samaheda's hilt.

"Come out!" Suikazan ordered to no one in particular.

My body stiffened, and I started to look feverishly around. Was the killer here?

The forest stilled.

I held my breath in fear that a single movement would bring forth destruction.

A moment. A very long moment has passed.

As if the forest finally gave up on playing the silent game with us, its trees started to rustle gently.

_THUMP._

Within a blink of an eye, a dark clothed killer attacked Suikazan with a weapon. Suikazan somehow already had his Samehada ready to block the assault.

"Heh. So you finally showed yourself."

The killer kicked off of Samehada and put some distance between us.

"So." Suikazan's body was relaxed as if he was having a conversation with an old friend, "Mind telling me why you were stalking these kids?"

The killer still didn't reply. A dark cloth covered their face, and the moonlight was not enough to even discern their gender.

Suikazan just sighed, "Well, I guess I have to kill you then." He started to stretch his legs and his arms. "I haven't had a good fight in a while, so I hope you'll entertain me." He had his hands on his lower back and started to bend slightly back and something popped in his back. "Samehada was bugging me for a good fight, ya see."

"Fuguki." The killer's voice was deep; he was definitely a male.

"Oh, so you can speak." Suikazan retorted.

Seriously, what was with people goading other people on in fights?

"Why are you protecting these kids?"

Suikazan chuckled, and he suddenly pointed at me with his thumb, "Well, this little lady's my meal ticket. The other kids are just a tag – along"

The killer made direct eye contact with me. My body tensed as memories of the killer was relieved.

"How much would you want for the Yuki kid?"

It took a while for my brain to process what the killer was requesting. I looked at Ao Oni who was gritting his teeth. I looked at Mei who had her arms closely to her chest looking uncertain of this situation.

The only word I managed to muster was, "W-why…" All this time…all this time, I thought the killer was after Ao Oni. I wanted to run but my legs stayed rooted to the spot. I felt cold sweat running down my back. Did that mean that if I had never met Ao Oni… if I had never met Mei… would they have never been in this mess in the first place? I clutched my chest, was he also the one who killed me back in the alley when I was trapped with that crazy bastard?

I felt my eyes burn, and something wet sluggishly dragged itself down my cheeks.

If I never met Ao Oni, I shut my eyes tightly; he would have never been killed.

_It was my fault!_

_I was being a nuisance._

_Ah. If I died now…I wouldn't have to drag those kids in._

_It was my fault._

All this time, I was just making things worse. "Haha…" I laughed in self-pity. My legs shook. I could feel the burning pain spreading through my throat. All my efforts were basically useless.

"Su-SUIKAZAN – SAMA" Mei's voice cut through my despair. "WOULD NEVER BETRAY HAMI-CHAN!"

I looked through my watery lenses; Mei was glaring at the killer.

"Suikazan – sama is the bestest ninja there is! He won't let bad guys like you," at this Mei pointed at the killer accusingly, "hurt my friend!"

Suikazan sighed, "Well, I guess I can't disappoint Terumi's kid. You heard her." He raised Samehada over his shoulders; "I can't let _bad guys like you_ hurt her friend." His comment was said light-heartedly.

"Foolish." The killer said in a monotone.

"Heh." Suikazan scoffed before his body blurred out of my vision and reappeared in front of the killer. "Eat this!" He swung the massive club towards the killer, and the killer quickly backflipped.

Samehada hit the ground and immediately the ground broke and several large chunks of rocks flew outwards.

My eyes widen in shock, how…strong was he? How was that possible?

"A little advice," Suikazan spoke out loud, "the longer the fight, the more my Samehada feeds." Again, his body blurred out of my vision and reappeared right in front of the killer. He swung Samehada over his head with ease, "So try not to die so quickly!" Again, he swung down and more rubble blasted outwards from the impact. As if gravity was non-existent, the killer and Suikazan traded blow for blow in mid-air. Too fast for my eyes to follow, I stared in awe.

The quick dance ended with the killer being kicked on the back and crashed to the ground. Suikazan instantly followed up with a downward swing of his club.

The killer quickly rolled away – missing the impact once more.

"Tricky little bastard." Suikazan cursed.

The killer stood apart from a distance between us once more. Suddenly, he snapped his fingers and four more darkly clothed people appeared.

"Oi, Oi, Oi." Suikazan heaved in annoyance, "You had back-ups?" He suddenly laughed raucously, "Good. Good! Samehada will feast tonight!"

Again, Suikazan easily defended off four new incomers and the killer. Suikazan crouched down and clasped his hands together. He made a weird hand sign and yelled, " _Hair Needle Senbon_!"

I had to rub my eyes to believe what I was seeing. Suikazan's hair started to rise and each individual hair strands were pointed towards the enemies. The hair strands launched out of Suikazan's scalp and it quickly started to shower down on the enemies.

The killers all took out a black short weapon and began to deflect the hair strands.

_Clang._

_Clang._

_Clang._

The hair strand was hard enough to be deflected by the weapon and one of the hair strand lodged firmly into the ground. I stood aghast, was this magic? Was this some illusion? How was that – what –?

I looked at Suikazan's hair return back to normal, his hair lost no volume after that attack. I realized perhaps I was in a whole different universe where one's hair can be used as weapons? I immediately felt ridiculous to even entertain that notion despite seeing the proof right before my eyes.

The killer's deep voice resounded, " _Water Release: Hiding in the Mist"_ He took off his facial cloth and started to blow out steam from his mouth. The area was instantly covered in fog. I could no longer see Mei, Ao Oni, or Suikazan.

_Shing._

_Shing._

_Shing._

I jumped when I heard more metal-on-metal clashing against each other somewhere in the dense fog. Any one of them could kill me! I started to wander around the foggy area when I heard a loud high – pitched scream.

_Mei!_

I quickly ran…randomly. I didn't know where I was going. "Mei!" I called. Perhaps it was not smart to draw attention to myself, but if the killer wanted me, and Mei got killed because of me… I could never forgive myself! "Mei!" I called again.

I approached the two dark figures, and my pace quickened – not thinking for a moment that it could be someone else. I lucked out when I immediately saw Mei on the ground, cowering behind her arms. "He-Help me!" Mei screamed.

"Mei!" I immediately drew the attention of one of the killer's allies towards me. They held a sharp weirdly shaped dagger.

I gulped. My body stood rigid.

The killer's ally looked at me. They mechanically turned towards me and started to approach me sluggishly.

I stood still.

"Ha-Hami..." Mei cried, "S-stop!" Mei quickly got up but fell back down on her hands and knees. Tears were bathing her cheeks. "Move legs!" She begged. "Move! Move! Move!" She was so desperate, why was she so desperate?

My lips quirked up awkwardly. So this was how I was going to die.

I looked at Mei; she was baring her fangs and sobbed, "Hami – chan! R-run!"

Really, this girl. Even though she was in danger, how could she still find the courage to worry about me?

My lips parted slightly, I wanted to say something to soothe her worries, but none came. I looked at the killer's ally who was now in front of me.

They raised their black dagger, ready to make the final blow.

"No! No! No!" Mei panicked. "HARUMI!" She screamed. "SOMEONE SAVE US!" and she begged.

I hated dying. It was never painless. I closed my eyes. I was determined that if fate would allow me to have one more rerun, my fist clenched tightly, I wouldn't drag any of them into my problem. I swear on it!

_BOOM!_

The air pressure changed, and the sudden gust of wind knocked me off my feet.

"Oof." I bit out as I fell down on my butt.

The mist instantly cleared, and I noticed Ao Oni was also on the ground looking just as clueless as me. Suikazan was still holding off the original killer and three of his buddies' attacks.

"Harumi-chan." A familiar voice was heard. Standing between the killer and me, I saw short russet hair ruffling from the wind.

"T-Terumi-san!" I chocked out.

Masato Terumi came into the scene.

Suikazan chuckled loudly, "Now, now, look what we have here."

Masato quickly punched the killer's ally in front of me. The killer's ally immediately flew an impressive distance away from us. They fell with a thud but quickly got up ready to fight once again. I remembered him with a calm face, but right now I could feel goose bumps rising from my skin. Masato's face was devoid of any emotion, but his voice was low and stern. "Mei Terumi." He stared at his tears-stricken daughter. "Your mother wanted me to ground you for not coming home even though it's past your curfew."

Huh? Did he not understand this situation? There were killers trying to kill everybody. Yet, he was lecturing his daughter!

"T-tou-chan!" Mei cried, she immediately reached her arms towards him. Masato walked towards Mei and lifted her up the ground. "Tou-chan! Tou-chan!" Mei cried, "Hami-chan…Hami-chan was going… to… to…" Mei couldn't finish her sentence as she bawled her eyes out. Her face was buried against her father's chest.

The thick air pressure was released the moment Masato comforted his daughter. "I know, sweetie. I know." He cooed his daughter while patting her head. "Harumi-chan will be safe now. I promise."

"Hate to break your father-daughter reunion, Terumi. But we kind of have a problem here." Suikazan voiced in, after swinging his club at the killer and his group away from him.

"Who are they?" Masato asked. Her father was still carrying Mei, and her cries quieted down to a small sniffle.

"Dunno." Suikazan casually shrugged. "Seems to be interested in the little lady over there."

"Harumi – chan?" Masato asked in surprised. Both adults looked at me, and instantly my body shrank under their gaze. "I see…" Masato finally said. The group of killers finally reoriented themselves and circled around us like hungry hyenas. Slow and calculating. They bared their weirdly shaped daggers at us.

Masato finally heaved a deep sigh, before he walked towards me and dropped Mei next to me. "I just came back from a long mission…" Masato clenched his teeth. "One after another…" He turned to the group of killers and cracked his knuckles. "Oy." He called to one of the killers in the middle. "For ruining my perfect date night with my lovely wife, I'm going to beat the hell outta ya."

"…" The killer did not say anything.

"…" Suikazan looked at Masato and face palmed himself.

I seriously couldn't understand these adults' mentality at all. They were outnumbered, and these killers were not merciful. How could they both be calm and joke around like this?

Something clicked in my mind. Could it be that they were absolutely confident that these killers were not a threat to them?

I stared at the two broad back that stood confidently in front of me. I involuntarily gulped. Just how strong were they?

"Kukuku…" One of the killers started to laugh sinisterly. He took off his mask and stepped closer to us. "Really. You must have the devil's luck, Hime – sama *."

I instantly recognized this man.

Unable to tear my eyes away from the man's face, I uttered, "Wh…y?" My throat was suddenly very dried.

"Really, Yasuko." The killer drawled. "You should've killed Hime – sama the moment you saw her."

"Why…?" My voice was starting to return back to its normal pitch.

"My apologies, Shun – sama." The other killer spoke, the one who got punched in the face by Masato. His voice sounded a bit nasally.

"All will be forgiven as long as Hime – sama and her dogs don't leave this forest tonight." The unmasked killer continued nonchalantly.

I finally found the strength to stand up. I couldn't believe my eyes. I couldn't believe my ears. Stop it. Stop it. Why? Why? This must be a bad dream. It couldn't be him! It can't be him!

There was only one person who ever called me Hime – sama.

"WHY?" I finally screamed.

The unmasked killer finally stared directly at me. His icy eyes penetrated my very core, "Because you were born, Hime – sama." He spat out. His words froze the very heart he had once helped melt.

My voice was lost within me; I would have never expected him. He was a good man incapable of doing such horror.

"U…uncle…" I finally gasped. "Not you." My voice, small and pained.

Uncle Shun's lips slowly curved upwards. "Good evening, Hime – sama." He gave me a mocked bow.


	10. Decisions

_I remembered, when I had realized that I was in a different world with a different body, I didn't want to interact with any of my supposed family members. There were whispers about me filling the corridors of the Yuki compound, but I never paid any attention to it._

_I just didn't care._

_I wanted out._

_When my cousins came into the playroom, I laughed at their poor attempt to bridge any connection with me. Couldn't they see? I wanted to be left alone. I wanted them to stop reminding me that I was no longer Jade._

_But what did they see?_

_They saw a meek awkward little girl who was incapable of higher thoughts such as an existential crisis._

_But, they soon gave up on trying to interact with me. They just babysat me to make sure that I didn't wander off or hurt myself._

_Except for Uncle Shun._

_Uncle Shun was a very particular man. He was the younger brother of my mother, and he had two hyperactive daughters – whom I had dubbed Lefty and Righty. He had icy blue eyes like my mother. He had short ebony hair that contrasted his pale face. His build was lean, and I had never seen him slouch in my entire three years of seeing him. He was a funny character as I had often seen him spend time with his daughters in the compound's garden. Instantly, you could tell that he must have been a loving father as his daughters held him in great esteem. You could see the love the twins and his wife had for him in their eyes._

_When I first met him, I immediately ignored him._

" _Hime-sama!" He cried. "My sweet, sweet niece ignoring her poor uncle! My heart breaks!" He theatrically clutched his chest._

_I cringed. First thing in the morning and this guy was giving me a headache._

_I felt a heavy hand on my head, and he lightly ruffled my hair to a messy mop. My eyes twitched in irritation; he was so annoying! I gave him my best glare as I combed my hair neatly back to its original style._

" _Haha, Hime-sama, if you continue to frown like that, you'll have wrinkles by the time you're ten!" He exclaimed in a pseudo-serious tone._

_I sighed. He was annoying. I also didn't know why he was the only one who called me Hime – sama, and I didn't want to ask anyone. I was trying to stay aloof._

_A period of silence soon settled comfortably for me before Uncle Shun shattered the peace with his annoying voice._

" _Hime – sama," I was surprised by how soft spoken he could be. I didn't think that was possible._

_I looked at him instead of replying and waited for him to continue._

" _Onee – sama* is worried about you."_

_My chest constricted painfully, but I shook away the discomfort. I didn't care about my mother. She wasn't my real mother anyway; the thought left an unpleasant taste in my mouth._

" _If something is bothering you, Hime – sama," at that he set his warm, and gentle hand on the crown of my head, "I'll be here to listen to you." His smile wasn't the big goofy grin he would often have plastered across his face when he was with his daughters. The smile he gave me was kind, and tender._

_I felt my cheeks grow warm. It was because of Uncle Shun's tireless attempt to get me to open up to him – that all my repressed emotions spilled the night my mother burned her arm, seeing as I stupidly tried to lift the boiling pot of soup._

_After that episode, when I saw Uncle Shun in the playroom to babysit me, the first thing I did was greeted him._

" _G-good morning, Uncle…" I couldn't maintain eye contact with him, fearing that he would reject me after years of rejecting him._

_But instead of rejection, I got a warm and melodious, "Good morning, Hime –sama."_

_He didn't ask why I suddenly had a change of heart. He didn't ask about my mother's burned arm, but I supposed he could hazard a guess._

_I pulled out a book from my bookshelves – it was a book about ninjas saving princesses. I sat down next to him, awkwardly hugging the book to my chest._

_I wanted to know about my family better – not just my immediate family – but my relatives as well. If I was going to live my life as Harumi, I wanted to create bonds with my family. I knew a lot about Uncle Shun and his family, as he often would revel me in funny stories over these years of spending time with him._

_I knew he liked to read history books of Kirigakure._

_I knew he hated pickled plums but loved Mizu dumplings._

_I knew that he had a playful side similar to my father._

_I knew that he was a man filled with love._

_It didn't matter if I didn't want to get to know him. When you were forced to spend time with someone as chatty and as expressive as Uncle Shun, you would retain some information about Uncle Shun unconsciously._

" _W-will you read this with me, Uncle Shun?" I asked, while my gaze was firmly fixed on my lap. I clutched the book closer to my chest. This was so incredibly awkward for me. But this was what kids did with adults when they wanted to bond, right? I was not used to acting like a child it seemed._

_I gulped nervously when uncle Shun chuckled quietly. I saw his hand grabbing the book from me, and my body relaxed as the book slipped out of my grasp. "Of course, Hime – sama."_

_Uncle Shun and I read together; his voice acting skill was much better than my father's._

{+}

I blinked away my memories of Uncle Shun. The man in front of me couldn't be Uncle Shun. Surely, surely, there must be some mistake!

"U-uncle…" My voice was breaking, "Uncle, I don't understand…"

My uncle stood in front of the four other killers. His eyes were cold, and all that remained of the goofy uncle I had come to admire shattered in front of my eyes.

"Oy, oy, oy." Suikazan gave out an exasperated sigh, "If this is some sort of clan's affair then I'm out."

Clan's affair? I didn't understand. I didn't get it. The Yuki Clan… was Suikazan implying that there were problems within my family? I never noticed anyone treating me awfully! I…never noticed anything about what was going on in my family! In fact, if I did notice, I probably turned a blind eye to it.

This time, Masato sighed, "Harumi-chan."

I looked towards Masato, my eyes were searching for answers on his face, but of course there were none. Masato had stared at me before he covered his eyes with his hand, "Harumi – chan, normally there is an unwritten rule in Kirigakure that whatever problems clans have – the Kirigakure shinobis will not interfere in their matters."

Tears started to well up in my eyes, what was Masato saying? "So…" I blinked away my tears, "Uncle Shun will kill me?" My voice ended in a whisper. It was strange. I was not scared of the prospect of dying; my heart was aching for a different matter.

I trusted uncle Shun. In this world of uncertainty, my mother, my father, and uncle Shun somehow became my pillars of support. I truly trusted my uncle. It was strange how betrayal could cut me so deeply than my fear of death.

I thought uncle Shun trusted me too. I bit my bottom lip to stifle a sob. "Uncle Shun… will kill me…" I said again in a whisper. How many times must I say it until it will feel more real and visceral?

 _You have no one to blame but yourself, Jade._ My inner voice returned with a vengeance. _You couldn't trust anyone in your old life, precisely because they would all betray you in the end._ The voice laughed. _What made you think Harumi's life would be any different?_

I hugged myself in hopes to comfort my aching heart; my nails dug into my forearms.

I felt a heavy pat on my shoulder; I looked up to see Masato smiling at me. "Harumi – chan, I promised my daughter that I would protect you."

Another tear dropped from my eyes, but before it rolled down to my chin, Masato wiped away the teardrop with his thumb. "I promise you, Harumi – chan, that I will protect you."

No words came out of me; it seemed no words were necessary, as Masato had made up his mind already.

"Hami – chan…" I felt a warm, small hand grasping mine. I looked over to see Mei with puffy and red eyes gazing back at me.

I opened my mouth to say something, anything! But instead, a sharp gasp and fresh tears leaked out.

Suikazan groaned before he finally said, "I suppose if Terumi's going to deal with the Yuki clan after the fact, I won't mind lending the little lady a hand."

"Really, Suikazan, I can handle them on my own," Masato said smugly.

"Oy, oy, is that a challenge?" Suikazan growled playfully.

"Perhaps." Masato simply said.

That was the last of their conversation before the battle resumed once more.

"How dare you underestimate the might of the Yuki clan!" One of the masked men said. Were they my relatives too, I wondered? Did they all wish for my death?

"Ice Release: Raining Ice Spikes!" Someone cried in the midst of confusion and chaos.

The air became chilly, and I looked up to see sharp giant icicles forming over our heads.

My body tensed. There were way too many things happening at once. Things that should be impossible are possible in this world. I hated being in the dark; I just wanted answers. I wanted to know why uncle Shun wanted to kill me. I wanted to know what kind of bizarre universe I was trapped in. I wanted to know, why it had to be me that had this power to come back from the dead. I wanted to know; yet no answers were going to be given to me. I was going crazy, or was I already crazy?

"Mei – chan!" Masato cried, "Take Haru –"

_BOOM_

The ice spikes that were about to fall on us instantly got destroyed into tiny crystals. The small powdered ice gently settled into the clearing. Despite it being the middle of July, it was snowing.

"Harumi – chan!" A familiar cry, a voice I had never thought I would ever hear again. I looked back to the source of that comforting voice and another group of people immediately greeted me.

"K-kaa – san…" I whispered in acknowledgment. I stood up, and immediately I could recognize familiar faces. My mother was in the front and center of the group next to my grandfather. Behind them, my other relatives joined the fray.

My grandfather's voice cut through the battlefield, "Shun! What is the meaning of this?"

"Otou-sama," Uncle Shun sneered, "how nice of you to join us."

My mother ran up to me, "Kaa-" my voice got cut off as the familiar and loving warmth embraced my whole body.

"Oh, Haru-chan." My face was crushed against my mother's bosom. "Haru-chan!" My mother cried repeatedly. "I was so worried, Haru-chan."

My hands rose up, and clutch my mother's robe. I wanted to apologize immediately, maybe make some silly remark about my lack of maturity, but as soon as my mouth opened, no words came out. Instead, I cried. Being hugged by my mother brought me a sense of security. Security that I thought I would never find after all of my deaths.

"K-Kaa-san…" I mumbled as more tears flowed out of my eyes. "Kaa-san…" I repeated, and again. I wanted to get out of this nightmare. I wanted to wake up and realize that all of this pain and suffering was just a dream.

"Oh, Haru-chan," my mother stroked my hair soothingly, "You're safe now Haru – chan."

I clung onto that promise of safety desperately.

"What a touching family reunion." Uncle Shun gave us a snide remark.

"Shun…" My mother quietly muttered while she hugged me tighter. "Why are you doing this?"

"Kukuku…" A small rumble of laughter had erupted from Uncle Shun before his laughter transformed to an uncontrollable and maniacal fit of laughter, "HAHAHAHAHA!"

I shivered at his cold and cruel laughter. Where was the Uncle Shun that I had once cared for?

"Why…" Uncle Shun quietly mumbled before he chortled once more. "Why? WHY? WHY? WHY?" His voice echoed in the dark forest. "Onee-sama! Why indeed!"

"He's gone mad…" One of my cousins voiced out loud.

"Perhaps I am mad." Uncle Shun airily replied.

My grandfather's voice rose in volume, "Shun, if you give yourself up now, I will be merciful, and you will not be executed for your treasonous action!"

"Treason…?" Uncle Shun had muttered before he laughed raucously. "We choose death!"

As if Uncle Shun's declaration was a cue, there was a sudden loud boom. A dust cloud rose up, and I closed my eyes to protect them from the granulated dirt.

My mother hugged me tighter and whispered sweet promises of my safety.

Another boom resounded, this time much closer to us.

"Kyaa!" I screamed in fright. I peeked from my mother's protective arm, and there was a giant icicle lodged firmly into the soil right next to us.

"Yuki-san!" Masato leaped and landed right next to the giant icicle. "It's dangerous for the kids to stay here. Take them to safety."

"But –" My mother said before Masato interrupted her.

"Please, I will feel more confident fighting knowing that Mei-chan is away from the danger zone."

"I understand, Masato – san." She lifted me up from the ground, "Harumi, can you walk?"

I only was able to muster enough energy to nod. My mother gave me a warm smile and gently placed me on the ground. She grabbed my hand and squeezed reassuringly.

Mei came up next to me, and we were all about to leave before I tugged my mother's hand and we all came to a halt. She looked back at me in curiosity. "We can't leave him…" I mumbled as I pointed at Ao Oni who was still on the ground, shell-shocked. There was a pregnant pause, before my mother finally, but hesitantly agreed to bring Ao Oni with us.

{+}

We ran, leaving behind the screams and destruction behind us.

Dead leaves crunched, and twigs snapped, accompanied by our ragged breath.

"Augh!" I yelped in reflex as I tripped over what appeared to be a thick, and dead branch.

"Harumi-chan!" My mother quickly helped me up, and I winced as my ankle protested from my weight. "Are you alright?"

I looked at Mei and Ao Oni; both seem haggard and taking the time now to catch their breath. My mother was also breathing heavily, and I knew that we couldn't afford to stop running. I gave a quick nod and willed myself to ignore my sore ankle.

At least that was what I would've liked to do. As soon as I put my weight on my ankle, the sudden jolt of pain caused me to collapse back to the damped soil.

"Harumi-chan!" My mother quickly ran up to my ankle, when she prodded it, I winced immediately. It was painful. "Don't worry, sweetie." My mother said calmly, "Once we get home, we'll have this ankle fixed up!" She had a cheery smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

Guilt nagged me, as I realized that I just been causing nothing but trouble for everyone. "Sorry…" I muttered.

"It's okay, Hami-chan!" This time, Mei spoke up. I looked up and saw her ragged appearance. I felt a tinge of guilt once more.

"We…should get going…" Ao Oni finally said, he was quiet during the whole ordeal.

My mother nodded in agreement. Grabbing me by my armpits, she picked me up. They began to run through the thick forest once more, except it was a bit slower as my mother had extra weight to carry now.

We didn't get far.

"Ice Release: Ice Prison Technique!" Someone yelled.

Immediately columns of ice sprouted from the ground.

"Kyaa!" Mei screamed.

One of the ice columns sprouted underneath us, throwing my mother off balance. I lost my hold, and I flung to the ground alongside her.

"Oof." Falling on my side, I cringed from the sudden impact.

I looked back and realized several large ice columns were created sporadically around us.

One of the masked traitors approached us.

"Stay away!" My mother screamed. She was on her feet and used her body to shield the masked traitor from me.

"Kazue – sama." The masked traitor addressed my mother; their voice sounded so familiar – yet I couldn't put a face to their voice.

"Why? Why are you doing this?" My mother cried desperately.

The air grew tense; my body locked up as I could only stare helplessly at my mother's back.

They finally sighed, "We must protect our own. This clan and the policy that binds us will eventually be our downfall."

"Downfall?" My mother's voice lost its initial edge.

"Shun – sama ensured us that he would make our clan great again – but his condition was that we must eliminate Kazue – sama, Harumi – sama, and Kazuo - dono before Shun - sama can take the rightful position as the head of our clan." There was a rigid pause, before they immediately added, "I apologize for this, Kazue – sama."

"You're crazy…" My mother's voice was just above a whisper.

"No. We are thinking about our future!" The masked traitor's voice filled with energy and grandeur. "This village and Kazuo - dono have stifled our potential! By giving up your heir, and revoking Kazuo – dono from the head position he took from you, Yuki – sama, and by passing the title onto Shun – sama –"

"SHUT UP!" My mother screamed.

"Yuki – sama, _surely_ , you should know what's best for the clan! _Surely_ , you would wish the best for the clan's future!"

"What's best for the clan?" My mother chuckled darkly. "What's best for the clan is to… is to kill Harumi, Otou – sama, and me *?" My mother shook her head slowly, "No, that isn't what's best for the clan. Otou – sama didn't step down from the clan head position because he accepted my wish to take care of Harumi – chan first!"

"Then he should've handed the position down to Shun – sama rather than give it to a woman who is not fit for this role!" They snipped out bitterly.

"I care about the clan too! I'm sure if Shun – chan spoke to us then –"

"WE WERE OUT OF OPTIONS!" They burst out. "The great, honorable, Kazuo - dono is growing senile as if he would listen to reason -"

"Do not speak of Otou – sama with disrespect." My mother finally spoke up in a loud and authoritative voice that I had never seen her use. "I care about this clan just as much as you do, but to kill us is not the answer for this!"

"Please, hea-" They started once more.

"We are done discussing this." My mother gritted out venomously. "Our clan has shed enough blood for the stability we have now. How dare you…" My mother's voice rose in ire. "How dare you ruin this time of peace and prosperity for our clan for such a selfish reason!"

"Stability? Peace? HAH!" They barked out viciously. "We are fighting for our justice! We are fighting for the right to retain our former glory! Not be dogs to the Mizukage and his council!"

My mind was swirling, there were too many things I didn't understand. I caught snippets of their conversation, and it seemed Uncle Shun planned to assassinate my mother, my grandfather, and me. I didn't understand how their death and mine would make the clan better? I didn't know why they seem to hate our current standing in society. We appear to be prosperous now compared to the people I saw outside of our compound. My mother's voice snapped me out of my dizzying thoughts.

"It looks like we cannot see eye to eye." My mother replied calmly.

"…" They shifted their stance and held out a weirdly shaped black dagger.

I choked from the sharp intake of my breath. What can I do? What could I do? I fervently looked back and forth between my mother and the masked traitor. What must I do? What should I do? My mind was racing trying to think of anything that I could do to safely take my mother, Mei, and Ao Oni out of this predicament. But of course, I had no options, not when I was so… _weak_.

_Unless…_

My ideas dangerously flirted with the notion of perhaps dying and "resetting" this scenario.

My hands were shaking, and my throat started to sear in pain. My heart palpitated, as my thoughts screamed: _I don't want to die_!

"Harumi – chan." My mother called out to me. I looked up to see my mother's back facing me, but her voice was gentle and calming. "No matter what anyone says, please…" I took a nervous gulp. "Fight for your life." My eyes widen in shock. "Fight to live on." My mother took a small pause. "And no matter what, don't give up."

"Kaa-…" My voice croaked out painfully.

"Mei – chan, and… Harumi's friend," My mother, called out to them, "will you please take Harumi away from here?"

I wanted to protest, but only fresh tears spilled out in reply. I didn't want to leave my mother behind.

"But -!" Mei was the first one to voice out her concern.

"Mei." Ao Oni cut her off. He walked towards me and settled his hand on my shoulder. "Let's go."

My gaze was set firmly on my mother's back despite my sight getting blurry; I didn't want to look away. I didn't want to leave. "Kaa –san!" I finally screamed out.

"Harumi – chan, please listen to your Kaa – san." My mother's voice shook a bit.

"Kaa – san…Kaa – san…" I could only blubber out her name. I had so much to say; yet my mind was drawing a blank. This time, I felt a stronger pull from both my shoulders. Ao Oni's hand was on one, and Mei's on the other.

"We'll protect Hami – chan!" Mei's voice finally regained her usual confidence, "but you have to come back safe!"

Ao Oni slipped one of his arms underneath the back of my knees, and the other was on my back. I felt my body lifted up from the ground. "Ao –"

"Fish head is going to carry you okay, Hami - chan?" Mei spoke to me in a gentle voice. "He should show his manliness at times, you know?"

"Shut up, Bun head." Ao Oni retorted quickly.

I struggled against his hold, "I can't leave Kaa - san -"

"Stupid! Your mother asked you to live. You have someone who values your life! Don't disrespect that!" He finally bit out.

I was stunned speechless by his sudden outburst. I felt my surroundings moving passed me and my mother's back started to get farther and farther away from me. All the choices that I could've chosen, all the choices that I could've made were slowly slipping away from my grasp.

I ran away.


	11. Stagnant

"S-Stop!" I finally mustered enough courage to say.

Ao Oni and Mei immediately halted in their tracks, both startled by my sudden outburst. They began to look around their surroundings fervently; Ao Oni clutched my body closer to his and gritted his teeth in nervousness. "Wh-what is it?" Ao Oni managed to stutter out.

"I…" Feeling hesitant at first, I took a deep breath and asked, "Could you please let me down?" There was a small pause before Ao Oni nodded curtly. He gently lowered my feet to the ground. I winced when my ankle throbbed angrily from the sudden weight.

They both stared at me expectantly to fill them in on why I asked them to stop. Wringing my fingers together, I said, "Y-you guys go on ahead."

"What?" Mei was the first one to react. "We can't leave without you, Hami – chan!"

Ao Oni stared at me with a blank expression.

"This whole thing…has nothing to do with you guys! You heard my uncle… _he wants me dead_ … not you guys." I bit my lower lip, trying to urge myself to control the tears that were threatening to spill out.

"Hami – chan, we promised your kaa – san that –" Mei started, but I quickly cut her off, not wanting to hear the rest of it.

"I can't leave kaa – san back there!" I finally blurted out my true intentions.

"She'll be alright, Hami – chan!" Mei tried to reassure me, but let's be real; there was no way she could possibly know for sure.

I shook my head not waiting for her to finish her attempt at comforting me, "I don't want to leave kaa – san there!" My voice turned hoarse, "I'm scared that they will –" I gulped trying to wet my drying throat, "that they'll kill her…" I was barely able to utter those words, as a wave of heavy emotion swept through me. My eyes started to burn, and my vision was growing blurry.

"And what can you do?" Ao Oni asked flatly.

"I can…I can… –" My eyes scanned the dead leaves and the broken twigs; I was trying to rack my brain for a suitable plan!

"You can't do anything." Ao Oni emphasized strongly.

Gritting my teeth angrily, I was unable to accept his brutal truth, "I can!" I exclaimed, while I desperately tried to think of what I could do, "I can…" My words trailed to a pause. _I can go back in time whenever someone kills me. I can change the future! I'm sure I can fix this!_ My mind screamed, but I tightened my lips to a close. There was no way I could say any of that.

Ao Oni sighed, "You're weak. You'll only be a nuisance." He harshly retorted.

My shoulders sagged in defeat, as I understood where he was coming from. He was right; all my previous deaths were a testament to the fact that I was weak and useless. I was only alive now by sheer luck. But still, just like how I couldn't abandon Ao Oni when I thought the killer was going after him, I couldn't leave my mother behind.

I took a steady breath in and willed myself to look at Ao Oni straight into his eyes. He stared right back with a defiant gaze. "I'm going back." I firmly said.

"Wait, wait, Hami – chan! Let's… let's think about this!" Mei grabbed my arm gently. She was annoying; _she was only a child_ , and yet she was treating me as if I wasn't capable of making my own decisions. I felt the pit of my gut bubbling violently.

"WHAT'S THERE TO THINK ABOUT?" I ripped my arm away from Mei's grasp. Mei took a small step back, her eyes telling me everything. A look of shock and a flash of hurt crossed her green, murky eyes.

 _I couldn't stop_. I was worried, I was frustrated, and I couldn't control the stress that was building up within me. "The only reason why you can even say that is because it's not your kaa-san!" I was breaking apart our friendship. I was crushing it, grinding it, and _I just couldn't stop_.

"I don't…" Mei's voice was strained; she was looking at me with watery eyes.

"You don't have anyone going after your family! You don't have anyone going after your life!" I continued to berate her. I realized that having a mother who cared and fretted about you was nice. I realized that when I abandoned my…no... When _Jade_ left her mother that was one of the biggest mistakes Jade had ever made. Every day, Jade regretted it, but Jade was too prideful to go back and apologize. I couldn't bear to lose Harumi's mother – I couldn't bear through the regret and the pain all over again!

"Oy, she's not saying any of that." Ao Oni finally spoke up. "Now's not the time for this!"

I chuckled in bafflement, "Not the time for this?" I could feel tears streaming down my cheeks, my head was hurting, and my cheeks felt flushed, "What would you understand? You don't have a family, do you? You can't understand how I feel!" The moment I blurted those words out, I felt disgusted with myself. _I couldn't stop_.

Ao Oni fell in silence, but Mei finally spoke up, "Hami – chan… that's… you're being mean…"

I bit my inner cheek, to try to stop myself from saying anything more, but it was to no avail. "Shut up." I gritted out. Ao Oni's eyes narrowed dangerously in response, but I ignored it. "I never asked for your help." _I couldn't stop_ from voicing out my ugly feelings. "You guys are so annoying! Just – just leave me alone!" I wanted to stop myself from hurting them further, but once the ball gets rolling, it just keeps hurtling faster to a downward spiral. "I mean," I gave a small derisive chortle, "we're not even friends." At that, Mei whimpered quietly to herself. "I don't even –" I felt a sharp pain on my right cheek. "Augh!" From the sudden pain and shock, I clumsily fell.

Cradling my right side cheek, I could feel the burning sensation. My initial anger was replaced with confusion as Ao Oni just punched my face.

"Hami – chan!" Mei called out in concern.

I looked through my watery eyes; he really didn't hold back with his punch.

"When people are annoying and crazy, you punch them to help them cool down." Ao Oni simply said as he punched the palm of his hand twice.

What? I stared at him dumbfounded. "Y-you can't just punch someone to calm them down! That's – that's…" I didn't know how to say the word barbaric.

"But you've stopped spouting out shit." Ao Oni smirked triumphantly.

"Yah! ‘Cos you punched my face!" I shrieked indigenously.

"Hami – chan, are – are you alright?" Mei meekly asked, and she was still maintaining an appropriate distance from me. Normally, she would be right by my side getting all touchy feely with my injury.

I looked towards Mei and noticed how her eyes were slightly glossy. Immediately, I felt ashamed of myself for taking out my anger and frustration at them, at her.

Although I hated to admit this, Ao Oni was right. The swift punch to my face was unexpected and interrupted my reckless feelings. I took the time to reflect that I was stupid. Even if I did go back, what could I have possibly achieved? I would probably just distract my mother, and perhaps may even cause her terrible injury, or worse, death. The best thing for me right now, although I hated to admit it, is to hide in safety, and pray that my mother will come back to me safely. I looked at Mei who had shrunk her body as small as she could. I berated myself once more, feeling ashamed of the fact that I unnecessarily hurt her. I looked back at Ao Oni; he didn't seem fazed by my words, but I still felt like a bitch for calling out that he was an orphan. _If someone said those words to me, I would …I would…want to punch them in the face too_ , I thought sardonically.

All three of us sat still in silence, what could I possibly say or do in this situation? I irreversibly just destroyed the fragile relationship I had with them with my own two hands.

 

_"Just apologize to him, Jade." She said to me sternly._

_"Ehhh…Why! It was all his fault, so I had every right to say that!" I said haughtily._

_"You're going to end up losing a lot of close people that way." She gently lectured me._

_"That doesn't matter! I just only need you –"_

 

I forced my memory to disappear; I hated remembering anything about her. Peeking a glance towards Mei and Ao Oni, they were awkwardly looking away from me. Standing up slowly, I flinched slightly from my sore ankle and willed myself to lift my head up to face them.

"I'm sorry…" My voice was strained, so I quickly cleared my throat, and continued on. "What I said…I'm sorry."

Mei and Ao Oni both looked at me, I couldn't read their face. "I…" I looked away but again forced my eyes to look straight at Mei. "I'm not a good friend am I, Mei – chan?" I laughed nervously, and my cheeks started to burn up. _Will they reject me?_ My mind kept asking over and over. "I understand if you don't want to be friends with me anymore, I mean I wouldn't want to be friends with me too," I started to babble, not keeping track with what I was saying, "I mean, I want to be your friend still… well I mean, if we are –" I stopped when Mei took a step forward. "Y-you can punch me too!" I said suddenly, "I mean, I totally deserve it right?" I laughed to cover up my insecurity. She took another step until she was right in front of me. She raised her arms, and in reflex, I shut my eyes waiting for the supposed punch.

She hugged me.

"It's okay," Mei said.

My tense shoulder immediately sagged. "What…?"

"You're scared, right?" Mei asked, I couldn't answer her question, "I'm… scared too." Mei added on in a timid voice.

My hand reached to her back and clutched onto her robe tightly. "I'm … scared." I repeated after her. My eyes were sore from all the crying; yet my eyes welled up in tears once more.

"We'll be alright. You'll be alright." Mei encouraged, "Your kaa – san said, ‘don't give up' right?" Mei parted from me and gave me a small smile, "so we can't give up now."

"Don't give up…" I repeated my mother words back to myself. I looked at Mei, "Why…how could you forgive me…?" I was perplexed by how easily she could forgive me. "Even after all the things I've said to you!"

"Tou –chan said, we should spend more time forgiving others than getting angry at others!" She said in perfect recitation, "plus, that's what friends do, right?" Mei gave me a cheeky smile and a thumbs up.

I stared at Mei in awe. I was simply star-struck. In my eyes, she was selfless, kind, and bright just like…just like…before more memories of her resurfaced I quickly blinked away her face. _No. Mei isn't her. She's nothing like Mei. Don't you dare mix them up together, Jade!_ I quickly admonish myself.

"Ahem." Ao Oni cleared his throat, and I looked towards Ao Oni who was looking away from us. "We should get going."

I looked at Mei, and she gave me a nudge towards Ao Oni. I could almost hear her saying that I owed him an apology too. It was easier to apologize to Mei than Ao Oni since I’m a tad bit more comfortable with opening up to her.

I took a hesitant limp towards Ao Oni. "Uhm…"

He pulled up his hand and formed a stop sign. "It's fine." He said bluntly.

"But –" I started.

"I'm used to it. It doesn't bother me." Ao Oni sharply replied.

I flinched away, but quietly said, "I'm sorry…" Ao Oni looked at me briefly, before looking away. "And thanks for this," I said pointing at my swollen cheek. "I needed it."

Ao Oni looked back at my cheek and smirked, "Anytime."

 _Well, a smirk is a start I suppose_ , I thought blandly. Feeling that he would probably want to end this conversation, I began to limp away in one direction before I realized I had no idea where I was going. Turning back, I sheepishly asked, "Where were we heading?"

Silence fell on us as I stared at both Ao Oni and Mei's vacant stares.

"I was just following Bunhead over here." Ao Oni pointed at Mei.

Mei looked flustered and immediately said, "I was following Fish head!"

I opened my mouth to say something but decided to close it. Instead, my left eye twitched irritably.

Another period of awkward silence settled down on us, until Mei finally said, "We should hide until the fight’s over." She began to walk ahead of us. "Tou – chan can easily find us!" She turned around and smiled cheerfully, "he's the bestest shinobi after all!"

Sometimes I envy Mei's energy and her easygoing nature.

 

{+}

 

We were all walking through the dark forest; it was hard to see the stray stumps and branches on the ground. After I tripped and fell three more times, Ao Oni sighed in annoyance and finally gave me a piggyback. I refused aggressively, and he insisted just as aggressively. Suffice to say; when Mei flat out told me that I was slowing everyone down, I begrudgingly accepted the piggyback from Ao Oni. I blushed in embarrassment, how many years has it been since I had last gotten a piggyback?

I could hear Ao Oni's heartbeat beating quickly from his back, "so-sorry…am I heavy?"

"Yes." Ao Oni said.

My cheeks heated up even more, "Fi-fine, I should get off!" I started to struggle from his grasp.

"You're heavy, but we're faster this way." He stated simply. I glowered at the back of his head, and pouted miserably, guys are supposed to say that you weren't heavy!

"It's alright Hami – chan. Hold out just a little longer, we'll find a good place to hide soon!" Mei remarked brightly.

"You should be saying that to me rather than her." Ao Oni said.

"Meh," Mei answered in a deadpan tone.

"Stupid Bunhead." Ao Oni growled lowly.

Mei stuck her tongue out in response.

Ao Oni's grasp of my leg tightened and I knew I was going to get into the middle of another session of lame name calling contest.

"H-hey!" I tried to get both of their attention. "You know Mei's name and my name, but we never got to find out your name." Considering the amount of time I've spent with him, I should know his name by now. Plus, I was tired of having to get his attention in a creative manner using a different variation of "you" and "hey."

The atmosphere around us got heavy. I immediately could tell that I stepped on a landmine. Maybe I should change the subject? If he doesn't want to tell me his name for whatever reason, I didn't want to push him any further. Also, he did give me a hard time the last time I asked him. I wonder why he didn't want to share his name with us?

"Yah! That's true!" Mei said, "People around here call you Ao Oni," at that I could feel Ao Oni's body tensing, and I wanted to face palm myself from Mei's lack of tact. "But, you said that's not your name!" Mei quickened her pace until she was a little ahead of us. She spun on her heels and got in front of Ao Oni. "What's your name?"

"That's none of your business." Ao Oni snipped out. Now I really wished Ao Oni wasn't giving me a piggyback. What if he threw me at Mei? I mean it might not happen, but I seriously could see Ao Oni doing that if Mei pushed anymore of his buttons.

"Eh! Don't be like that!" Mei's smile was wide and friendly. I gulped nervously, I could feel Ao Oni's mood growing darker.

"You don't have to tell us if you –" I was trying to salvage whatever good relation we had now, but Mei quickly cut me off.

"We're friends now aren't we?" Mei asked Ao Oni.

"Heh. Friends? With you?" Ao Oni scoffed.

I cringed and hoped that Mei wouldn't take offense of Ao Oni's cold demeanor. Ao Oni is nice, but he just had a thick shell to get through before he actually opened up to you.

"Well, friends help each other out! And you've been helping us out!" Mei reasoned plainly.

"I'm only helping the Yuki kid because of a debt that I owe to her clan!"

"Eh?" Mei blinked owlishly. "A debt?"

"A debt?" I mirrored Mei's curiosity. But then I soon recalled Ao Oni talking about this debt a couple resets ago:

 

_"Because of a debt."_

_"A debt?"_

_"There was a man from the same clan as you."_

_That's interesting; I did not expect that at all. "What was his name?"_

_"I don't know. And I don't care." He tried to end the story off with that, but my curiosity was itching at me to know._

_"How did you owe him a debt?" I leaned in closer to him, insisting on knowing._

_Ao Oni didn't say anything before he finally groaned in defeat, "He just helped me from the Mizu brothers. When I asked him what he wanted in return, he told me to help someone else who was weaker than me." He pointed at me, "and you're clearly 100 times, no, a million times weaker than me."_

 

Smiling from the memories, my heart ached dully. That's right, that event happened as well… My fingers clutched onto Ao Oni's shoulder. Being the only one to remember every event was a bit bitter.

"It doesn't matter if it's a debt," Mei said, "I wanna be friends with you!" She said directly. I could feel Ao Oni's shoulder stiffening from her reply. Mei had a penchant for being very straightforward and honest with her feelings, but at the same time I couldn't help but be attracted by her charisma and charm.

"Why?" Ao Oni's voice wavered slightly.

"Well, I don't really have many friends!" Mei beamed.

I was stupefied, was that something to be proud about even?

"But I wanna have lots of friends, ‘cos tou – chan said that having friends are important!" Mei held up both her hands, "I want at least this many friends!"

"Y-you want ten friends?" Ao Oni's voice sounded like he was in awe. Wait, why does he sound like he was in awe?

"I know it's going to be hard. A lot of kids seem to be scared of me though." Mei frowned in confusion.

"Probably ‘cos of your face." Ao Oni retorted.

"Oy! Shut up Fish head!" Mei barked back.

Just what was going on with this conversation? I thought as I looked back and forth from Mei and Ao Oni.

"Hami – chan is my first friend, so that means with you, I only need to find eight more friends!" Mei said proudly.

I looked at Mei proudly sticking up eight of her fingers. Honestly, the number of friends weren't as important as the quality of friends. But seeing how happy she was, I couldn't find it in myself to give her a lecture about friends. After all, I didn't really have many friends when I was Jade – and once Jade reached the age of 32, she became a social recluse. So really, I shouldn't be talking.

"I'm not interested, Bunhead." Ao Oni replied.

"Ehhh! Why?" Mei whined.

Ao Oni grabbed my legs tighter. "If you're gonna be friends with me, then having eight more friends would be impossible."

"What do you mean?" Mei gave him a quizzical look.

Another memory was recalled, back when we were hiding from the masked killer – or rather probably Uncle Shun.

_"Ao Oni is a monster. No one likes him. Well, he's also strangely colored right?"_

Ao Oni knew how others viewed him. Could it be? The reason why he refused to make friends was that he didn't want his friends to be harassed by others as well? I recalled his genuine smile when I first offered my friendship.

"I want to be your friend too," I said without realizing that I blurted out my feelings.

Ao Oni's body stilled from my voice.

My hands grabbed his shoulder a bit tighter, "People seem to hate me because I'm a clan kid." I felt a bit light headed right now, and my face felt hot. It was getting harder to have my head raised, so I couldn't help but lean against his shoulder, "So if I'm going to be hated anyways I won't care what people would think of me when I'm with you." I felt Ao Oni's body tremor, "So, can I be your friend too?" I asked once more.

He didn't say anything, and I thought he was going to reject me again. After a few tense moment of silence, I heard him gulp. He lowered his head, "Kisame." He muttered softly. He raised his head, and said his name once more in a clear voice, "It's…Kisame Hoshigaki."

I smiled widely, my head still leaning against his shoulder. It was getting a bit harder to breathe. The first time we met, we never got a proper introduction.

_I finally closed my eye, enjoying the burning sensation slowly being smothered away. "Ao ...Oni," I repeated after him; my lips curved upwards, "nice to meet –"_

How many times did I reset to have this small moment? "Kisame," I repeated after him; my lips curved upwards, "nice to meet you."

"Uhn." Kisame nodded in acknowledgment.

"Okay! From now on, your name will be Kisa – chan!" Mei's voice was filled with mirth.

"Pass," Kisame said almost immediately.

"Same – chan?" Mei tried again.

"No."

"Kiki – chan?"

"No."

"Kime – chan?"

"… Shut up bun head."

"I'm trying to give you a nickname, Fish head! Friends do that you know! What do you think Hami – chan?"

I chuckled quietly at their childish antic. My head lolled to the side, and my eyesight was growing dimmer.

"Ha-Hami – chan?" Mei called out to me in concern. I felt so dizzy, and I wished Kisame stopped shaking my body. I felt a cool hand on my forehead; it felt wonderful. "Y-you're burning up, Hami – chan!"

Ah shit. This is the beginning of a cold, isn't it? Ugh, I hate getting sick. I felt my body lowered to the wet ground, and my whole body slumped against the tree trunk.

"What should we do, Fish head?" Mei asked, concern and worry overflowing in her voice.

"For now, we shouldn't move her too much," Kisame replied.

I cracked open my eyes. Mei kneeled right next to me, and Kisame crouched down in front of me. "S-sorry guys…" I strained myself to say. I was a nuisance once again.

"It's fine." Surprisingly, Kisame reassured me first this time. "We're pretty far from the fights, so we should be safe here."

"I hope…" My breath was getting ragged, "I hope that… everyone will be safe."

Kisame looked at me with an unreadable expression on his face, "I'm sure they will be…" He had taken a short respite before he said, "Harumi."

I smiled, or at least I think I did. It was nice hearing him call me by my name; I don't think he ever really called me Harumi before. My gaze drifted past his shoulder, ready to fall asleep, but I saw something flashing within the dark groves of the trees.

An uncomfortable feeling clutched my heart, and before I realized what my body was doing, I pushed Kisame down.

_Thunk._

A sharp pain gripped my shoulder. "AUUGHH!" I cried hoarsely. Immediately, I collapsed to my side. _It hurts! It hurts!_ My shoulder screamed.

"Ha-Hami – chan!" Mei cried in horror.

I hesitantly looked over my shoulder, and it was the weirdly shaped black dagger that my uncle was using. I whimpered slightly, the blade felt like it was burning my shoulder. My hand was quivering, I wanted to pull it out, and I wanted the pain to stop! I grabbed the dagger, and immediately I cried louder. It hurts so much!

"Hime – sama~" I heard the deep voice singing from the forest. It was uncle Shun.

"Uuu…uuuu…" I couldn't form any words. I felt the warm, sticky blood coating my robe that clung and cooled my skin seconds after. "Ugh…uuu…" My lips quivered as I realized there was so much blood on my hand.

"Hime – sama~" Uncle Shun called again.

"Kisame! What should we do?" Mei cried desperately.

I couldn't hear what Kisame said. I was slowly drowning from the pain, and it was getting harder to think coherently.

"There you are, Hime – sama." Uncle Shun called out. Behind the veil of tears, I painfully twisted my neck and saw Uncle Shun's smiling face.

Immediately, Mei and Kisame stood before me covering my view. My shoulder felt like it was slowly being burnt off, and my voice gave up on screaming.

"Tsk, tsk." Uncle Shun clicked his tongue, "Hime – sama, I'm surprised you were able to make friends in such a short time." I heard a branch break. "Hime – sama, will you destroy more lives outside of our clan for your safety?" Uncle Shun's voice chilled my very soul.

"U-uncle…" I managed to croak out.

My vision was growing blurry, and I strained my eyes to keep them open. The pain was breaking me in and out of my consciousness. "Please…" I begged.

"Oof!" someone grunted.

"Ahhh!" I heard a high pitched scream soon after.

Kisame and Mei were no longer in front of me. Instead, Uncle Shun towered over me. Did he kill them? "Uncle…" I cried. "Please…" I struggled to get the words out. Uncle Shun leaned in front of me; he was missing his left eye. Half of his face was dripping with blood, and I shuddered as he looked like a crazy maniac.

His large hand grabbed the back of my hair and pulled me closer to his ear. "Hnngghh…" I whimpered; he was tearing my hair out.

"What is it, Hime – sama?" Uncle Shun whispered in my ear, I could feel his wet breath mingling and penetrating my skin.

I gritted my teeth, and tried to string words together, "Please…not… them…" I managed to splutter. His grip on my hair was lessened, and he dropped me back down to the wet, cold floor.

"Oh, Hime – sama!" My uncle cried. His body was hovering over mine; as I lay limp on the ground, I couldn't move much less struggle. His left arm was missing, and I could see blood sluggishly showering my yellow robe. I felt something wet hit my cheeks, and when I looked up, Uncle Shun was crying. Tears and blood danced together down his cheeks. "Hime – sama! No one can survive this." Uncle Shun sobbed. "But, I promise…" He muttered, and he straddled my waist. His fingers gently caressed my throat. "…That you will die first so that you will not have to feel the pain of witnessing your friends' death."

"No…" I whimpered out. "I …die…no…" I managed to gurgle out. My left shoulder was forgotten. I was scared. I didn't want to die. I didn't want Mei and Kisame to die. I didn't want my mother to die. "Please…" I managed to sob out. My vision was growing foggier. I can't pass out. No. I have to do something. I have to! I don't want to go back! I don't want to start over! I want this to end! Please!

"Hime – sama!" My uncle cried out louder. "Oh why! Why must you be born!" Uncle Shun sobbed louder. "Onee – sama, was never supposed to give birth! And yet, here you are!"

"Leave…Hami – chan alone!" I heard a familiar cry. My uncle made a strange hand sign, and suddenly I listened to an ear-piercing scream. "Kyaaaaaaaa!"

My lips opened to say stop, but no words came out. Mei's screams died down, and it was only my uncle and I once more.

"Hime – sama. I truly do love you." My uncle sighed mournfully. "I promise," he caressed the side of my face, "that once everything is over, I will join you in the afterlife."

"Wh…y?" I managed to utter out, flashes of black, and flashes of my uncle's bloody face were entering my vision back and forth. My body was growing cold, so cold.

"Hime – sama, I just want what's best for my family." His voice was cold, it held no warmth like the Uncle Shun I remembered him to be. "Please…won't you forgive me? Hime – sama?"

His voice was lulling me to sleep, a very cold sleep. My vision was slowly getting darker.  
Suddenly, I felt something warm splash all over my face and my body. I managed to see Uncle's wide eyes, and his lips faintly traced the motion of the word, "Hime – sama."

I shut my eyes.

  
{+}

  
I was in the world of darkness once more. My body felt hot and cold at the same time, but I soon found comfort after what felt like constant pain.

"Jade…"

I heard a familiar voice. When I turned around, I had to swallow down my shock.  
Standing before me, was my mother. She had shoulder length brown hair, with hazel eyes. She was wearing her favorite pink cardigan.

"Mom…?" My throat was sore. "Mom?" I cried out for her again.

My mother didn't say anything; she just gave me a gentle smile that I remembered vividly. It was the same smile she gave me when I would visit her every summer during my college days. It was the same smile she gave me every time she encouraged me after I broke down and couldn't pick up the pieces.

"Mom…" My voice was watery, "Mom, mom, mom!" I repeated over and over again. I took a hesitant step forward before I finally broke into a run. When I reached her, when I was about to touch her, craving for the warmth and love that I once threw away…

She vanished.

I was alone again.

  
{+}

  
CHIRP

CHIRP

CHIRP CHIRP

CHIRP

 _What an obnoxious bird_ , I thought irritatingly. I was a bit groggy, and my whole body ached. I finally opened my eyes, and a stream of light immediately blinded me. I squinted my eyes and used my hands to block the light. When I touched my face, it was wet. _Was I crying?_ I wiped off the remaining residue of my tears from my face and slowly got up.

I was in my room. A soft blue blanket wrapped around me comfortably, I stroke the blanket with an absent mind. My window with the wooden shutter was slightly ajar, and a fresh breeze hit my face. I looked next to my cot, and there was a bunch of weird dry herbs in various bottles. I looked down to my shoulder, and it was wrapped firmly with a roll of bandage. My shoulder didn't hurt at all either.

I slowly got out of my cot; my ankles just gave a small dull ache, but nothing too serious. I approached my window and pushed the wooden shutter wide open. My eyes widened slightly, and before I realized it, I was crying.

Outside, the sun was high up in the air. It was a new day.

A grin broke out from my lips. _I did it. I'm home. I'm home!_

My celebration was short-lived when I finally realized what transpired back in the forest with Uncle Shun. What happened to Mei? To Kisame? To my mother? My body froze, did they not make it? My heart started to beat rapidly; I needed to know what happened after I passed out! As if the universe heeded my call, the door opened quietly.

"Harumi." A gruff voice called me.

Standing before me was my grandfather. I rarely saw him; the only time we talked was when I exchanged greetings with him during the monthly clan's dinner.

Automatically, I bowed slightly, "He-hello, Oji – sama *."

"How are you feeling, Harumi?" He inquired quietly.

I looked up, and realize that my grandfather looked tired and haggard compared to the last time I saw him. "I-I'm fine, Oji – sama." I stuttered slightly.

He slowly made his way to my cot and sat down. I looked at him in bewilderment. What was happening right now?

"Harumi, come here." My grandfather beckoned me.

I hesitantly dragged my feet towards my grandfather and slunk down next to him. We sat there in silence before I couldn't hold back my curiosity.

"Oji – sama…" He didn't acknowledge me, but I knew he was still listening to me. "What… happened to Kaa – san, and, and… Mei – chan, and Kisame – kun, and –" I stopped abruptly when my grandfather raised his hand to a universal stop sign. I gulped quietly. My grandfather always intimidated me.

"The two kids are alright, they've only sustained minor injuries." I released a breath I didn't realize I was holding in relief. "Terumi – san came by to drop off some medicine for your fever and injuries." My eyes instantly landed back on the bottles with dried herbs. I waited for my grandfather to continue, but he sat there in silence.

"W-what about Kaa – san?" My voice was just above a whisper. Within me, I still held a sliver of hope.

My grandfather didn't reply; he didn't need to. As soon as he grabbed my hand, and squeezed lightly, I cried.

I didn't know how long I cried, but I cried until no more tears would spill out from me. My grandfather did something uncharacteristic of him. He held me and let me cry my heart out. Although my grandfather did not shed a single tear, I could feel his hand that was on my back shaking.

But, life, unfortunately, moves on. Time will not stop for anyone; it will keep ticking on until the end. My grandfather was called away by one of my cousins, and my grandfather whispered to me that I should rest some more. I didn't reply, I could only manage a hiccup in response. The door shut with a soft click.

I looked down at my hand, and my hand slowly formed a tight fist. If only I went back to my mother. I gritted my teeth, trying to contain the scream that was bubbling up inside of me. If only, _if only, I could warn my mother, perhaps, all of this wouldn't have happened!_  
An idea clicked inside of my mind. "If I could just go back in time…" A delusional thought danced inside my head. That's right, I could go back in time. All I needed to do was…die! I stood up from my cot, _I can make things better_ , I thought happily. I left my room and walked towards the kitchen.

I saw my mother's favorite fruit knife sitting idly on the counter next to the bowl of apples. My heart ached. She would always cut these apples into slices and create cute little rabbit ears for me.

My hand slowly reached for the knife.

_"Fight to live on."_

I heard my mother's voice suddenly. My hand stopped momentarily until it finally dropped back to my side. I hung my head in shame. What if I didn't come back after my suicide? Will my mother's death be in vain? She gave up her life in hopes that someone _like me_ could live. I was scared of the unknown. Even if I do die now, what if there was a limitation to how many times I could reset? I barely just got out of this event alive, what made me think that I would be lucky the next time around?

My knees finally gave up on me. "Kaa – san… I'm sorry." I finally uttered out. I could come up with a million and one excuses of why turning back time would be bad, but I knew deep down it boiled down to one answer: I was scared. I was finally safe. I didn't have to feel pain anymore. I didn't have to watch people die anymore. I was scared to take the plunge. I covered my eyes with my hands and growled out "Pathetic. You're the worst. Coward! Coward! Coward! Coward! Coward!" How many times have I called myself a coward? How many times have I called myself pathetic? I hated myself. I thought that I had finally changed to become the person I could be proud of. But, I haven't changed at all. I was still the same person, I laughed out bitterly, "As if you could change, coward." I spat out viciously.

Knowing that you had the power to change time, to change events, but when you couldn't utilize it properly brought more pain than pleasure to me. Knowing that there was a possibility for a happy ending, but being too scared to fight for it felt like I had killed my own mother! I could save her, but I chose not to. _I might as well have killed my own mother_ , I shuddered, and bile rose up painfully in my throat. I realized that it was better to live in a world where everything was inevitable: that time can't be changed, that the past can't be changed –

At least that way, I could pass the blame to the past me, and say: I did everything I could.

 

**\---O---**

**|**

**|**

**Arc 1 End**

**The Girl Who Conquered Death: Harumi Yuki**

**|**

**|**

**\---O---**

 


	12. Fourth Mizukage

It took seven days to arrange a funeral for my mother and Naomi-san, who died fighting against Uncle Shun and his followers. There were no grave markers for Uncle Shun or any of my cousins who followed him.

 

The sky was impossibly blue, and the birds twittered energetically. The world did not weep for the dead, it continued on at its own leisurely pace.

 

Our whole clan gathered in front of the two caskets. I didn’t know Naomi-san that well, but as I saw my aunt and uncle bawling their eyes out for her, I knew she was very much loved and treasured. My grandfather put his hand behind my back, and I robotically marched up to my mother’s casket.

 

Her eyes were closed; she had long black lashes.

 

Her face was so pale; she looked cold.

 

Her bangs framed her face nicely; she was very pretty.

 

My grandfather handed me a flower; it was white and fragrant. I laid out the flower on top of mother’s chest amongst the rest of the other flowers that my family member placed on her.

 

“She looks peaceful, oji-sama,” I muttered quietly.

 

My grandfather’s only reply was a gentle pat on my head, and he motioned me to leave my mother to let my other cousins say their dues to her.

 

When my grandfather and my cousins spoke of their memories of Naomi-san, and my mother, I heard a lot of sniffles here and there. I wanted to cry and bawl, yet I no longer had the energy to shed any more tears. I felt a pang of emptiness, and regret.

 

When they closed the casket, I knew this would be the last time I could see my mother. My hands and lips started to tremble.

When they lowered down the casket into their graves, my knees started to feel weak.

 

When they slowly filled the hole with dirt, my heart clenched tightly.

 

I could’ve saved my mother, but I didn’t. Those thoughts would always weigh down on me.

 

_ I will never forgive myself. That I promised. _

 

{+}

 

After the funeral concession, my grandfather called me inside to his room. Masato and Suikazan were sitting on the floor in front of my grandfather. Both Masato and Suikazan wore black yukatas; it seemed they also attended my mother’s funeral, but I guess I was too wracked with grief to notice them.

 

“Where are your manners, Harumi?” My grandfather’s voice boomed.

 

Startled, I quickly bowed, “Good afternoon, Suikazan-sama, and Terumi-san.” They both nodded at me in acknowledgment.

 

I treaded carefully until I was next to my grandfather; it was the only cushion available to sit on. I sat down on my knees, kept my back straight, and set my eyes forward.

 

There was a short moment of silence before my grandfather began to speak. “I humbly appreciate you saving Harumi.” Suddenly, my grandfather bowed down to both Suikazan and Masato until his forehead touched the floor.

 

Looking at Masato and Suikazan, they were both just as shocked as I was.

 

“P-please! Yuki-sama, please raise your head!” Masato’s tone was jittery.

 

My grandfather raised his head, and his face was just as impassive as before. “I have already lost both my daughter and my traitorous son, I cannot bear to think of losing my only beloved granddaughter.”

 

I took a small side-glance towards my grandfather. Did he not see Uncle Shun’s two daughters as his granddaughter?

 

“It is no problem Yuki-sama.” Masato looked at me with gentle eyes, “I’m just glad that Harumi-chan is safe and sound now.”

 

My grandfather gave a curt nod. He then placed two full-looking leather pouches in front of Masato and Suikazan. “This is the Yuki clan’s show of gratitude. Please.” My grandfather then motioned the bags towards them.

“I-I can’t possibly take that much, Yuki-sama!” Masato exclaimed.

 

“Please. I insist.” My grandfather’s tone was flat.

 

“Well, if he insists, I don’t see why we can’t accept this, Terumi.” Suikazan finally spoke up, and his large hand grasp one of the leather pouches that jingled lightly.

 

Masato looked at my grandfather and refused once more.

 

“The extra money could go to your daughter, who will be attending the academy this year.” My grandfather said.

 

At that, Masato stared at the pouch once more, gulped, and hesitantly took the pouch and pocketed it. He muttered a small thank you.

 

My grandfather had nodded before he stood up. “Excuse me, I must get back to the funeral, there are still some things I must take care of. Please, help yourself to some refreshment while you’re here.”

 

Masato and Suikazan both showed their gratitude with a small bow and watched my grandfather silently leave the room and closed the door quietly.

 

All three of us sat quietly, and I finally forced myself to say something. “Um!” Instantly, both Suikazan and Masato gave me their full attention. I felt my cheeks burn in embarrassment, “T-thank you for helping me out.” I gave a small bow.

 

“Little lady,” Suikazan called me. I lifted my head up to match his slanted eyes; “I should thank you for this.” At that, he took out the pouch and shook it slightly. What I assume to be coins, jingled merrily.

 

“Suikazan!” Masato quickly admonished him, “even if your true intent was to make some quick cash, you shouldn’t say it so blatantly in front of Harumi-chan!”

 

Suikazan just shrugged, “I want her to know the value of being part of the Yuki-clan. I like the little lady even if she’s a little _ dull-witted _ , so I’m only educating her.”

 

“The value of…” I repeated in confusion. I scowled when he called me  _ dull-witted. _ Suikazan was such an asshole!

 

“Suikazan…” Masato warned lowly, which Suikazan completely brushed aside.

 

“When I saw the little lady, she wasn’t wearing any of her clan symbols. But as soon as I found out she was from the Yuki clan, I knew I could definitely bank on some easy cash,” he chuckled slightly after, “Who would have thought, I saved the Yuki-hime of all the children.” Suikazan chuckles morphed into a boisterous laugh. “Little lady, know that money is what will help you in the long run. The Yuki Clan may be traitors, but at least they have money! Use that wisely.” He ended his lecture with a wide grin. 

 

I gaped silently; I was speechless.  _ Traitors? What did that mean? _ Also, was he implying, should I had been just an average kid, he wouldn’t have helped me?

 

Masato just sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “You have such a nasty personality, Suikazan.”

 

Suikazan just laughed giddily and stood up. His head easily almost touched the roof of the room. He was a huge and stocky man.

 

“I’ll be heading out first, Terumi,” Suikazan gave me a crooked grin, “ _ little lady _ .”

 

Just like that, Suikazan opened the door and closed the door lightly. The feeling of gratitude I felt for Suikazan vanished as he left the room.

 

I finally blurted out, “What did he mean by traitors?”

 

I looked at Masato, and he sighed wearily. “You’re still much too young Harumi-chan. I’m sure once you enter the Academy, they will be more than happy to remind you  _ over and over again _ .” I clamped my lips shut by how bitter and cold Masato sounded.

 

He looked at me and widen his eyes a fraction, and quickly replaced his grimace with a small smile. “Sorry about that Harumi-chan.”

 

My shoulders tensed slightly, “I-it’s okay. I-I’m sorry to have bothered you.”

 

Masato shook his head slowly, “There’s a lot of dark history in Kirigakure. I do not wish to further trouble you when you have not yet dirtied your hands.”

 

I didn’t understand what Masato was saying so I just nodded lightly. Before Masato decided to leave, I decided to switch topics and ask a different question. “H-how was Mei-chan and Ao- I mean, Kisame-kun doing?”

 

Masato sighed loudly, “Right now, Mei-chan is pouting that we’ve grounded her and she couldn’t see you today.” I smiled slightly at that, as I imagined Mei puffing out her cheeks in distaste. “She threw a hissy fit before I left you see.” I could sense the light mood returning back into this room. “As for Kisame-kun, after we treated his injuries, he just left.” I felt sorry for Kisame; I was the one who dragged him into this mess. Masato laughed sheepishly, “Sorry, I don’t know too much about what happened to that boy.”

 

I shook my head lightly, “It’s alright. Thank you for telling me this.” I was just relief that Mei and Kisame weren't terribly hurt.

 

“Harumi-chan…” Masato’s voice was a bit hesitant when I looked up; he was frowning down at me.

 

“Y-yes?” I was taken aback, why did he look so serious?

 

“I have a small favor to ask of you.”

 

I gulped and gave a small nod.

 

“Could you take me to your uncle’s study room?”

 

I blinked twice and tilted my head in confusion. Why did he need to go to Uncle’s room? Rather than questioning Masato, I nodded once more and stood up from my seat. “R-right this way, Terumi-san.”

 

It was a quiet walk down the hallway; only the pitter-patter of my feet was heard. Masato steps were silent; it was almost eerie how little of a sound he made.

 

We finally arrived at Uncle Shun’s study room. My throat was dry, as conflicting emotion wrestled inside my gut.

 

I felt a strong hand on my small shoulder; I looked up to see Masato giving me an understanding face. “You don’t have to come in, Harumi-chan.”

 

“I-I want to.” I finally blurted out.

 

Masato’s hand slid off from my shoulder. I turned my whole body towards him, “You know, don’t you Terumi-san?” I wet my cracked lips, “You know why uncle Shun tried to … tried to…” I couldn’t finish the rest of my sentence.

 

Masato knelt down to one knee until he was eye level with me. “Sometimes, I’m amazed at how observant you are.” My eyes twitched slightly, hating the fact that he was treating me like a kid. “Sometimes, it’s hard to believe you are only three years old, Harumi.” My blood ran cold, and my eyes widened in shock.

 

“Wh-what…?” I managed to stutter out.

 

“I can tell that you understand a lot of things, more than you let on, Harumi.” It was weird when Masato dropped the friendly suffix from my name.

 

“Who are you, Harumi?” My back stiffened, and my hands were clammy. Did he know? Did he know that I was an adult trapped in a kid’s body? How could he know though?

 

“I’m…” Images of Jade wasting her day fruitlessly flashed across my mind, “I’m…” I didn’t know who I was.

 

I felt a warm hand cradling the side of my head. Masato was smiling kindly down at me, “Harumi-chan, did you know?” I waited for Masato to finish, “Prodigies only come once in a generation.” I blinked rapidly,  _ prodigies _ ?

 

“Huh?” I was confused.

 

“I know you will be destined for great things, Harumi-chan” Masato finally voiced out.

 

“I’m not…” I wanted to refute Masato’s strange belief that I was some prodigy. As well as his deluded dream into thinking that I was here to fulfill some great things.

 

“You’ll figure out who you truly are Harumi-chan.” I had no idea where he was going with this, “and once you do, I’m sure you’ll bring Kirigakure a bright future.”

 

He finally stood up, and the air wasn’t as thick anymore. “Harumi-chan,” Masato called out to me, and I immediately looked up to him. “Knowing certain information is dangerous in the world of shinobi.”

 

“I still want to know.” I finally spoke up, I didn’t know why Masato gave me that weird speech, but I wanted some form of closure by knowing the reason why Uncle Shun made those decisions.

 

Masato sighed, but before he could convince me not to, I grabbed hold of his large hand with my two small hands. I clutched it tightly, “Please Terumi-san. Please. I must know!”

 

Masato stared at me, before he sighed wearily once more, “Daichi, your daughter reminds me too much of Mei-chan.” He muttered more to himself. He opened Uncle Shun’s study room and gestured me to enter first. I took a small gulp and walked into the small dead space. It was exactly how I imagined it to be. Uncle Shun’s desk, his bookshelves, and some parchment paper were sitting on top of his table.

 

“Harumi-chan,” Masato spoke very quietly, “you must never utter out anything you see from here.” He took two long strides until he stood in front of me. “Can you promise me this?”

 

I nodded dumbly, “I need you to answer.  _ Do you understand me _ , Harumi?” Masato commanded so much authority that I yipped out a small “yes.”

 

Masato nodded to me, with an unreadable expression. “Your uncle came to our shop, and requested some flower seeds.” I stood silent, drinking up every word he spoke out. “The flower seeds he requested were highly unusual. It was foreign and was hard to obtain. But he paid a hefty sum for it.” Why was he talking about flowers? “Your uncle was a brilliant man, Harumi-chan.” I winced, not wanting to hear any praise towards an uncle who chose to kill his own family. “It’s unfortunate that he did not utilize his talents for the greater good…” Masato trailed on.

 

Masato walked towards a small vase, it was growing splendidly by the window. The flower had pale purple petals, and in the center, it had the most unique black center with green speckles.

 

“Perhaps, your uncle thought that what he was doing was for the greater good.” Masato seemed to be talking more to himself than to me now. “This flower is called the  _ Silent Eater _ , it’s a rare sighting in Sunagakure. Not many people in Kirigakure know about this flower.” I scrunched up my face; I didn’t know anything about Sunagakure. “To think that your uncle was able to mutate this flower to such an extent…” Masato trailed on. I sucked on the bottom of my lips, having trouble following any of Masato’s own musing.

 

There was a small pause before I finally took the courage and asked, “What’s so special about the Silent Eater, Terumi-san?”

 

Masato didn’t reply for a long while, and I stood there fidgeting. He took a small breath and finally turned towards me. He had so many confusing emotions conflicting within his eyes, “It’s poison.”

 

“P-poison?” I repeated after him, dumbfounded.

 

“If you extract the flower’s nectar and consume it, it will take 48 to 90 hours until it takes effect, and the poison will  _ corrode  _ your body from the inside out.” I didn’t know what the word  _ corrode _ meant. Masato continued on, “You only need one dose,” Masato’s eyes looked like he was looking through me; I don’t think he saw me anymore, “just one dose, to kill anyone silently without a trace.”

 

“Te-Terumi-san?” I called out to him softly.

 

“Your uncle's plan was very...ambitious” I flinched when Masato’s voice sounded so cold, and unfeeling. Masato turned towards the lone purple flower once more. He held his hand just above the flower and made a weird hand sign. “I promised Daichi, your tou-san, that I would protect you.”

 

“T-Terumi-san?” My voice increased, as I wanted to know more about the promise he made to my father.

 

Masato muttered something and blew out a small steam from his mouth. The flower instantly wilted and crumbled into a sad state. It was strange how I was starting to get use to seeing weird magic that everyone seemed to be able to perform. Masato picked up the vase and faced me once again. “Harumi…” He looked at me with so much pain, and I was confused as to why he would do such a thing. “Please, if you know what’s good for you, please don’t ever repeat what you heard today to anyone else.”

 

I nodded silently, and Masato patted my head once more. He was about to leave before he turned towards me, “Are you coming?”

 

I looked around Uncle Shun’s room, “They’re going to destroy everything in this room.” I answered flatly. Masato didn’t say anything, so I continued; “I want to see if I can find anything… anything that’ll tell me about why Uncle Shun tried to kill me.”

 

“Harumi-chan…we should leave.” Masato sternly said.

 

“I want to stay here!” I argued stubbornly.

 

“Whatever you’re looking for, I’m sure your grandfather already searched this place clean.”

 

I stood silent.

 

“There’s nothing here for you anymore, it’s best if you forget.”

 

My hands clenched tightly,  _ how could I possibly forget _ ? Not wanting to argue further, I turned on my heels and followed Masato out the door.

 

At the end of the day, the only thing I learned was that my uncle cultivated a poisonous flower that he might have planned to use on us.

 

{+}

 

A couple days passed quietly in my household. One of my aunts, who was Naomi-san’s mother would come by and cook meals for me. There would always be meals for one, and I would sit down on the table alone. I should be used to eating alone as Jade had been eating alone most of her adulthood, yet I desperately missed the atmosphere of eating a meal together with my family now.

 

After finishing the meals, I would retire back into my bedroom, and  _ do nothing _ . I just sat and thought about the recent events. Playing the scenarios in my mind over and over again, and see what I could’ve done, and where I had gone wrong. I also contemplated on seeing the twins and asking them about Uncle Shun, their father, but I think I would end up beating the shit out of them, or at least  _ try my goddamn best to _ . Bile rose up from my throat,  _ did they know _ ? I couldn’t help but think if the twins set everything up. My hands clutched my robe tightly, my knuckles turning white. They were really great at lying, or maybe I was too gullible.

There was a light rap on my door. “Y-yes!” I called. When the door opened, my grandfather greeted me. I almost jumped out of my skin, as I tried to skittishly get off my bed, and bowed. “Go-good afternoon oji-sama.”

 

“You must speak with more confidence, Harumi.” My grandfather spoke casually.

 

“Y-yes!” I stuttered once more, I almost wanted to face palm myself.

 

“Get dressed and meet me in front of the compound, Harumi.” My grandfather turned to leave before I got the chance to ask why.

 

After the door softly closed behind him, I looked at the many robes with the snowflake insignia on the back. It brought back a lot of unpleasant memories. I hesitantly picked out the dark blue robe and tied the obi around me tightly. It was a messy knot. I could never do it properly. I looked in the mirror and noticed my disheveled hair. I quickly smoothed my hair with my hand. It wasn’t any much better. My face only had a small tinge of yellow from the fading bruise that Kisame gifted me. My lips twitched upwards, “I wonder how he’s doing…”

 

I walked out of my room and headed to the entrance of the compound. Out there, two of my cousins who wore the metal headband with the squiggly lines were waiting outside with my grandfather.

 

I gave them both a small bow and looked at my grandfather. He did a once over, and tsk-ed loudly. “Sana, fix Harumi’s obi. We can’t have her looking like a slob in front of the Fourth.”

 

I looked owlishly at my grandfather, who was the fourth? Sana undid my obi, and with expert hands, she quickly tied my obi back into a very neat knot. “T-thank you,” I muttered out.

 

“Anytime, Harumi-sama.” I flinched at how dead her voice was.

 

My grandfather and my two cousins began to depart, and I trailed right behind them. It was a 20 minutes walk.

 

We arrived in front of a large group of people. They were all facing the stage with a podium on it. I’ve noticed immediately that there was a line of intimidating looking individuals who wore the same flak jacket as Masato, and they all wore the metal headband standing on the stage. I heard snippets of people’s conversation regarding this mysterious person named the Fourth.

 

“I heard he was only 16-…”

“One of the most powerful shinobi-…”

 

“What happened to the third-…”

 

Before I could listen to more rumors on the mill, a loud  _ boom _ resounded. My shoulders jumped up in surprise. There was a bunch of loud shushes until everyone finally quieted down.

 

A man with short gray hair walked to the podium, and his deep voice echoed through the whole area. “We are gathered here today to welcome the new  _ Mizukage _ .”

 

I looked to the left side of the stage and saw a very short young boy with messy light brown hair. He wore a green robe and had a black staff-like pole with a flower on end strapped to his back. He stood in front of the podium, but we could only see the ends of his hair. He cleared his throat, and immediately, the man who introduced him quickly brought a small stool for him to stand on.

 

“Good afternoon everyone. Thank you for joining me here today.” He spoke mildly, and evenly. “Although the third Mizukage was ready to hand the title to me once I’ve reached the age of 24, misfortune has struck him suddenly.” Suddenly, an explosion of mutters was heard.

 

“SILENCE!” The man with the short gray hair screamed. Immediately, the people silenced themselves once again.

 

“Thank you.” The fourth nodded curtly to the man with short gray hair. “Despite my age, I will do everything in my power to continue the Third’s legacy.” At that, my grandfather who had his hands on my shoulders tighten slightly. “Right now, there is a political movement to overthrow the  _ Kirigakure _ regime in the  _ Land of Water.” _ I stared on blankly as I was never informed of such unrest within my household. My parents just never talked about this village. “I promise that I will purge our nation of the  _ traitors _ , and those with the  _ cursed blood _ we call  _ Kekkei Genkai _ .” He spat out the word  _ Kekkei Genkai _ with so much disgust and the whole crowd erupted into elicit loud cheers. I wonder what a  _ Kekkei Genkai  _ was? The Fourth waited patiently until the whole crowd quieted down once more. “However, our enemies are not solely within our borders. There is a talk of war between  _ Iwagakure _ and  _ Konohagakure _ ,” the crowd began to murmur in displeasure. Again, it was another place I had never heard about. “It will only be a matter of time before we are dragged into their affairs.” The crowd soon started to get uneasy. “However, I urge you to keep calm. We are strong, resilient, and will not let anyone overtake us.” This was starting to feel like a propaganda speech. “They are ruthless and will stop at nothing to take more than their given land.” The Fourth paused and took a thoughtful scan of the crowd. “I behest you to support our Kirigakure shinobi, and enlist to our ranks to protect your family, your friends, your neighbors, and  _ our future _ .”

  
  


The crowd was silent, but I heard a couple of scattered applause before more people started to join in. Seconds later, the people roared out loud and chanted the name “Fourth.” It took a lot longer for everyone to settle down, but I think the Fourth enjoyed the positive energy judging from the fact that he didn’t try to quiet down the crowd.

 

When the crowd finally settled down, he finally said, “I humbly accept the position to be your Fourth Mizukage. I promise to work hard to make this country prosperous and bring back the former glory of Kirigakure!” He took a short bow, and the crowd cheered loudly once more.

 

My grandfather dragged me away from the unruly crowd, and we started to walk towards the stage. “Be on your best behavior, Harumi.” My grandfather’s voice cut through the loud background noise.

 

We finally approached the boy named Fourth, and I connected the dots realizing that the title Mizukage was similar to a mayor? President? Or the Village Leader? The Fourth was shaking hands with random people, and I realized that he was much shorter in person. He looked like to be in grade school.

 

The Fourth turned towards my grandfather, and his eyes landed on me briefly. “We, of the Yuki clan, will hope to continue to be at your service, Yondaime-sama.*”

 

“Ah yes, the Yuki clan.” His voice was devoid of any emotion, “I have heard a most unsettling rumor that the Sandaime struck a deal with your clan.” I looked at my grandfather who had a very impassive mask on. “Of course, it seems no one knows any details of this…deal.” The Fourth ended casually.

 

“Unfortunately, the deal was made between my daughter and Sandaime-sama.” My grandfather replied almost too quickly. “My daughter never shared any information with me.”

 

“Where is your daughter?” The Fourth looked at me and then to my two cousins.

 

“She has recently passed away.”

 

“How recent?”

 

“It will be almost two weeks now, Yondaime-sama.” My grandfather’s pained voice gripped my heart uncomfortably.

 

“Was it of poisoning?” The Fourth asked casually. My face scrunched at such a direct question.

 

“No. She was murdered by one of our  _ delusional clansmen, _ Yondaime-sama.” My grandfather’s voice shuttered ever so slightly. It seems my Uncle has been reduced to a delusional clansman in my grandfather’s eyes. “That is a very peculiar question to have asked, Yondaime-sama.”

 

“Ah, my apologies to have reminded you of such a tragedy. I only ask of the circumstance of her death as she seemed to have died around the same time the Sandaime was found dead in his chamber. How coincidental.” I didn't like how his eyes narrowed down at my grandfather, his tone was light, but I could sense a hint of accusation. “It was quite a gruesome death, I’ve heard.” My hands started to get clammy, and my throat felt like it was closing slowly. Suddenly, my conversation with Masato was recalled. “The Iryou-nin* deduced someone has poisoned him, but there is no proof.”

 

This was just a coincidence, I assured myself. The poison that Masato was talking about, it was supposed to be used for our family. There was no correlation, I weakly argued with myself. But the seed of doubt was already implanting itself in the back of my head.

 

“That is very unfortunate.” My grandfather’s flat voice knocked me out of my thoughts, “Many condolences, Yondaime-sama.”

 

The Fourth waved his hand nonchalantly, “That is the past. Let’s cut to the heart of the matter.” His eyes glared at us slightly, “What is it that you would request of me,  _ Yuki _ .” I flinched uncomfortably when he bit out our surname harshly.

 

“I beg you to show our clan mercy, as the Sandaime-sama has done up until now.” I looked up to my grandfather; he was always seen to be a very prideful man, who commanded so much respect from our family. Yet, I’ve already seen him bow and beg twice within one week! Furthermore, I didn’t understand why my grandfather was begging the Fourth for mercy? I couldn’t follow the conversation at all.

 

“Hmm…” The Fourth hummed lightly before his gaze fell on me once more. Completely ignoring my grandfather, he asked, “Now who’s this young girl?” I jerked away slightly, and my grandfather nudged me to say something.

 

“Ah…uhm…” I could feel my cousins and my grandfather glaring daggers down at me. “My name is Ha-Harumi Yuki….Yo-Yondaime-sama.”

 

The Fourth chuckled quietly, “She seems to be lacking confidence.” He pointed out directly.

 

“So-sorry!” I quickly did a 90 degrees bow, and quietly added “Yondaime-sama.”

 

That only brought out more chuckles from the Fourth. I felt a small hand on my head and realized that the Fourth, who even my grandfather seemed to be at his mercy, was patting my head. My whole body stilled, something about the Fourth made me so uneasy. On top of that, I was worried that he would ask me if I knew anything about this poison that offed the previous leader. But instead of interrogation, the Fourth simply said, “What a cute kid.”

 

I didn’t know how to feel about that.

 

“Harumi-chan.” I quickly looked up to the Fourth who was smiling lightly at me, “Can I call you  _ Haru-chan _ ?”

 

The moment I heard that nickname, memories of my mother flooded out.

 

_ “Haru-chan, dinner’s ready!” _

 

_ “Haru-chan! Have a good night.” _

 

_ “Haru-chan, I love you.” _

 

My lips froze, and I had to bite my bottom lip hard before I gave out a strangled cry.

 

“What’s the matter,  _ Haru-chan _ ?”

 

A whimper still managed to escape so I bit my bottom lip harder.

 

“My apologies Yondaime-sama.” My cousin, Sana spoke out suddenly. “Hime-sama has recently lost her mother, and her mother used to call her by that name.” 

 

“Ah, so  _ Haru-chan _ is the next heir of the Yuki clan.” The Fourth said. I had to control my emotion from bursting out once more, why did he keep calling me Haru-chan? Didn’t he see how much that name was hurting me?

 

“Hey,  _ Haru-chan _ ?” The Fourth grabbed my chin to forcefully get me to look into his pupil-less magenta colored eyes. “It’s unfortunate that your mother has died, but I want you to remember something very important.” He used such a fake saccharine tone.

 

I gulped in reply. He was scaring me. My body trembled.

 

“As the heir of the Yuki clan, you’re the worst of the scum that is polluting Kirigakure.”

 

I blinked away a tear.

 

“You should be grateful that the merciful Sandaime has allowed your clan to survive this long. However, I will not do the same.”

 

“Y-Yondaime-sama!” My grandfather uttered in horror.

The Fourth let go of my chin and stared at me with disgust, “Results.”

 

“I – I don’t understand.” My grandfather stammered. I had never heard my grandfather stammer this much.

 

“Show me results. Show me that the Yuki clan will be useful to me. Show me the value of keeping your cursed blood live.” He patted my head once more, “Haru-chan will be the representative of your clan.”

 

“The re-representative?” My grandfather asked.

 

The Fourth sighed in annoyance, “Basically, I’m saying that if Haru-chan here shows great results in her Shinobi career – let’s say, in the next six years? Then her clan will be spared.” My eyes widen in shock, six years? That means I'll be nine when my time is up! He's crazy!

 

“S-six years? But, Yondaime-sama, six years is too sho-“ My grandfather mirrored my thoughts.

 

“I will wait. Six years is being generous, don’t you think?” The Fourth’s voice was tittering on edge, daring anyone to argue with him.

 

My grandfather immediately backed down, “Thank you, Yondaime-sama.”

 

I looked up to the Fourth, and he stared right back. “Originally, I was going to destroy your clan, Haru-chan.” My stomach swirled at how easily he could speak of killing others, “but I really like your eyes,  _ back then _ , and even now.”

 

I took a small step back, surprised by the sudden shift in his tone and words. Searching my memories, I couldn’t for the life of me, remember seeing him anywhere.

 

“Your eyes resemble that of a dead person…I wonder why that is? Quite fascinating.” The Fourth wore the mask with a smile etched on, “I hope you don’t disappoint,  _ Haru-chan _ .” With that cryptic message he turned to leave, and my grandfather, my cousins, and I all stood shell-shocked.

 

I brought my hand to my left eyelid.

 

“What an unusual thing to say to Hime-sama.” Sana finally spoke out.

 

My other cousin finally voiced out his opinion, “Well, Hime-sama’s kaa-san…-”

 

“Silence.” My grandfather's voice instantly shushed them.

 

I closed my lips to a tight line. More questions were forming inside my mind. Did Uncle poison the previous leader? And why? Also, why was our clan hated so much? Finally, how the hell was I supposed to show him results in my shinobi career? I didn't want to become a shinobi, I didn't want to fight and kill! I quickly realized that asking questions that I did not have an answer to was causing me more harm than good. 

 

One thing for certain was that I knew that the Fourth couldn’t have known about my special powers, but even still, he made me anxious. The words I did not want to hear, he had voiced them out loud and clear. No matter how many times I went back in time, the memories of my death, my pain, and my anguish will still remain. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!  
> This story is originally uploaded on fanfiction, but since I finally got an account on AO3, I decided to upload my story on here as well. 
> 
> I know a lot of you guys may think I stole this idea from this anime called "Re:Zero" (as some readers pointed it out for me on FF) but really, my inspiration came from this popular game called Undertale. Regardless of some of the "similarities" you may see with Re:Zero - I hope this will not discredit my story, my characters, and my take on how my OC can change the Pre-Canon of Naruto. 
> 
> Please leave a review, I would love to read your thoughts!  
> See you next chapter!


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